


i'm in it for the long game

by alecbaenes



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: F/M, Slow Burn, also the rucas and smarkle are on the side, like sloooooooooow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2017-01-28
Packaged: 2018-07-26 14:23:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 57,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7577494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alecbaenes/pseuds/alecbaenes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Maya, you do understand I’m too old for you?”</p><p>“I do Josh, I know that.”</p><p>“Good.”</p><p>“But I’m in it for the long game.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this fic was born because i needed more josh and riley bonding and then decideed i also needed more joshaya in my life. this fic is canon up until after girl meets permanent record.

Josh Matthews had a love hate relationship with the subway. On one hand, it was convenient and a good way to beat the infamous New York traffic. When riding the subway you were almost always guaranteed something interesting to watch; whether it was a scandalous fight between a couple or simply a pretty girl. He enjoyed watching the variety of people who used the public transport. You had the grumpy businessmen who were always yelling at someone on their phone, the quiet reader, musicians performing on their guitars, the ones who slept on the seats, and friends excitedly babbling about whatever they were going to do. Just about all of them were drinking coffee. There was a feeling of separation and unity as Josh would watch what unfolded in the subway car as he listened to music. But, being on the subway meant that he had limited freedom. He missed driving in his admittedly shitty pick-up truck, going so fast that the lights were nothing but a blur, yelling along to the music because that was the only way he could hear himself over the volume. The feeling of freedom it gave him was indescribable. Josh hated the the fact that it sat in a spot in the parking garage of NYU that he overpaid for, only used when he drove out to Philadelphia.

Nevertheless, this was how he had to get to his brother’s apartment for an actual meal. Cory had called him while he was walking out of his awful psychology class; asking how his first month at NYU was going. Josh had said it was going fine and mentioned the fact that his body probably consisted of 76% insta-noodle broth at this point. Cory insisted that he came over to eat and see them, especially because they hadn’t seen each other in a long time.

The last time he visited, Riley and her friends had gone to Texas, so he saw his brother, sister-in-law, and nephew, but not his niece. The next opportunity to see them was Christmas and New Years, but he caught pneumonia and was ordered to bed rest by his mom. They couldn’t visit each other when both he and Riley graduated as it happened on the same day and they both threw parties. The last time Josh saw Cory and Topanga they helped him get settled into his dorm room, but that day was a mess. The whole day was doomed from the start really. His parents didn’t really approve the fact that he chose architecture as his major, throw that in with the usual emotions of a kid leaving the nest and you’ve got a lot of tension and crying. His mom kept sobbing and saying things like, “At least when Eric and Cory went to college they were close by” making Josh feel even more guilty. Josh’s dad on the other hand was not crying, but he was too old to lift anything; so his job was to try to comfort his wife. Cory had only helped for fifteen minutes before going off to find lunch for two hours. Topanga was the only one really helping out, but he didn’t want to make her do too much work; so in the end Josh did most of the work himself. Due to everyone being so busy, it was clear they would have a lot to catch up on.

The subway slowed to a stop and Josh walked out of the automatic doors. If he was anywhere else in the city, it would have been a hectic Friday evening, but since the Matthews’ lived in Manhattan, the walk over was relatively peaceful. He passed by Topanga’s, the cafe his sister-in-law started recently. It amazed him that Topanga could be a lawyer and manage a business at the same time, although he had heard that Maya’s mom Katy was helping out.

Maya Hart. Josh had been nervous to come to dinner tonight as Maya practically lived at his brother’s apartment. It wasn’t that he didn’t like Maya, it was the fact that she liked him. In a ‘I-want-to-be-your-girlfriend’ type of way; and he didn’t exactly reciprocate the feeling. At least he was pretty sure he didn’t. But it didn’t really matter how he felt anyway, Maya was three years younger than him. He was starting his freshman year in college and she was a freshman in highschool. Josh likes to think he’s somewhat mature, so being around her really shouldn’t have been a problem. But Maya made it difficult to forget she had a crush on him. She refused to call him by his name and almost exclusively referred to him as ‘Uncle Boing’, was always glued to his side flirting with him, and had even called him her husband once. Oh, and that one little time she ruined his first chance to meet people at NYU by sneaking out and confessing her feelings to him in front of strangers. He had walked them home and felt humiliated, but they made up, and he was now friends with the strangers. Josh knew that she had probably matured since they had seen each other last, but he was still anxious about what she might do. He had been briefly filled in by Topanga that Riley, Maya, and Lucas were in some weird love triangle together though; which hopefully distracted her from Josh, despite how strange the idea of Maya and Lucas together sounded.

He reached the brownstone and pressed the buzzer, telling Auggie he was here; and walked up the stairs after the boy let him up.

“My brotha!” He yelled as he opened the door, pointing to Cory who was sitting on the couch playing with Auggie.

“My brotha!” Cory returned the gesture, standing to give his younger brother a hug, “How are ya?”

“Good, college hasn’t killed me yet” Josh patted Cory’s back and pulled away.

“Joshie!” Auggie jumped off the couch and Josh lifted him up on his shoulders like he usually did. He often hung out with Auggie when he came over, helping Cory and Topanga take a little break from taking care of him. Josh also just liked hanging out with his nephew in general, as he was pretty entertaining.

“Still with that little firecracker?” Josh asked Auggie,referring to his ‘girlfriend’ and neighbor Ava; as the little boy picked at the fuzz on the signature navy beanie Josh wore on top of his head.

“We’re married now” Auggie replied simply.

“Wow, I really did miss a lot” Josh joked as he set Auggie on the floor.

“You have no idea” Topanga said half-jokingly but with a sigh, obviously overwhelmed and tired with whatever drama was occurring in their lives. She set down the wooden spoon she was using to stir the pasta she was cooking to pull him into a warm and comforting hug.

“I passed by the bakery on my way here. How’s that going?” Josh asked, helping her put together the salad so she’d have less work to do.

“It’s great! Riley and her friends like to hang out there a lot. A lot of NYU and Columbia kids also eat and study there” Topanga drained the pasta, “Thanks for helping me with dinner. You just may be my favorite Matthews’ brother” she said, glaring at Cory.

“Hey, I’m the one you’re married to!” Cory complained.

“You’re also the one who never helps out with dinner” Topanga pointed out, finishing him with her usual check-mate style and smug grin.

“She’s right you know” Auggie said while playing with his toy train.

“Traitor!” Cory yelled with his usual level of immaturity.

“Thank you Auggie… But that doesn’t mean I’m going to push back your bedtime” Topanga began to stir the homemade tomato sauce into the pasta while Auggie sulked back to his dad in disappointment.

“Oh, so now you wanna love me” Cory rolled his eyes but continued to play with his son.

“Where’s Riley and Maya?” Josh asked, noticing their absence.

“Maya is actually having dinner with her Mom and Shawn” Cory said, obviously happy that Katy and Shawn were dating. Well, it was good she wasn’t here right? He wouldn’t have to deal with the fact she liked him and was able to have a nice night with his family. But a tiny bit of Josh was disappointed that she wouldn’t be around to crack jokes with.

“So Shawn’s serious about her?” he asked, returning to reality and proceeding to set the bowl of salad on the table.

“Very. I haven’t seen him this happy since Angela. His eyes just… light up” Topanga gushed. Josh was glad that Shawn was finding his happiness. He was just as much his brother as Cory was other than the fact they had different DNA. He was also happy that Maya might be getting a father. He knew how hard her father’s abandonment is on her, and he knew that because Shawn dealt with abandonment himself, he would never let Maya feel that way.

Josh was about to ask where Riley was again since they hadn’t told him, but she walked into the kitchen before he could. She had gotten taller and looked more mature than the last time he had seen her. Her chestnut brown hair was shorter and she was wearing it in it’s natural slightly poofy state. She also looked visibly stressed and…. Sad? It was weird thinking that she could be anything but ‘Smiley Riley’, but she was definitely missing that spark she usually had.

“Hi Uncle Josh” Riley greeted him and gave him a hug, “It’s been awhile.”

“Hey Riley, how’s the high school life treating you?” They sat down on the bench at the dinner table.

“Alright, I have the worst history teacher though” Riley teased and took a sip of her lemon water.

“Does my own family even love me anymore?!” Cory cried out while he took his place at the head of the table.

Topanga took a pan of garlic bread out of the oven and placed it on the table with the rest of the food. She sat Auggie down and began to dish him up.

“What’s it like going to NYU?” Riley inquired as she piled pasta on her plate.

“It’s definitely different from Philadelphia and high school in general. I lucked out with getting Andrew as my roommate though, so I have a better room than most freshmen and I don’t have to deal with a creepy roommate.” Somehow Andrew had pulled some strings and got housing to let them share a room despite the fact that they were in different  years.

“Did you join any fraternities?” Riley passed the bowl of pasta to him, her eyes lighting up at the thought of college greek life.

“No, frats are full of dou-” Josh realized Auggie was sitting across from him and tried to think of a non-inappropriate way of saying frat dudes were assholes, “-udes who make bad life decisions and aren’t… friend material” he let out a breath of relief. Cory and Topanga nodded in approval and continued eating.

“How do you like your classes? Is the women studies class any good?” Topanga questioned from the other side of the table. She had convinced him to sign up for women studies when he couldn’t decide on what classes to take.

“It’s actually pretty good. Although I’m pretty sure I’m one of the only guys in that class who isn’t taking it to get girls” Josh answered as he sprinkled some cheese on top of his spaghetti.

“Well I’m glad I raised you right” Topanga joked, but Josh had considered her a bit of a second mom; he had grown up with her and Cory taking care of him a lot of the time to prepare for kids of their own. When they did have Riley, the two would often play together at the Matthews’ house in Philly.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s statistically impossible to have you taking care of someone and them not becoming a feminist” Josh looked at Riley who smiled slightly before he continued, “Anyways, my photography class is pretty pretentious but fun; I’m fairly certain my psychology professor is a robot; and my architecture class is really interesting.”

“Ooooh! Mommy says I’m an architect too! I built a house with my legos” Auggie grinned, pronouncing the word as arch-e-tech-t, his face covered with tomato sauce. The four other Matthews’ let out a chorus of aw’s.

“Very impressive. You have to show me after dinner” Josh smiled and took a bite of the crunchy garlic bread.

“So Riley, how did you do on your Spanish test?” Topanga asked nervously. Josh knew that tone of voice, he’d heard it countless times from his own mom. Apparently Riley was not the best at Spanish.

“Well even though I studied all night and fell asleep in my cereal this morning, I only got a B-” Riley sighed with disappointment.

“That’s still good! I got F’s for 2 months straight in Spanish and I ended up getting A’s for the four years I took the class.” Josh reassured her.

“Don’t encourage her to fail Josh” Cory chastised, even though that wasn’t what Josh intended.

He was about to convey just that when Riley spoke, “It’s just that Maya is great at Spanish. She makes it on the fridge, and our teacher loves her. I bet she even knows how to conjugate the verb chewbacca in past and present tense” Riley nervously tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

Okay, ignoring the fact that chewbacca was a character in Star Wars and _definitely_ not a Spanish verb, it seemed Riley was jealous of Maya. From what he knew this wasn’t exactly a new thing. In middle school she often said she wanted to be just like her, a rebellious spirit who didn’t care about consequences. Someone who ‘doesn’t take nothing from no one’ as Riley had often described Maya. It didn’t seem like she was mad that Maya was doing well, but more like she wasn’t being helped out by Topanga or by Cory.

“I can always help you with Spanish if you want?” Josh offered.

“No, Maya already helps me” Riley pushed the food on her plate around. He was expecting her parents to comment on her odd mood, but they just continued on, asking Auggie how his day was and then discussing their own. Maybe it wasn’t that she wasn’t being helped but more like she wasn’t being acknowledged.

Josh thanked Topanga for the delicious dinner after it was done and went to play with Auggie in his room while Riley and Cory cleaned up the aftermath. He helped Auggie build some lego structures for the village he was creating.

“Ava is the president and I am her first lady” Auggie informed Josh.

“What am I?” He asked, still laughing at what Auggie had said.

“You are the ambassador of fun!” he announced.

“Did you just make that up right now?” Josh called him out playfully.

“Maybe” the boy shrugged and continued to play with his toys.

Ten minutes later Topanga called them out to play a round of cards. She obviously won, destroying everyone to the point where Cory almost flipped over the table in annoyance. Auggie joined in because he thought that’s what he was supposed to do, and Riley tried to mediate. Josh couldn’t help but laugh at the chaos in front of him.

Eventually they decided to stop before the apartment burned down and the parents announced it was time for Auggie to go to bed. Apparently their favorite show was on and it wasn’t exactly family friendly.

“Perfect! Josh you can hang out with me!” Riley exclaimed, practically dragging Josh out of the family room and into her bedroom. She sat down at her beloved bay window and looked at him expectantly.

Josh sat down hesitantly, “Am I in trouble?” He looked around, noticing that the bay window and her room in general had changed recently. It was more mature, and the wallpaper surrounding the window was torn down.

“No silly, we need to talk” Riley face him, her legs crossed.

“That doesn’t sound that much better you know”

“Talk as in catch up, talk about life” Riley elaborated.

“With me?” He noticed Riley frown so he quickly elaborated, “Not that I don’t want to it’s just… isn’t bay window talk more of a you and Maya thing?” Josh raised a brow in confusion.

“The bay window is for all my friends. And you’re my friend right?” Riley asked nervously.

“Of course” he answered.

“Well, sometimes I can’t talk about what I want to talk about with my school friends or with my parents. I need someone who isn’t involved to help me figure it out. I was hoping you could be that person” Riley asked.

This was weird. He was glad Riley wanted to spend more time with him but Riley had never felt like she couldn’t talk to her friends before. She and Maya talked about anything and everything together. If they were mad at each other, the two would be yelling in this window right now; and if it was too out of hand, Eric would be brought in like he was before. In fact, Maya should be here right now, trying to figure out why Riley seemed so sad. But at dinner Cory and Topanga didn’t seem to see anything wrong. Maybe Maya didn’t realize either?

Josh snapped out of his thoughts, “Talk away.”

“This is purely hypothetical okay?” Riley let out a deep sigh before talking.

“Gotcha” he said, knowing that this probably wasn’t hypothetical and had something to do with what was happening in her life.

“So this girl really likes this boy. And they are doing perfect. They make each other happy. But this girls’ friend starts liking him too. The girl wants both of them to be happy because she really cares about them. So she backs off but it starts killing her inside. And then their other friend tells everyone she still likes him. He doesn’t want to hurt them either but he can’t decide so he starts to date both of them. The girl’s friend doesn’t seem to notice how much it’s hurting the girl. What should the girl do?” Riley said anxiously, talking so fast that her words melted together. She stared at her fingers as if when she’d look up from them she died, and began fiddling with them.

“Does this have something to do with you, Maya, and Mr. Howdy?” Josh questioned.

Riley’s head snapped up and then she nodded sadly, “How’d you know?”

“Hypothetical situations are usually not hypothetical, especially when they’re so specific. Besides, Cory and Topanga briefly filled me in on it” Josh admitted.

“So what do you think should I do?” Riley stopped playing with her fingers.

“I honestly don’t know too much about the situation. Why don’t you talk me through from when Maya started to like Lucas?” Josh situated in order to get comfortable. This was going to take a while.

Riley nodded and began to explain that Lucas and Maya were voted best couple in the yearbook; and that Maya became Riley in order to bring her back from her ‘Morotia M. Black’ persona.

About a hour and a lot of questions later, Riley had finished explaining everything that happened in Texas. She let him have a moment to process everything, which was good because Josh was confused for several reasons. One, it was difficult to keep everyone’s feelings for one another straight, although emotions were never easy to understand. He couldn’t understand how Maya went from obsessing over him and then to liking his niece’s kind of boyfriend. Not that he had a huge ego, or was upset that she was moving on; because there wasn’t really anything _to_ move on from.

“I don’t know if I ever want to go to Texas after this” Josh finally said, trying to cheer up Riley. She let out a soft laugh and a small smile at his joke. His niece was about to continue when Cory’s head popped in from the door.

“Hey, it’s 9:30, I’m sure you’ve talked Josh’s ear off long enough” Cory told Riley as he walked into her room. His daughter frowned, she hadn’t even gotten any advice.

“Actually, I’m having a nice time catching up. If it’s okay with you I was thinking of spending the night?” Josh asked.

Cory’s eyebrows widened in surprise, “Um, sure. If that’s what you want?” he gave a look as if Riley was forcing him to stay.

“Yup, couldn’t think of anything I’d rather do” Josh nodded, smiling at Riley.

“You’re a college student and it’s Friday night. Don’t you want to go to a party or sleep?!” Cory deadpanned.

“Dad!” Riley rose her voice in annoyance, “Josh says he wants to stay.”

“Alright, alright. I’ve got some pajama bottoms you can borrow” Cory faced Josh, noting that the t-shirt his brother currently wore would be fine for sleep; but his jeans would not.

“Thanks” Josh said as he followed him out of Riley’s room and into the room he and Topanga shared. The latter was not in the room, but he heard the shower running in the master bathroom. He watched Cory fish through his extremely disorganized drawers. His brother’s messy tendencies probably annoyed Topanga to insanity.  Josh was currently deciding whether or not to say something about Riley’s behavior. On one hand, he wanted to help her; on the other, he didn’t want to come off as judgemental towards Cory and Topanga’s parenting. No, if he offended them they could get over it. The world needed a Riley and she wasn’t herself.

“Have you noticed that Riley’s acting different?” Josh finally said.

“What? No. Riley’s the same person she’s always been” Cory shook his head and continued to examine his clothes.

“Is she? Because to me she seems sad. Ignored” His brother dropped the sweatpants in his hands.

“Excuse me?” Cory stood up.

“She’s definitely not the same Smiley Riley I saw last time” Josh shook his head.

“People grow up, Josh. She has new friends and people in her life. It’s the secret of life. People change people” Cory wore both his teacher hat and his defensive armor at the same time.

“No, not like this. Riley has and always will be a positive person. But right now all those smiles aren’t real. They’re for show. Trust me, I would know” Josh stuffed his hands in his pockets, trying to repress the memories of his own rough years in high school.

“She’s fine. I would know, I’ve been with her everyday and she says she’s fine” Cory dismissed him and continued to find pants.

“Exactly. You haven’t been able to see that she’s changed because you’ve been with her everyday. This sort of stuff doesn’t just happen on the spot, especially to someone strong like Riley. It’s gradual. But to me, it’s almost a complete 180 since I saw her last.”  Josh gulped as an awkward silence settled over them.

“What did you mean by ‘ignored’?” Cory finally broke the silence, hurt laced in his voice.

“Cory, she’s talking to me because she feels like she can’t talk to you or her friends. I think she feels like you’ll dismiss her problems”

“Kind of like I’m doing right now” Cory realized, and Josh gave a sullen nod.

“You should talk to her before it gets bad” He took the pants Cory was holding out for him.

“I’ll do it tomorrow. I think she needs to talk to you first. Besides, I have a lot to think about” Cory sighed.

“Cory, you’re still a great dad. That’s not why I brought it up” Josh said, noticing his defeated tone.

“Of course you weren’t… Just because we’re ‘Cory and Topanga, America’s sweethearts’ we aren’t perfect and we can be wrong. Riley and Auggie come first, before my own need to always be right” Cory stated.

“My brotha?” Josh asked.

“My brotha” Cory nodded and pulled him in for a hug. They held it for a few more moments before they broke apart and his brother spoke again, “I’m kinda surprised that you were the one who noticed though.”

Josh chuckled lightly, “Why do you say that?”

“I dunno… you’ve always been the oblivious one” Cory shrugged.

“Me? Please, I’m the one who who figures stuff out. Plus, I’m not the one who cared more about making out with my girlfriend when my brother was dying” Josh teased, reminding him of when Cory had been so obsessed with creating the perfect Valentine’s day when Josh was born.

“You need to stop bringing that up every time you’re mad at me! Besides, that’s not exactly how it went down” Cory crossed his arms, but he wasn’t actually angry.

“Why don’t we just agree that all of the Matthews’ boys are idiots?” Topanga said as she emerged from the bathroom in her pajamas. Josh hadn’t even noticed the shower turn off.

“I’m not an idiot, I’m a teacher!” Cory pouted.

“Oh please, you just relate whatever life lesson the kids need to be taught to a historical event. At least Feeny gave us homework and tests” Topanga poked fun at her husband.

Before Cory could fight back Josh interrupted, “I’m gonna go change. Goodnight you two.” The couple said goodnight to him and Josh headed to the bathroom in the hall to change, hearing them yelling at each other behind him.

He emerged from the bathroom a few moments later, still dressed in his Nirvana t-shirt, but was now wearing the green flannel pajama pants Cory gave him. He ran his hands through his slightly wavy hair, feeling a bit strange now that he wasn’t wearing his signature beanie. Josh walked down the hall to Riley’s room and with the hand not holding his jeans, he knocked on the wooden door.

“Hey, thought you disappeared on me” Riley smiled smally and stepped out of the way so Josh could come inside. She was dressed in a heathered purple t-shirt and bright blue pajama pants with a cat pattern. Her hair was also now in a messy ponytail instead of down.

“Yeah, sorry about that, we lost track of time. But I’m ready to talk some more… at least I think I am” Josh followed her into the room.

“Well I brought some snacks, so hopefully that will help”  Riley gestured to the big bowl of popcorn, sour candy, and chocolate that was now laid out on her bed. He wasn’t sure how they could both consume that much, but then again they were both teenagers.

“How do you even have this much food?” Josh laughed and sat down on her bed after she patted the spot next to her.

“I like to be prepared. Besides, candy is an important factor to keeping Rileytown up and running” Riley smiled and tossed some popcorn in the air and attempted to catch it with her mouth; but, as expected, the kernels fell on her face and around the bed.

“Nice one” Josh chuckled and took a blue raspberry gummy worm and bit off the head.

“You just killed him!” Riley gasped, her face full of horror.

“Gummy worms aren’t people” Josh said and continued to eat the sour candy.

“Duh, they’re worms. And he had a whole life in front him! He never had the chance to find love” Riley said in a sad voice.

“You’re the one who gave me a bowl of gummy worms. How am I supposed to eat them?” Josh defended himself and tried to be serious, but his smile broke out. This adorable goofiness was a sign that the real Riley was still there.

“Eat everything but the head. Farkle told me that worms can regrow their bodies” Riley said very matter-of-factly, “And you’re the one in college” she scoffed playfully.

“Oh yeah, you’re a real pacifist” Josh rolled his eyes, “Now tell me more about this ‘triangle’ before we argue more about ethical ways to eat personified food.”

Riley took a deep sigh before continuing to recount the past year, when Farkle told everyone she still likes Lucas- Josh was kind of glad he wasn’t there for that drama, and graduation. He thought the ‘equal treatment’ thing was strange, especially because it was almost always Maya being ignored. If Lucas really liked both of them, he wouldn’t need to be reminded to give them attention; and both of them deserved to have someone who cares about them and only them. But then again, as Riley kept on telling Josh what had happened, it was more and more apparent that Lucas really only liked Riley, and didn’t want to hurt Maya’s feelings.

It was 11:30 by now and they were still talking, but she was telling him about their first day at highschool, so he would be all caught up soon.

“And then she said ‘I’m in the triangle with this?’ and-”

“What?” Josh interrupted.

“She said, ‘I’m in the triangle with this?’” Riley repeated.

“I heard you the first time it’s just…  You guys are the best friends I’ve ever seen. Why would she say that?” Josh asked, readjusting his position.

“I dunno. She’s been saying little stuff like that a lot lately. I thought it was just Maya being Maya” Riley shrugged and let out a yawn while pulling the blankets over them closer.

“Is Maya really even Maya right now?” Josh wondered out loud.

“What do you mean?” Riley’s eyebrows shot up.

“To be honest, I’m not totally sure yet” Josh admitted.

What he did know was that Maya and Riley’s friendship was being hurt because of this stupid triangle, and their friendship was also the only reason it was still happening.

Riley continued to talk about how Lucas and her got into a fight, and the friends broke apart for a bit before making up.

“So we both still like him. What do I do?” Riley asked.

Josh thought for a minute and then replied, “This probably isn’t what you want to hear, but I don’t know how much you can do. I think Maya needs to figure out how she feels and Lucas needs to make up his mind. Even though I think he already has.”

“Oooh! Who’d he pick?!” Riley smiled.

Josh laughed, “I can’t say for sure. But you should talk to Maya about all of this. She needs to know that this is hurting you.”

“I can’t. The extent of our triangle talk is: ‘Do you still like him?’ ‘Yes, do you?’ ‘Yes’” Riley shook her head.

“Seriously? Listen, you guys are best friends. Some stupid western hero from Texas shouldn’t come between you two. Talk to her about it” Josh advised. Riley thought for a bit before speaking up again.

“Thanks for listening to me Uncle Josh, I really appreciate it” Riley smiled.

“Of course” he returned the gesture and she pulled him in for a quick hug.

“Now, is there anything you need to talk about?” Riley asked.

“I think I’ve reached my quota for advice and life talk for the day” Josh chuckled and shook his head.

“Okay well let’s just talk about whatever then” Riley suggested.

“Sure” Josh nodded.

The two talked for another hour before they both fell asleep talking about somehow both intersectional feminism and the pros and cons of bunny farming.

\--------

Josh Matthews had gotten pretty used to being rudely awakened. The Matthews’ house was always pretty loud even with just Morgan, much to his parent’s chagrin. College wasn’t very peaceful either, he was usually woken up by Andrew getting ready or something crazy going on outside. That being said, Josh Matthews was _not_ very used to talking all night long and having to figure out over a year’s worth of stuff, and _then_ being rudely awakened. Especially not by a screaming girl who climbs in from a bay window.

“Riley Matthews why is there a boy in your bed?!” he heard the girl yell and buried his head face first into his pillow and groaned.

“Peaches what are you talking about?” Riley mumbled next to him.

“There is a boy in your bed!” the girl freaked out. Josh heard running footsteps and the bedroom door slam open.

“Boy?! BOY!” Cory yelled in horror. Josh heard footsteps approach him and felt the covers fly off his body. He twisted to face whoever did it and yell at them, and found him staring at bright blue eyes and golden hair.

“Why is Uncle Boing in your bed?” Maya asked Riley, though she kept her gaze on Josh.

“He stayed the night and we fell asleep talking” Riley stated, coming out from under the covers, dried drool all over her mouth.

“Maya, I know I just woke up and look super rough but you can stop staring at me” Josh sighed, running a hand through his messy bed head.

“That’s not why I was looking at you” Maya shook her head.

“Yeah why were you looking at him?” Cory said with a mischievous grin, and Josh and Maya both sent him a glare. “Yikes okay. I was coming in here anyways to tell you that breakfast is almost ready” Cory announced before turning and leaving the room.

“Maya what were you going to say?” Riley asked, now sitting cross legged on her bed.

“I… I was looking at you because I forgot you even existed! You’ve been gone for so long. Yeah that’s it” Maya nodded and looked away from him.

“Sure” Josh nodded and stretched in bed.

“C’mon Riles let’s go” Maya grabbed Riley’s hand and practically dragged her out of the room.

Josh took the opportunity to change back into his jeans and stuck his beanie in the back pocket before coming out to join them.

“Morning Joshie!” Auggie exclaimed happily from the dinner table. Everyone else had sat down already except for Topanga, who was finishing putting the breakfast on the table. The only open spot was next to Maya. Great. He looked at her again and noticed she was dressed an awful lot like Riley. Instead of her usual flannels, leather jackets, and graphic-tees; she was wearing the similar style of bohemian and florals that Riley often wore.

“Next time you sleepover you better not keep my daughter up that late” Topanga interrupted his thoughts in a half-joking tone as she set down the plate of pancakes and then took her seat next to Auggie.

“Sorry, we had a lot to catch up on” Josh apologized and poured himself some orange juice.

“Catch up on?” Maya raised her brows.

“Yeah, you said it yourself, I’ve been gone so long you forgot I existed, remember?” Josh answered, coming out more bitter than he intended. Maya didn’t respond, which was very out of character. A few minutes laters she started to chat to Riley about some tv show they watched while Cory and Topanga made plans for the day.

When the six finished breakfast, Topanga turned to Auggie, “Sweetie why don’t you go play with your toys in your room?” Auggie pouted a little but thanked them for breakfast and bounded off to his room. The rest of them watched him leave and heard his bedroom door shut.

“Riley we need to talk to you” Cory said, shooting Josh a look. They must want to talk about what Josh told him last night.

“Am I in trouble?” Riley asked nervously.

“No, but it’s important” Topanga took a long sip of her coffee, “But we were hoping it would be private” she looked at Josh and Maya. Josh nodded but Maya furrowed her brows in anger.

“Riley and I are practically the same person. I should be here to support her” Maya protested.

“Yeah, you can say whatever you were going to say to me in front of Maya” Riley smiled at her best friend and took her hand.

“You two can talk after” Topanga insisted in a way that even Maya knew she couldn’t fight back.

“Well what am I supposed to do with myself while you guys are talking?” Maya pouted.

“I actually have to talk to you” Josh spoke up.

Maya whipped around and raised her brows in surprise, “Wittle ol’ me?”

“Yes, you. Bay window time, or whatever you guys say” Josh got up from the bench.

“You’re not even trying” Maya rolled her eyes but followed him into Riley’s room anyways, closing the door behind them.

“Listen if you’re going to confess your love for me it’s a little too late Boing” Maya sat down in her usual spot.

“Is that right?” Josh turned his and furrowed his eyebrows skeptically.

“Wait are you actually confessing your love?” Maya checked, and and Josh shook his head no, “Good, because I like Huckleberry now.”

“Wait I thought you liked Lucas?” Josh blinked in confusion.

“That is Lucas. You’re not the only one with a nickname. In fact, I think I should call you Joshua Gabriel just to establish our new dynamic- just friends” Maya rambled.

“We were always just friends. But I do want to talk about Lucas” Josh prayed that he wouldn’t actually call him Joshua Gabriel.

“Don’t tell me you like him too?” Maya groaned.

“Maya stop joking” Josh said seriously, ruining the amusing atmosphere.

“Fine” Maya’s whole demeanor changed.

“Why do you like him?” Josh asked.

“I don’t know, I just do” Maya shrugged.

“If you liked him you would know”

“I…. I like that he’s adventurous and reckless, I like that he cares deeply for his friends. I like that he puts up with my jokes and names… With him I feel like I can go and just do things on impulse” Maya answered, staring at her shoes.

“Really? Because last time I saw him he said he wouldn’t even try calling his mom ‘Ma’” Josh pointed out.

“What are you trying to do here Josh?” she looked up from the ground to him.

“This triangle is hurting your friendship with Riley, and-”

“No, you’re wrong. We’re Riley and Maya. Honey and Peaches. Thunder, lightning, ring power, the whole shebang. A friendship like ours is forever” Maya shook her head passionately.

“It shouldn’t end and it won’t. But that doesn’t mean it can’t have troubles. This whole thing is hurting Riley, she feels like she can’t trust you as much anymore” Josh felt horrible for saying it. A part of him was screaming ‘this is stupid and wrong, abandon ship while you still can!’; but the other kept reminding him that this was important.

“You’re a liar. Riley trusts me. She would tell me if she was hurt” Maya’s eyes began to glisten with tears.

“Riley’s also the one who stepped back and called Lucas her brother for you. She lied about her feelings just to make you happy. Seeing you like this wouldn’t make her happy. It doesn’t make anyone happy Maya” Josh wanted to reach out and comfort her, but she would probably just slap his hand away.

“Then why the hell are you telling me this?” Maya rose her voice.

“I just… This triangle needs to end so everyone can be happier and I… I don’t think you really like Lucas” Josh sighed. No turning back now.

“What do you mean?”

Josh took a deep breath, “Maybe you felt rejected by a certain someone. Fuck it, maybe you felt rejected by me. You confessed your feelings and I didn’t- don’t reciprocate them. And Riley and Lucas were happy. He’s a great guy and he would never hurt you or anyone he cares about. Maybe you wanted something like that. _Someone_ like that. You want someone who will love you and care about you and only you. You deserve that. But… I think you lost yourself trying to find it. You became Riley because she has so many people in her life who love and support her. You started dressing like her and Cory doesn’t even call me every week to yell about the trouble you cause in class anymore. But you should be loved because you’re you, and I don’t think _you_ , the _true_ Maya; likes Lucas that way.”

The room stayed silent for a minute, Josh was pretty sure his heart was about to explode because of how nervous he was.

Maya stood up suddenly, “You don’t get to just waltz back into my life and think you’ve got everything figured out because you don’t. I wouldn’t just like Lucas because-” Maya shook her head, “God you are such an egotistical ass! Just because I thought we could at least become good friends and then you just left doesn’t mean that- You’re not that important to me Josh, you don’t affect me that much.”

Josh forgot how to breathe for a second. Because yeah, he didn’t want to be in a relationship with her and he didn’t love her but… For her to say that he wasn’t important to her…

He looked up to see a quick flash of regret in her eyes before her angry blue eyes returned, reminding Josh of a relentless hurricane.

“Maya, that’s not what I meant” Josh stood up too.

“I don’t care what you meant. This is the real me now Josh. People change people. Riley and my friends changed me. You haven’t been around enough to change me the way you think you did, and you won’t ever be. Don’t talk to me again” Maya roughly rubbed away the tears rolling down her cheeks and escaped out of the bay window, leaving Josh to think to himself.

His thoughts consisted of ‘I just fucked everything up’ on a continuous loop.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for all of the feedback and kudos on the last chapter! hopefully you enjoy this chapter too. the povs aren't going to switch that often between maya and josh but i felt like we needed to see how maya was feeling about the fight. i definitely intend to continue this fic, although i must warn that it might be a little while as i have to finish summer homework and i start school soon.

Stupid Josh Matthews and his stupid face and stupid opinions. It’s been a week since their fight and his words managed to occupy her thoughts every waking moment. He just _had_ to ruin everything. Maya thought she was getting over Josh and had moved onto Lucas, but just seeing him stirred up all her old feelings. Besides, he somehow got even hotter; which was really not fair at all. Still, she was a strong fierce woman who was sure of herself. She knew she liked Lucas. That was until Josh said she didn’t. That she wasn’t even herself. That she was hurting Riley. She found herself overanalyzing every interaction with her friends and herself in general, which was a little too ‘Matthews’ for her liking.

 _'This whole thing is hurting Riley, she feels like she can’t trust you as much anymore'_ when Josh had first said it, she immediately shut down the notion, but she started to notice little differences in Riley. When Maya had come back to the apartment later that evening, Riley wouldn’t even tell her what she and her parents talked about, just that it went well. But then again, she didn’t tell Riley what her and Josh talked about _either_ , just that they fought and she never wanted to talk to him again. Apparently Josh had already implied that they had a huge fight when he left, plus Riley probably heard her yelling at him. Maya began to see that Riley’s smiles were smaller, and reminded her of her own when she was younger. Meaning that it was just for show, just so that she assure everyone she was fine.

 _‘I don’t think you really like Lucas’_. Okay, Maya had never really been sure why she liked Lucas, or when it happened but she was pretty sure she likes him. She wouldn’t start a triangle in the first place if that was the case. When she walked into biology class on Monday, she was excited. This was the one class where she and Lucas had time alone. But because of stupid Josh and their stupid talk, she started to notice that Lucas kept on getting annoyed at all her flirtatious teasing. Not that he wasn’t usually annoyed, but she usually figured it was playful annoyance, light hearted, like when she bantered with Josh. No, he was rolling his eyes and clenching his jaws.

_“What’s wrong Ranger Rick? I thought you like when I joke around?” she asked._

_“Not when all we talk about is how I’m a ‘bushland redneck who loves sweet tea and my cousin’” Lucas crossed his arms._

_“Hey I said cousin_ **_once removed_ ** _, there’s a difference. Although I guess you couldn’t retain that information from falling off a bull so many times when you were a kid” Maya smiled._

_“There you go again. You keep on crossing the line. When are you and I going to have a good conversation? One where you don’t insult me and I feel like I can tell you anything” Lucas sighed before continuing his notes on punnett squares._

_“You feel like you can’t tell me anything?” Maya asked, hurt evident on her face._

_“Not without you using it as some joke against me or I dunno, twisting my words to throw me under the bus?” He raised an accusatory brow._

_“Are you still holding the class president election over my head? I didn’t even end up doing it” Maya rolled her eyes._

_“Because Riley stopped you. Maya, you’re one of my best friends, but sometimes I feel like you don’t act like it.”_

Lucas had a bit of tendency to bottle things up and then explode later.

So yeah, it was safe to say that she and Lucas were shaky at the moment.

And how could Maya forget the fact that Josh said she wasn’t even _herself_ anymore. That was the main thing on her mind this past week. She looked at her closet the Sunday morning after their fight and it looked like Riley had moved into her small, cheap apartment. Maya would never wear floral sundresses, but she found five of them, and vaguely remembered that she had indeed worn them. She noticed that she hadn’t even worn some of her favorite clothes in months. _‘Cory doesn’t even call me every week to yell about the trouble you cause in class anymore.’_ This was also true, and even though it was admittedly okay to be doing well in school, it was very un-Maya-like to not cause a riot and make Mr. Matthews mad at least once a week. She felt like she was losing her edge and who she was, but there was no way in hell she’d talk to her friends about it. Maya didn’t want them worrying about her or have another person ‘figure it all out’ and tell her what's wrong. She was afraid Riley would hate her or that the triangle would end and she would yet again feel unloved and abandoned. But everyone was noticing she was acting a bit off lately and it was only a matter of time before one of them figured it out.

But instead of moping around on a Friday night like she _felt_ like doing, she was currently walking in Manhattan to Riley’s apartment to hang out with her friends. All of them. Maya knew that with her luck, something was bound to happen. Maybe she did want them to know after all, she wasn’t getting anywhere by herself. No, the whole reason she’s having this crisis is because someone told her how she feels. A voice that sounded a lot like Josh said, ‘Maybe that’s because you need to be reminded about who you are’.

“Oh shut up Matthews” She groaned aloud.

“Hey I’m just trying to let you into my apartment!” Riley responded from the speaker box. Maya hadn’t even realized that she had called the apartment. She had been thinking so much that she wasn’t aware of her actions lately. Maya preferred not thinking and not being aware of her actions thank you very much. It was way more fun that way.

“Sorry, be up in a minute!” She yelled and bounded up the stairs to apartment 26.

When she walked in she saw that Lucas, Zay, Smackle, and Farkle were already there sitting around the coffee table. Riley and Lucas were sitting next to each other on the couch laughing about something, but instantly stopped when Maya came in. She knew they weren’t laughing about her, but the fact that they were able to smile and laugh and she and Lucas kept on fighting felt horrible.  She felt the hurt rise up in her chest but repressed it before she could react further.

“So what are we up to tonight?” Maya asked, sitting on the other side of Lucas.

“Watch the horror movie we tried to watch last month, y’know the one where you two were fighting over Lucas?” Zay said, not even trying to hide his annoyance over the triangle.

“I had never been kicked out of an establishment until that night. It was very exciting” Smackle pitched in.

“We were _not_ fighting over Lucas” Riley rolled her eyes.

“Oh yeah?” Farkle raised a brow, “‘Oh Lucas, let’s get the popcorn together!’ ‘Riley stop getting so scared and hiding behind Lucas!’ ” he did an awful shrill impersonation of a girl’s voice.

Maya grabbed his shirt by his collar, “I do not sound like that” she glared. Farkle just shrugged and backed away.

“Who cares, this triangle needs to end” Zay faced Lucas, “Make a decision man!”

Lucas opened his mouth to speak but Riley interrupted him, “No, I just had a super stressful Spanish test today and I want to relax. Right now is not the time for some life changing decision to be made” She shook her head. Farkle sighed and crossed his arms.

Just then Auggie ran out from his room and stood by the couch, “I’m bored!” he declared.

“Sorry Auggie, this movie is too scary for kids” Riley said softly.

“You’re not a very good babysitter” Auggie remarked, and Riley let out an over-exaggerated, but genuine gasp.

“Wait your parents aren’t here?” Maya asked.

“Yeah, they wanted to go on a date so I’m taking care of him” Riley replied.

“Not doing a very good job” Auggie complained in a sing-song voice.

“Are you sure we’re supposed to be here?” Lucas questioned nervously.

“C’mon ‘moral compass’ are you actually worried about Mr. Matthews?” Maya laughed.

“No, but no offense Riley, your mom can be really scary when someone upsets her” Riley and Auggie nodded in agreement.

“Technically they don’t know, but we aren’t doing anything bad right?” Riley fiddled with her fingers.

“Riley, are you actually doing something rebellious?” Maya asked with excitement, “I’m so proud” she smiled and hugged Riley.

“You know…” Auggie smiled mischievously in his sister’s direction.

“Oh boy” Riley sighed worriedly.

“I think I want to play a board game with you guys. And if you don’t play with me I can tell Mommy and Daddy that your boyfriend was here” Auggie said proudly.

“Oh no, not another game night. I don’t think I can handle that again” Lucas was still haunted over the last game night he had in this apartment.

“Hey, he’s _our_ boyfriend” Maya corrected.

“That’s weird” Auggie made a face.

“See, even the little kid thinks you guys should end this” Zay threw his hands up.

“I’m not a little kid. Next week I’m turning this many!” Auggie held up seven fingers.

Riley let out a sigh, “What game do you want to play Auggie?” She put an arm around him.

“The friends game!”

“But you need partners for that one” Riley shook her head.

“Mommy taught me how to use the phone last week in case of emergency. I’m pretty sure _strangers_ in the house count as an emergency” Auggie looked pointedly at Farkle, Zay, Lucas,  and Smackle when he said strangers.

“I’ve known you since you were born!” Farkle shouted, betrayed.

“Okay, okay, we’ll play the friend’s game. Why don’t you go get Ava and bring her over?” Riley suggested.

“Can’t. She’s not home this weekend” Auggie shook his head.

“We require one more person to be able play the game correctly” Smackle said.

“Yeah, and how are we gonna do this?” Lucas gestured at himself, Riley, and Maya.

“That’s easy, Riles and I will be partners and you and be Zay’s” Maya moved next to Riley and sat cross legged on the couch. He was so clueless sometimes.

“Alright what about Auggie?” Lucas asked.

Riley looked at Maya and smiled, “I think I have someone in mind” she pulled out her phone and texted someone.

“I don’t like that look Riley. That’s your scheming face. And you’re not a fun schemer. You’re a ‘let’s fix everything’ schemer” Maya shook her head, “You better not be inviting Back of the Class Brenda- I didn’t mean it!”

“Yeah, please don’t. She keeps messaging me and asking if Farkle and I are dating” Lucas grimaced.

“Sorry, you’re not my type, even though I must regretfully admit that even by mathematical standards you’re face is perfect” Farkle sighed.

“I agree” Smackle said dreamily.

“Smackle!” Farkle yelled.

“Hey you said it first” Smackle pointed out.

“Okay, they should be over soon!” Riley announced and put her phone back.

In the meantime, they six friends-plus Auggie, talked about their week which put Maya on edge again. It was another chance for one of them to figure out she was off, that her world was falling down right beneath her. She usually was invested in their conversations, always quick to make a joke or put her opinion in. Instead she barely answered and got very quiet when Zay asked how she and Lucas did on the biology quiz. It didn’t help that she was getting anxious over who Riley invited. Maya wasn’t the type to enjoy surprises, at least not receiving them.

Just then the front door swung open to reveal a panting Josh Matthews, a sight that she’d like to see in any other situation, just not when she was mad at him. She knew that Riley invited him so that he and Maya would make up, but that was not going to happen. He was dressed in a white band t-shirt and a green flannel rolled up to his elbows, which confused her emotions of attraction and anger even more.

“What’s wrong? Who’s hurt? Is it Cory?” Josh asked, looking around the room, noticing he wasn’t there.

“No” Riley shook her head.

“Topanga?”

“No”

Josh scanned the room again, “The kid with the turtleneck is missing?”

“That’s me actually” Farkle raised his hand.

Josh did a double take, “Oh well.. Congrats? Riley can you just tell me why you texted me ‘Emergency come over now!!!?” he read the text off of his phone and then looked back to his niece.

“Well, the thing is…” Riley trailed off.

“Is there no emergency?! Riley I was studying for my psychology exam and I _ran_ all the way over!” Josh yelled.

“Who studies on a Friday night?” Maya laughed and saw that Smackle was opening her mouth to speak, “Besides you two” she pointed to her and Farkle.

“This exam is on Monday and worth a lot of my grade. And college is a lot harder than high school” Josh replied.

“That’s it, I’m not going to college if you have to do school work on weekends” Zay remarked.

“Do you not do schoolwork on weekends now?” Riley asked and he shook his head ‘no’.

“You’re going to college Zay” Lucas rolled his eyes.

“Funny, I have this same conversation with Riley” Maya smiled.

“You know, being intelligent just makes a person 10 times more attractive” Smackle stated, blatantly checking Josh out.

“Thanks?” Josh said, not really sure how he should react to the compliment.

“Smackle!” Farkle yelled for the second time that night.

“C’mon look at him!” Smackle gestured towards Josh.

Farkle was now the one looking the college student up and down, “Yeah I guess you’re right.”

“Of course I am. Plus I was also complimenting you. You are the second smartest person in the room after all” Smackle gushed.

“Aw, thank you former arch-nemesis and current love archisis” Farkle put an arm around her and Maya could practically hear Riley’s hopeless romantic side cooing beside her.

“Okay now that I’ve been checked out twice and officially confused; Maya, is our no-talking thing over with?” Josh asked. It was way more than just a ‘thing’ to Maya. Sure, she might have overreacted a bit, but it felt like she had invalidated all of her feelings _and_ herself in one fell swoop. She didn’t want a half-assed apology, and she also didn’t want him to confuse her even more.

“No” she glared and turned her attention away from him.

“Well then can we talk so that it _is_ over?” Josh pleaded.

“Nope” Maya popped the ‘p’ and pretended to be looking at her nails.

“You do realize that you’re talking to me right now, right?” Josh smirked, making her blood boil.

“Does anyone else hear that? It sounds like a voice of someone who is unwanted” Maya faced the group.

“Funny. If there isn’t an actual emergency I’ll be going now” Josh turned to the door.

“Uncle Josh, wait!” Riley stopped him, “We need you to play games with us”

Josh turned around and took a deep breath before speaking, “You called me over to _play_ _board games_?”

“I’m technically not supposed to have my friends over and Auggie is blackmailing me so that we play with him” Riley informed and then realized how silly she sounded.

“When did you get so manipulative” Josh turned to his nephew, “Oh wait, I forgot that you’re married to Ava.”

“Josh you said you’d never rat me out right?” Riley begged.

“Yeah, but contrary to popular belief I’m not actually Auggie”

“Please Joshie?” Auggie asked with puppy dog eyes.

“Fine. But I’ll only play for a bit” he sighed, unable to resist his nephews cuteness and Riley thanked him, “Yeah, yeah, but only text me ‘emergency’ when there is actually one okay?” Riley nodded.

Auggie and Josh partnered up and sat next to each other while Riley explained the rules.

“What happens if you play the long game?” Zay asked. Josh’s eyes instantly snapped up to meet Maya’s gaze before they broke it a few seconds later.

“No! Do not play the long game, I still have nightmares about it” Lucas warned.

After they read the rules they realized it was pretty much the same thing as the ‘family game’ but it was centered around friendship and how well the partners knew each other. The high schoolers were fighting over who would win while Josh and Auggie watched in amusement.

“We’re obviously going to win” Maya said, “Riley and I are the best friends in the world.”

\--------

The group was about half way through the game and Riley and Maya were winning as predicted, although the other teams weren’t that far behind. And as usual, Riley was now half-human half-popcorn.

“Alright Maya, what is my favorite album?” Riley turned to her, reading off the card.

“That’s easy, Born to Die by Lana del Rey” Maya shrugged, beginning to roll the dice to move forward.

“No, it’s Electra Heart by Marina and the Diamonds” Riley shook her head.

“What? No, Riles it’s Born to Die. We listened to it all summer” Maya said but Riley shook her head ‘no’ again. How are they supposed to be best friends if she didn’t even know her favorite music? Or, in the words of Josh, ‘not as close anymore’.

“I’m using my switch card” Riley declared.

“What?!” Maya yelled in disbelief.

“According to the game I can switch to a different team if my partner gets a question wrong” Riley explained.

“Yeah I know that, but it’s supposed to be if your partner sucks. That was one question, and we’re winning!” Maya threw her hands up in the air.

“I’m moving to Auggie’s team, Josh you can be Maya’s partner now” Riley smiled and got up to move. Of course. She was doing this so they would ‘magically’ make up. Maya should’ve expected that Riley would do more than just invite him, she hates conflict; especially when the people fighting are her favorite people. That being said, she really didn’t want to have to sit next to him, talk to him, or have to answer any questions about his life. And she _especially_ didn’t want him to answer any about hers. She’d heard enough about that from him.

“Bay window. Bay window right now” Maya growled in annoyance.

“Maya, we’re in the middle of a game, can it wait?” Riley brushed her off.

“Ring power” Maya put up her hand to show off her thunder ring.

“Foiled again” Riley pouted and followed Maya to the bay window in the living room.

“I am _not_ playing with Josh” she angrily whispered once they sat down.

“You know what’s interesting? We can still hear you” Zay quipped from the couch, but the two girls ignored him.

“C’mon your fight couldn’t have been _that_ bad. And you don't actually have to make up right now” Riley reminded her.

“Believe me it was bad. Plus I know you, you’re gonna do another thing just so that we make up. Let me tell you right now that it’s not worth it” Maya said.

“What did you do?” Riley addressed Josh.

“Oh sorry, I thought you were having a private conversation still” Josh said sarcastically.

“It doesn’t matter what he said. You should just accept that I don’t want to play with that jerk”

“Wow you know, I’ve had enough love and compassion for one night, I think I’m going to head out” Josh got up but Riley gave him a look that told him to sit down, “Fine... Man, I really  need to stop being the cool uncle” he said to himself.

“Can you just switch so we can get this over with?!” Lucas cried out.

“Oh, so you don’t like being my partner huh?” Zay asked with faux anger.

“Are you kidding, you’re one of the only sane people here! Farkle and Smackle won’t stop cuddling,” Maya looked and noticed that they were snuggled up together, which was pretty cute, “and Riley and Maya are fighting. I think I need a lot of proof to be convinced that the world hasn’t turned upside down recently” Lucas complained.

“Are you jealous that I actually have a stable relationship?” Farkle asked, “This is great!”

“Jealous of you?” Lucas scoffed.

“If you are, we’ll be happy to include you in our relationship” Smackle offered giddily.

“You know what, it’s not even worth saying it this time” Farkle let out an exasperated sigh.

Meanwhile, Maya was still opposed to being partnered up with Josh.

“It’s the rules!” Riley shouted.

“Yeah, and I’m a firm believer in the philosophy that rules are meant to be broken” Maya said matter-of-factly.

“Maya, that’s just gonna hurt you in the long run. Trust me, I would know” Lucas twisted his body to face the bay window where they sat.

“We’re playing a board game” Maya deadpanned.

“Exactly, so just play with him, there’s only 15-20 minutes left of the game anyways!” Riley said.

“You’re lucky I love you” Maya sighed before walking over to the floor where Auggie and Josh sat, “Scram kid” she addressed Auggie.

“Geez, learn some manners!” he complained before he jumped onto the couch next to Riley’s spot.

“So, how are we gonna do this if we can’t talk to each other” Josh asked Maya, leaning back on his palms.

“We talk only when we have to answer a question about each other or if it’s absolutely necessary” Maya declared.

“What if I think it’s necessary that we talk about our fight and make up?” Josh inquired.

“Necessary to the game” Maya clarified. A slight smirk spread over his face before it disappeared. “Otherwise don’t look at me, listen to me, or even _think_ about me, got it?”

“A bit much, but sure” Josh shrugged.

He did respect her rules throughout the rest of the game, his face buried in his phone, furiously texting someone.

“BOING!” She yelled, and Josh’s head snapped up, a lazy smile spreading over his face.

“Yes?” He asked, setting down his phone.

“It’s our turn” Maya informed.

“Sorry, it’s a little hard to keep track when I can’t look, listen, think about, or talk to you” he quipped.

“Yeah whatever, what’s my favorite drink?  Psh, you aren’t gonna guess this, might as well just pass now” Maya placed the card back in the pile.

“Raspberry blueberry banana smoothie, lemon wedge on the rim, with a blue crazy straw” Josh answered immediately and Maya was stunned.

“That’s too fancy, her favorite drink is root beer” Riley said proudly.

“You’re not even on her team anymore!” Auggie exclaimed.

“Actually Josh is right… I just don’t drink it that much” Maya blinked slowly in disbelief, “How’d you know?” she asked.

“You forced me to make it all the time when we were younger” Josh shrugged like it wasn’t weird that he remembered something so specific that even Riley didn’t know.

“Even the blue bendy straw?” Zay asked.

“Yeah, you used to jump on my back and wouldn’t get off until I put one in the cup, remember?” he faced her. Maybe it wasn’t weird for Josh to know how she works. And the fact that she wasn’t the only one who remembered the summers in Philadelphia where she, Riley, and Josh would play together made her heart feel full. Being carefree and playing in the backyard with the Matthews’ helped her forget what was happening between her parents, even if it was just for a little bit.

Maya realized Josh was waiting for an answer and snapped back to reality, “Yeah, I do… You still can’t talk to me though” she added quickly. Bringing up something from the past wasn’t going to fix everything. Josh looked disappointed but pulled out his phone again.

 

In the end, Lucas and Zay won, and Maya complained that she and Riley would’ve won if they hadn’t switched. In all actuality, Josh and Maya actually did really well for people who hadn’t spent much time together recently and who were currently fighting.

“Well kiddies, I actually have to leave now. See you next week at your birthday party Auggie” Josh stood up and gave both Auggie and Riley hugs before departing.  

“I don’t have to go that right?” Maya asked Riley once the door closed behind him.

“You already told me you would help us set it up” Riley reminded her.

“Oh yeah… great” she mumbled.

\--------

After another week of extreme awkwardness between her and Lucas, and her thinking so much it hurt her brain; Maya was in Topanga’s on a Saturday afternoon helping set up Auggie’s birthday party.

Okay, maybe she wasn’t helping set up, but she was definitely making sure that all the food Topanga bought wouldn’t be wasted.

“Maya can you stop eating all the food and help me put this banner up?” Riley asked from the ladder, holding a string with letters spelling ‘Happy Birthday Auggie!’ hung from it.

“Sorry, I’m now in a committed relationship with this food platter” she popped another cracker with cheese in her mouth.

“Fine, I can do it all by myself” Riley leaned to pin the ‘h’ to the wall above the counter, but started to fall due to sheer clumsiness, and started to yell.

“Woah! Be careful!” Lucas warned as she literally fell into his arms. Oh yeah, he was here too. He volunteered to help them set up, and seemed to be having a ‘moment’ with Riley every five minutes. Honestly, Maya was too preoccupied thinking about Josh to care. She was a wreck of nerves, and she really didn’t want to face him.

“Thanks” Riley smiled, her eyes shimmering, and Lucas smiled at her too.

“Barf” Maya rolled her eyes and sat on one of the stools.

“Lemme help you put it up” Lucas offered, and stood on the counter, taking the other end. Maya watched the two fumble, but eventually put it up and waited for them to get down.

“Alright, what do I get?” Maya asked, more because she felt like she had to rather than want to.

“Huh?” Lucas raised a brow in confusion.

“Y’know, you do something for Riley, now you gotta do something for me”

“Oh um… have some candy” Lucas handed her a bowl of skittles from the food spread.

“Works for me” Maya said and ate a few before setting it back down on the counter.

\--------

A few hours later the party had started and all of Auggie’s friends were there. Maya watched in amusement as Ava was yelling at Emma Weathersby while Cory was failing at defusing the situation.

“ _I’m_ Auggie Doggie Matthews’ wife not you!” Ava screeched.

“Oh yeah?! Well Auggie shared the cubbie with me when you were sick last Monday!” Emma retorted.

“WHAT?!” Ava yelled and turned to Auggie who was now very pale in the face.

“Yikes, I’m glad I’m not in his shoes” Lucas joked next to her.

“Yeah, you know _nothing_ about having two girls fighting over you” Maya rolled her eyes.

“Give me a break!” Lucas sighed and went to go talk to Farkle, who was making a brief appearance.  A few minutes later, Riley walked up beside Maya, who was still parked by the food.

“You look like you’re having a bad time” Riley pouted.

“No, kid’s parties are my favorite thing in the world!” Maya quipped.

“What’s wrong?” Riley pressed.

Maya shrugged, “I’m mostly just hoping your Uncle Boing doesn’t show up.”

“C’mon, you don’t mean that. Why don’t you two just talk it out?” Riley questioned.

“I don’t want to talk to him because he makes everything confusing” Maya admitted.

“As in you still like him?” Riley asked.

Maya shrugged, “I dunno. But it’s more than that.”

“What _did_ you guys talk about that morning?”

“I don’t want talk about it” Maya attempted to brush her off.

“Do I need to yell at him for you?” Riley inquired, “Because even though he’s my uncle, I will if he hurt you.”

“No, I don’t think he really meant to hurt my feelings” Maya fiddled with the drawstrings on her purple peasant blouse. Riley pulled her in for a hug and they pulled apart as the bell on the door rang from being opened.

“Happy birthday Auggie!” Josh smiled at his nephew and set down the gift bag in his hand to lift the boy onto his shoulders. He was wearing a heathered gray t-shirt and his navy blue beanie on his head.

“Thank you for coming when you did” Auggie sighed in relief.

“Uh oh, trouble with the missus?” Josh laughed.

“No, I’m a grown man who deals with his problems now” Auggie lied.

“Then I guess you’re too old to need me to see the world from up here” Josh joked.

“Fine, you’re right” Auggie grumbled. Josh smiled and set his nephew down on the floor, “Hey I thought you weren’t gonna put me down!” Auggie whined.

“Nah, you gotta make up with Ava” Josh ruffled the curls on Auggie’s hair before walking towards her and Riley, “Although I guess I’m a bit of a hypocrite” his gaze set on Maya, stuffing his hands in his jeans.

“Hi Uncle Josh” Riley greeted him and gave him a quick hug.

“How are you?” Josh asked, pouring himself a glass of water.

“Great, you two come with me” Riley grabbed both Maya and Josh and yanked them across the room and to the outside patio so fast that Josh’s water almost spilled all over him.

“Riles what are you doing?” Maya groaned as Riley forced them to sit down.

“Giving you a push. You two need to talk and make up” Riley said, “I’ll leave you guys alone” she turned to go back into the bakery but Maya interrupted her.

“What makes you think that we just won’t walk off?” she pointed out and Riley’s face fell.

“Because I actually want to talk to you” Josh said.

“See, problem solved” Riley’s smile returned and she entered the party again.

The two sat in silence for a few minutes, Maya’s arms crossed in faux disinterest and Josh drinking water and building up the courage to talk.

“Maya, when we talked I never meant for you be confused or angry at me” Josh finally spoke.

“Oh yeah? Well you did” Maya snapped.

“You have the right to be angry at me. But I care about Riley, I want her to be happy. And she cares about you, so I do too” Josh examined the mosaic on the table instead of looking at her.

“So I’m just Riley’s friend to you?” she asked, hurt evident in her voice.

Josh raised his head, “No that’s not what I meant… When we’re not fighting I actually enjoy talking to you. Just because we’re not as close as when we were kids doesn’t mean you’re not important to me Maya.” Important. She was important to him. That sounded familiar... _‘You’re not that important to me Josh’_. Right.

“And I told you that you weren’t” Maya uncrossed her arms. God, she felt guilty.

“Maybe you’re right. Maybe I don’t know you enough or helped cause this whole entire triangle. Maybe everything I said was wrong. I just want you two to be happy”

“No, you were right. I think. I don’t know. I don’t know how I feel about Lucas or why. And Riley doesn’t share things with me as much anymore. You made me into an anxiety-ridden worry wart” Maya accused, “I became Riley Matthews for two weeks and even though I love the girl, it was horrible.”

“You sure you haven’t been her for the past year?” Josh asked.

“You said that last time, but all I came up with was flowy dresses” Maya confessed.

“Well there’s that but… When I saw Riley two weeks ago I noticed almost immediately that something was off. That she wasn’t the same ‘Smiley-Riley’. And I’m guessing you’ve noticed it the past couple weeks too” Josh leaned his elbows on the table.

“Yeah, but I’d kind of like to focus on figuring me out right now” Maya tucked some of her hair behind her ear.

“It was the same with you. You’ve still got the sarcastic remarks and quick wit but, it wasn’t _you_. And it’s not just that Riley influenced you, which is fine; good even, you need hopeful people in your life but… It’s like you're switching roles. You want to be happy and she wants you to be happy too. The two of you are deadset that there must be a Riley and Maya in the world. So you turned into happy Maya because you were sick of being sad, and Riley started to become you to keep the balance. But there can be the Riley and Maya dichotomy and still have both of you be happy. That’s the whole point of you two being friends. You make each other better and make each other happy” Josh looked nervously at Maya, afraid that he’d hit a nerve like last time. Maya took a few minutes to process what he had just said.

“How do I be happy and also be me?” Maya asked and noticed that Josh’s face turned into a frown.

“Maya, they aren’t mutually exclusive. I know that because your dad left you probably have a hard time with realizing your worth it but… All of your friends and family love you. You are kind and an amazing friend. You just have to realize that, and love yourself” Josh reached out his hand and she took it.

Maya hated crying. She hated crying in front of other people and hated how weak it made her seem. But after what he’d just said she couldn’t help but to let her tears fall down her face.

“Did I say something wrong?” Josh asked, his eyebrows furrowed in concern and worry.

“No. You said everything right” She smiled and stood up, Josh mirroring the action. She walked towards him and put her arms around his waist, burying her face into his chest. Josh tensed at first but a few seconds later she felt his body relax and one of his hands reached up and stroked the top of her head while the other one curled around her back. He went to pull back after a while and Maya couldn’t help but feel disappointed.

“Don’t look now but there’s three nosy people in watching in the window” Josh joked and scratched the back of his neck. She could’ve sworn there was blush across his face. Maya turned around to see Farkle, Riley, and Lucas pressed up against the glass overlooking the patio. When they saw that the two noticed them they rushed away from the window.

“I shouldn’t even be surprised at this point” Maya sighed and opened the door, so that her three annoying, but loveable, best friends could come out.

“So are you guys okay again?” Riley asked hopefully. Josh turned to Maya, waiting for confirmation.

“Yeah, Uncle Boing and I are alright” Maya smiled.

“Now that we’re on good terms maybe you can stop calling me Uncle Boi-”

“Nope, not gonna happen” Maya grinned even wider.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thank you for all the love you've given this fic! i'm sorry if this chapter isn't the best, i had a bit of writers block when writing this. i probably won't update for a bit but feel free to talk to me on my tumblr about this fic!

As the the weeks passed summer turned into fall, and Josh found himself in a better mood. Autumn has always been his favorite time of the year, something about the leaves dying yet being beautiful was extremely poetic. Despite living in New York City now and not in suburban Philly, he still felt the cozy and homely feeling this time of year always brought. The downside to this time of year meant that school was starting to get more and more difficult, and he was preparing for his first finals in college, which to put it lightly, was one of the more horrible things he’s had to endure. And he almost died within the first week he was born.  

Andrew hadn’t really been helping the situation much either. Despite being older and more experienced with college, Josh was the most mature out of the two roommates. Instead of studying, Andrew was usually either complaining about the fact that Charlotte wasn’t his girlfriend (he would be if he just _asked her out already_ ) or out partying. Josh respected his right to party, and Andrew had definitely taken him to some fun ones; but it was significantly less fun when his roommate was on a drunken rant about how the Trix bunny should’ve just been given the cereal and how it tied in with modern day oppression while Josh tried to write a research paper on Victorian architecture.

He had tried to form a study group with Jasmine for psychology, who was taking the same course at a different time in the day, but it didn’t work out too well. They had gotten a lot of work done at first, despite being yelled at by the librarian for being too loud. But then Josh accidentally mentioned Maya and Jasmine got all nosy and overexcited like she usually did; asking him invasive questions and mentioning her every time they got together.

So since the library and his own dorm weren’t safe from distraction, he had started to hang out and do work at Topanga’s. He knew that other college students as well as Riley and her friends did their work there so he figured it would be a good place to study. It also helped that Topanga offered to give him a discount on the food and drinks, which was music to his broke college student ears. Although Josh hadn’t been planning on it, being at the cafe also helped him keep tabs on Riley and make sure she was doing okay, in addition to the family dinner the Matthews’ had every other Friday.

Josh was currently sat in the corner of the Topanga’s near the bookshelves; half watching the six friends and writing a women’s studies paper while drinking some coffee.

“Okay, am I the only one that doesn’t understand Romeo and Juliet?” Zay asked with exasperation while flipping the pages of the book.

“The actual book or the characters?” Lucas inquired from the couch, where he was sandwiched between Riley and Maya per usual.

Zay thought for a moment and then answered, “Both.”

“If you break it down, they were pretty much just two teenage idiots being recklessly in love” Farkle deadpanned.

“Well I think Romeo and Juliet is beautiful and romantic” Riley gushed.

“I have to agree with Farkle on this one. Idiots, every single one of them! Plus they speak all dumb and complicated” Maya pouted. Josh felt the need to offer to help her out with understanding it, but kept quiet in case the offer would embarrass and upset her.

“Riley, they die at the end, how is that romantic?” Farkle returned his focus onto the bubbly girl next to him.

“Spoilers!” Riley yelled, covering her ears with her hands and singing to drown out the noise.

Maya reached over Lucas and pried her hands away from her face, “Riles, everybody knows they die at the end, even me.”

“Oh. Right. I dunno I think it’s kinda romantic” she stated.

“Does that mean if we date we’re going to have to commit double suicide? Because I’m not up for that” Lucas asked with concern.

“No, but the other stuff is nice” Riley tucked some hair behind her ear.

“What, the part where they have underage sex and get married after a day of meeting each other? Or when he kills a member of extended family?” Farkle laughed.

“Hey, that is not going to happen!” Josh pitched in, even though he was supportive of Riley and Lucas he did not want sex or marriage to happen right now. He also didn’t really want to die, even though he would enjoy the fact that he would get out of finals.

“I _knew_ you were listening” Maya turned around and shot him a sly smirk.

“Only because you guys talk so loud” Josh made up an admittedly crappy excuse and went back to typing his essay.

“What do _you_ think of Romeo and Juliet Boing?” Maya asked.

“Stop calling me that” Josh glared, even though it held barely any merit.

“Sorry Uncle Boing, once I give ya a nickname, you’re stuck with it” she shrugged, “My hands are tied.”

He sighed, knowing that Maya would get the satisfaction of him responding the the nickname before answering, “I think it’s an amazing play. It masters both analogy and symbolism as well as drama, tragedy, and comedy.”

“Nerd” Maya rolled her eyes, “You Matthews’ are hopeless” and she began to turn around.

“Yes. Hopeless _romantics_ ” Riley smiled.

“I wasn’t done. While the play is great, I think Romeo and Juliet themselves were idiots” Josh said.

“You’re dead to me” Riley joked, “What do you think about it Lucas?”

The Texan shrugged, “I dunno, I can see both points of view”

“Of course you do Mr. Keep-Everyone-Happy” Maya groaned.

“Fine. I think they would’ve been better if they had actually talked and communicated instead of being all reckless. Talking is important in a relationship” Lucas declared.

“So is breaking the rules and being adventurous. It’s exciting” Maya said, “That’s one of the reasons I like you.”

“That’s the old me Maya. I’m sorry but I don’t agree with you” Lucas shook his head.

Maya stayed quiet for a moment before speaking, “Like I told Boing, I give you a nickname it sticks. You aren’t living up to your name” She went on to angrily sip on her smoothie. That was a defense mechanism if Josh had ever seen one. Maya often did this, crack a joke to mask that she was hurt, even since she was little. The concept wasn’t foreign to Josh himself either, and he felt like pulling her aside and talking to her about it, but came to the conclusion that she would probably just yell at him right now.

The other five continued to talk about the play while Maya sat silent and Josh focused on his work.

He got about a page written before the conversation caught his attention again.

“‘If I profane with my unworthiest hand, This holy shrine, the gentle fine is this: My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss’” Riley began to recite in a terrible British accent, taking Lucas’ hands, “‘Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, Which mannerly devotion shows in this; For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, And palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss.” Lucas blinked back at her in enchantment. Oh yeah, he was definitely going to win the bet against Auggie over who Lucas was going to choose. Although his nephew had really only said Maya in the hopes that he could spend more time with Riley.

“Woah” Zay raised his brows.

“Hey, stop it! I didn't understand half of the words you just said but you have that dumb gushy romantic look on your face” Maya separated their hands.

“Riley, you do know that you just said Romeo _and_ Juliet’s lines right?” Farkle asked.

“I don’t blame her, they’re both so stupid and into each other you can’t tell them apart” Maya laughed at her own joke.

“Actually, considering the circumstance the lovers were not actually intellectually inferior, at least to the average person” Smackle interjected, and began to go on a well educated rant that Josh tuned out. While the conversation was interesting, he had his own schoolwork to do. Josh plugged his headphones into his laptop and let the sounds of The Neighbourhood drown out the rest of the world.

\--------

An hour later Josh was currently trying to get every last drop of coffee out of his tall mug and into his mouth to keep functioning as a human being. When he finally accepted the fact that there wasn’t anymore he pulled out his headphones in order to get up and ask for some more from Katy, who was working at the moment. He noticed that the group of six had thinned out and all that was left was the triangle. Josh quickly glanced at the time on his laptop, which read 6:15. He should probably leave soon, but not without his life source. Josh gave the emotionally confused teens a quick once-over before walking over to the counter.

“Hi Josh, what can I do for ya?” Katy smiled at him, playing the part of a perfect waitress.

“One for the road?” Josh asked, knowing that she would know exactly what he was talking about. He _had_ consumed four coffees in his time here alone.

“Comin’ right up” Katy took his mug and went to go make some coffee, “Although I don’t know how you’re not bouncing off the walls right now.”

“Pretty sure I’d be pronounced dead if I didn’t have caffeine in my system right now” Josh quipped, and Katy let out a booming laugh.

“What’cha doin?” Maya asked suspiciously from the couch.

“Ordering food… it’s kinda what you’re supposed to do in a cafe” he furrowed his brows in confusion as to why she sounded so skeptical.

Maya opened her mouth to reply but Riley beat her to it, “Speaking of food, are you coming to family dinner on Friday?” she inquired.

“Yup, I might be a little late though” Josh informed his niece as he leaned his back against the counter to face them.

“Good, Mommy’s making homemade pizza” she grinned.

“Mmm, that sounds good” Lucas commented.

“Ooh! You should come over too!” Riley suggested excitedly.

“Ha, yeah right” Maya laughed and crossed her arms.

“What do you mean?” Riley turned to her best friend.

“ _Family_ dinner. Remember last time when you brought you brought friends over for family game night? You’re dad _freaked_ out” Maya reminded her.

“And now we have friends over sometimes, why won’t it be the same this time?” Riley shrugged.

“How come you get to go over and eat?” Lucas directed his question to Maya.

“I practically live at their apartment. They’re stuck with me” she replied.

“We’re not stuck, we’re lucky to have you!” Riley smiled at her. Katy handed Josh a to-go cup full of coffee and he thanked her while sliding money across the counter.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m telling you he’s not gonna be happy” Maya stood up and almost bumped into Josh as he made his way back to his table. Good thing he had mostly grown out of his awkward gangly clumsy teenage years. It seemed like a theme among the Matthews.

“Technically Lucas is both of our boyfriends,” Riley began and Lucas sighed, “So think of it as his daughters bringing their boyfriend over for dinner! Perfectly normal!”

“Oh yeah, nothing more normal than that!” Maya rolled her eyes and picked up her backpack, Riley and Lucas following suit.

“You know, there’s really no way this plan can go wrong” Josh joked as he put his laptop into his own backpack and slung it over her shoulders.

“Thank you Uncle Josh” Riley said smugly, thinking he had actually agreed with her.

“No, Riley-”

“I dunno if I really want to upset your dad like that Riley” Lucas shook his head, interrupting Josh. He truly was Mr. Keep-Everyone-Happy.

“You’re going” Riley and Maya snapped at him in unison.

“Wait, I thought you didn’t think it was a good idea Maya?” Lucas asked confused and betrayed, obviously not wanting to go.

“Oh I still do. But I wanna see the trainwreck” Maya grinned mischievously.

“Oh no” Lucas griped.

“It’s going to be perfectly fine!” Riley attempted to reassure Lucas, but it came out as more of an angry command.

“This is gonna be fun” Josh smirked and waved goodbye to the trio before leaving Topanga’s.

\--------

The phrase ‘thank god it’s friday’ has never rang more true for Josh than today. He finished his women’s studies paper, did well on his psychology exam, and had actually completed some of his work early. That did mean that he was practically a zombie who ran on coffee and overly salty ramen, but tonight he was getting an actual meal. Riley had texted him confirming that both Lucas and Maya would be joining them, so it looked like Josh would also have some entertainment tonight.

He got up from his bed where he had slept for an hour after class and walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Josh turned on the shower and began to strip off his clothes, throwing them into his hamper. After a minute he brought his fingertips under the water to test the temperature, which was nice and warm. As he stood under beating droplets of water, Josh could feel the stress of the week wash off of him and his muscles relaxing. His relaxed state made him on the verge of falling asleep in the shower, and as a result he was becoming increasingly clumsy. His tired state diminished immediately as he accidently got shampoo in his eye.

“Fuck!” he yelled in pain.

The stinging in his eye shortened his shower by quite a bit, he quickly cleaned himself off and dried his hair and body. With a towel wrapped around his hips he walked out and rummaged through his drawers for something clean to wear. He settled on a navy blue henley and black jeans and tugged them on. Throwing on his hooded leather jacket, Josh gathered up his phone, earbuds, keys, and metrocard from his bed and locked the dorm door behind him.

\--------

When Josh did arrive at the Matthews’, Lucas and Maya were already there.

“My brotha!” Josh greeted as he shrugged off his jacket and hung it on the coat rack.

“My brotha!” Cory yelled back, “Tell this kid to leave my home” he pointed to a very uncomfortable Lucas on the couch.

“What, need a grown up to kick the big bad highschooler out of your apartment?” Josh teased.

“Yes!” Cory exclaimed, and Maya laughed from the dining table, her front facing the door.

“You missed the opening act Uncle Boing, it was _explosive_ ” Maya bantered in lieu of a hello. Josh grinned and then noticed Riley’s defeated frame to her right.

“What’s wrong Riley?”

“It’s not going too well” Riley pouted.

“Aw cheer up” Josh patted her head, “Maybe he’ll come around?”

Just then Lucas yelped from the couch, “What are you doing sir?!”

“Collecting your hair to see if you’re a human being. A normal human wouldn’t look so perfect-”

“Aw you got a crush?” Maya jeered.

“You shut up” Cory snapped at Maya before turning back to Lucas, “And a normal human wouldn’t be stupid enough to come to a father’s house as his daughter's boyfriend!”

“Don’t forget, he’s dating Maya too” Topanga laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation from the kitchen.

“I take it’s being going well then?” Josh joked as he leaned against the counter.

“Swimmingly” Topanga groaned. The two caught up a bit while Cory yelled at Lucas, Riley was covering her hands in embarrassment and Maya kept losing her breath from laughing so much.

“Joshie!” Auggie ran out of his room, Ava trailing behind him, and hugged Josh’s leg.

“How ya doin Auggie?” He asked his nephew.

“Hungry. I’m ready for some ‘za” Auggie replied.

Josh laughed, “‘Za?”

“Pizza. He’s getting into abbreviating _everything_ ” Topanga clarified, “It’ll be ready soon” she told Auggie.

“Hello handsome” Ava outstretched her hand to Josh. The amount of times Josh has been checked out and flirted with in this apartment was worrying; but it was definitely the weirdest coming from an eight year old.

“Hey kiddo” he awkwardly shook her hand.

“I’m a grown woman” Ava declared.

“That’s right, you’re _married_ aren’t you?” He noticed Auggie glaring at the pair. These people were honestly ridiculous.

“Yes she is” Auggie took her hand.

Josh rolled his eyes, “Auggie I’m not going to try to steal your eight year old girlfriend from you.” Auggie made the ‘I’m watching you’ signal with his hands and sat at the dining table with Ava.

“How come Auggie gets to bring Ava over?” Riley complained.

“Because they’ve been married for 52 years!” Cory retorted.

“You got a couple of ring pops?” Maya asked Riley, and winked at Josh, she was obviously trying to push Cory’s buttons and have him freak out again.

“No, no, no!” Cory pointed at each member of the triangle for every ‘no’, “There will be no marriage, dating, or even hand holding from anyone here until you’re 80!”

“Woo! Outburst number two!” Maya pumped her fists in the air and Riley handed her $5, “I’m gonna be rich after tonight.”

“C’mon Cory relax” Topanga sighed as she checked on the pizza in the oven.

“No, if I relax they’ll take advantage of it and soon I’ll have eight grandchildren before they’re out of highschool!” Cory yelled.

“Dad!” Riley cried out in embarrassment.

“Cory you’re being a hypocrite” Josh sat beside Riley.

“Nuh uh” Cory dismissed in him in his usual childish manner.

“You and Topanga made out against locker when you were in like… sixth grade? Besides I think they know their boundaries”  Josh pointed out.

“Maybe Riley and Maya, but c’mon us guys are horrible” Cory rebutted. Josh nodded in reluctant agreement.

“Dinners ready!” Topanga said as she set down the spread of food, which looked delicious. Riley, Maya, and him reoriented themselves so that their feet were under the table. Lucas and Cory got up from the couch and the latter took his usual spot on the table. Topanga, Auggie, and Ava took up the other side of the table, and Josh saw Lucas panic. The Texan took a spare chair and placed it at the end of the table, so that he was across from Cory.

“No! You are not replacing me as head of the house!” Cory scowled. Riley thumped her head against the table repeatedly next to Josh. Maya lifted up her head to get her to stop but as soon as she let go Riley’s head fell back down onto the table.

“Then where should I sit sir?” Lucas asked and Cory pointed to the fire escape.

“Lucas, it’s fine, just sit down” Topanga sent a glare to Cory and Lucas sat down in his chair hesitantly.

The eight of them dished up the pizza and sides and began to eat.

“So Josh, Riley told me that you’ve been hanging out at the cafe?” Topanga asked before sipping on lemon water.

“Yeah, it’s a good place to do work” Josh nodded, taking a bite of his slice of pizza.

“Katy told me we’ll need to order even more coffee just for you alone” Topanga teased.

“Sorry about that… I feel bad that I’m getting a discount and buying a lot of stuff” Josh admitted.

“Don’t worry about it, you’re my brother-in-law! Although…” Topanga trailed off.

“Don’t do it Josh. Whatever it is don’t do it. I know that tone of voice” Cory warned him.

“Shut up” Topanga playfully shoved him, “Katy and I were talking about making an open mic night for the teens to be able to express themselves and thought that someone young should be working those nights. Maybe you could work then and some other shifts from time to time?” The idea seemed very cool to Josh, and he owed a lot to Topanga and Cory so he was up to it.

“Huh. Usually mine is worse than that” Cory said.

“Open mic night?” Maya asked, ignoring Cory’s comment.

“Yeah, kids can come up and sing, dance, do poetry, or whatever. We thought it would be nice, safe, and harmless fun for you guys”

“Sure, sounds fun” Josh nodded in agreement.

“I’ll give you Katy’s number so you can work out a time to get a little training in. It’s pretty easy though” Topanga smiled, “Thank you for doing this. And don’t worry I’ll pay you.” That part definitely sounded good to Josh too.

\--------

The time read 9:45 on the Matthews’ clock, and Lucas had been kicked out by an infuriated Cory a couple of hours ago; and Topanga had done the same with Ava in a slightly less angry way. Auggie and Cory were currently asleep on the couch from watching a Phillies game, which Josh half paid attention to while he hung out with Riley and Maya.

“You thinking what I’m thinking?” He asked Maya and nodded to the sleeping pair, Cory’s arm hanging off the couch.

“Oh yeah” Maya nodded and a troublemaker grin spread across her face.

“What are you doing?” Riley asked with a yawn, she usually fell asleep at 10:00 so she was already tired.

“I’ll get the whip cream, you get the feather?” Josh suggested. Maya nodded and bounded off towards the bedrooms.

“Oh, give him a break. He’s had a tough night” Topanga said as she worked on a case on her laptop.

“Sorry, it’s too tempting. Besides, he should know better by now” Josh shook his head and jumped up from the table to the fridge. He rummaged around the fridge before finding some whip cream.

“Fine, but I’m not going to defend you this time” Topanga stated as she continued to type away.

Josh started to shake the can, “Open wide Riley” his niece did as she was told and Josh tilted her head back and filled her mouth with whipped cream, “Alright, it works. Whipped cream: check.”

“Why’d ya do that?” she asked, her mouth still full of whipped cream.

“Can’t compromise the prank by using a can with barely anything in it. Too noisy.”

“Sometimes I’m worried you’re a bit too much of a evil mastermind” Topanga said.

“Just with pranks. When you’re the only kid in the house you have to keep yourself entertained somehow.”

Maya entered the kitchen with a quill in her hand, “Swiped this from his personal collection. Oughta make this a little more fun.”

“See, case and point” Josh grinned.

“Oh boy” Riley frowned.

“Be prepared to run” Topanga warned them.

They tiptoed towards Cory and gave each other a look to commence the plan, Josh emptied a third of the can onto his brother’s hand. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and started filming. Maya stifled her laughter and brushed the feather on Cory’s nose. As predicted he touched his face with his hand, covering it in whipped cream.

“What the hell?!” Cory woke up and looked at his hand which was still covered. Josh and Maya were clutching their sides laughing, because even though it was such an overdone prank and they had done it many times to Cory in particular, his face never got old.

“Get out of my home!” Cory yelled at them.

Josh wiped the tears from laughing too hard out of his eyes, “Thanks for dinner Topanga, bye Riley!” He waved and grabbed his leather jacket.

“Bye Riles!” Maya’s face was still scrunched up from laughing.

“Bye Peaches, see you tomorrow!” Riley called from the table.

“I for one think it’s a good look on you Mr. Matthews” Maya teased.

“ _Leave_!” He shouted again and Maya quickly grabbed her hoodie and zipped it up. Josh held the apartment door open for her and they left so Cory wouldn’t start throwing things.

“Never gets old” Maya smiled as they walked down the hallway and descended the stairs. They stopped once the were out on the sidewalk and Josh put on his jacket.

“Which way is your house?” He inquired while stuffing his hands in his pockets.

“What?” Maya raised a brow at him.

“Which way is your house? I’m gonna walk you home.”

“I can get home by myself” Maya shook her head.

“Why are you being weird? It’s 10:00 and I don’t want you to get hurt” Josh furrowed his brows.

Maya looked at him for a minute and then began to walk, “This way Boing.”

The two of them walked in silence for awhile, just taking in the surrounding city life and enjoying each other’s company.

“You know, you were being very Maya Hart tonight” Josh broke the silence as the crossed the street.

“What does that mean?” she looked at him in confusion.

“I mean that you were being yourself. Not Riley Matthews. Riley Matthews doesn’t make bets about Cory’s misfortune or pull pranks on people. That’s all you” he grinned, happy that she was finally starting to be herself again.

“Huh… I guess you’re right” Maya smiled smally.

“What? I couldn’t hear you? Can you repeat that?” Josh joked, cupping his ear with his hand and leaning into her.

“Shut up loser” Maya rolled her eyes and nearly pushed him off the sidewalk.

They started to chat about their favorite bands and the stupid things they saw on an everyday basis when she eventually stopped walking.

“Well this is my stop” Maya rocked back and forth on her feet awkwardly.

“Goodnight Maya” he smiled, something that was becoming increasingly difficult not to do around her these days.

“Night Uncle Boing” she beamed, “Don’t miss me too much.”

“I think I’ll manage” Josh said just before she closed the door behind her.

Josh untangled his earbuds and plugged them into his phones, picking a playlist to listen to on the way back to NYU. A few minutes into his walk he texted Maya the video of the prank they pulled on Cory. His phone buzzed a moment later, signifying him that she had replied.

_u only lasted 5 minutes before texting me. be careful or pretty soon i’ll think ur obsessed_

Josh laughed and shook his head before typing out a reply.

_you’re the one who replied two seconds later ;)_

He smirked, satisfied with his response. His phone didn’t vibrate until he was stepping into the subway car, the screen showing that she had settled for a simple middle finger emoji.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for being patient and getting this to 100 kudos! i started school last week, so the updates are probably going to be further apart. hope you guys enjoy the chapter, a lot happens ;)

The words ‘happy’ and ‘Monday’ should never be used in the same phrase according to Maya Hart and the majority of the world. Except for maybe Riley Matthews, but she was always disgustingly cheerful and was _ definitely _ not the majority of people. Yet here she was, Monday morning, smiling and humming to herself as she took out a couple binders from her locker. Yes, Maya Hart was happy on a Monday at  _ school _ . She was not entirely convinced that she hadn’t stepped into a twilight zone. 

“Ooh! Are we happy today? Why are we happy?” Riley lilted as she came up from behind Maya, hearing her friend humming. Maya looked at her to find a huge smile taking up the majority of her face.

“I might be happy. Might be brainwashed from spending too much time with you. Don’t tell anyone either way, I can’t ruin my reputation” Maya replied, closing her locker instead of slamming it like she usually did.

Riley frowned, “Okay. Well I’m happier because you’re happy. So, why are you happy?” The shrill school bell rang indicating it was time for the students to walk to class.

“Oh, guess I’ll have to tell you later!” Maya began to walk away.

“Peaches, we have the same class right now. History, remember? Wait, are you happy because you have amnesia and can’t remember all of the things that’s happened to you- Oh my god do you not remember me?!” Riley began to hyperventilate.

“Calm down, I don’t have amnesia. I’ve been told I can still be happy  _ and  _ be me” Maya stroked her friend’s back to help her relax.

“Why don’t you want to tell me why you’re happy?” Riley asked.

“I don’t really know why I am” Maya shrugged as they walked to history. That was kind of a lie. She knew what was making her happy but the exact reason  _ why _ ? She wasn’t sure.

The first reason was because she was feeling more like herself. A reckless troublemaker who was now wearing graphic tee’s and jeans again. But this time she wasn’t all bad anymore. She had some hope. Maya had brought back the things that made her undeniably the ‘Maya’ in ‘Riley and Maya’, mixed in with a little happiness.

Maya’s phone buzzed in her hand, bringing her back to reality.

**uncle boing:** _i think i just heard my psych professor creak. evidence that he’s a robot is becoming overwhelming at this point. remind me to buy him some anti-rusting oil next time i need to bring my grade up lol_

A grin spread across her face and she saw Riley raise her brows out of the corner of her  eyes.

Josh Matthews was the other reason she was feeling unnaturally happy. The two had been texting practically non-stop since the Matthews’ family dinner on Friday. Maya always knew that Josh was funny, but Maya had cry-laughed so many times over the weekend she lost count. When she was in middle school there was always this awkward boundary between them, but now that she liked Lucas, Josh wasn’t putting his walls up. It felt like talking to Riley or with  Farkle, except she was able to be a lot more crude and he always understood her jokes. Maya supposed they could be considered friends, which was weird and exciting all at once. 

Part of Maya wondered if she was starting to like Josh again, but the other part told her she was being ridiculous. Truthfully, Maya had no idea what she felt for Lucas  _ or _ Josh but she knew she was happy and wasn’t going to rush to figure it all out.

Riley entered her father's classroom first, sitting down in her seat and Maya settling into the one behind her. The two said hi to Smackle and Farkle - or Smarkle as they called themselves, who were already in their seats like the good geniuses they were. Maya looked up at the chalkboard behind Mr. Matthews which had the question ‘what is true to you?’ written on it in his usual big capital letters.

“You gotta be kidding me Matthews!” she threw her hands up in frustration. The single thing she didn’t want to deal with and he was going to force her to.

“What’s wrong Maya?” Cory asked with a sly smile. He totally knew what was going on her mind. It was freaky how he did that. That quality was what made him both the best and worst teacher.

“Oh shut up!” Maya scowled and slid down in her seat.

“What happened to happy Maya?” Riley turned around to face her, concern apparent on her face.

“Your mean ol’ daddy” Maya frowned.

“Dad you make her happy again!” Riley faced the board again and yelled at Cory.

“That’s what I’m tryna do! This is for your own good ya imp!” He pointed at Maya.

Lucas and Zay strolled in as the bell was ringing, laughing about something they were talking about.

“Mr. Friar you’re late!” Cory chastised.

“What?! Sir, with all due respect I came in before the bell rang and I wasn’t the only one” Lucas objected looking at Zay.

“Thanks Lucas” Zay said sarcastically, not happy he threw him under the bus.

“Zip it, you’re late! Zay is not” Cory crossed his arms.

“Wow, it’s not often the white Texan dude gets in trouble and the black guy doesn’t” Zay wisecracked.

“Ya wanna know why I marked you tardy Lucas? Because you came into  _ my home _ as my daughter and her best friends’ boyfriend and tried to replace me!” Cory snapped.

Maya grinned, “Riley, five more dollars please” she extended her hand.

“You wiped out my piggy bank on Friday” Riley frowned.

“Don’t believe in me Maya?” Cory asked.

“C’mon Matthews, you get angry about everything” she shrugged.

“During the Vietnam War, many Americans didn’t believe in the war. People called hippies thought it was a waste of time and killing innocent people” Cory addressed the class.

“Eh, I give that transition a 3 out of 10. Try harder next time” Farkle criticized. Smackle nodded in agreement.

Cory rolled his eyes and continued, “ _ The Things They Carried  _ by Tim O’Brien is a collection of short stories about serving in the military during that war-”

“I thought this was history. Why are we reading a book?!” Zay interjected.

“Yeah!” Maya yelled angrily, mostly just because she wanted to protest against Cory.

“God, I really have spoiled you guys. Why don’t we try letting the actual teacher talk?” he sighed. The class gave a half-assed noise of agreement before he continued, “One story explains that war stories are usually never completely true. Sometimes they need to be embellished or fake in order to get a real point across. The  _ meaning _ behind them are true to the soldiers.”

“What does this have to do with us? Are you telling us to lie?” Riley inquired.

“No. I’m assigning you to give a speech of presentation about something that you personally know is true. Whether it’s about the world or yourself” Cory told the class, “And no ‘people change people’. I want to know something unique to  _ you _ . Include a personal experience that helped you realize it was true. We’ll be presenting on Friday.”

“That’s a bit of a loaded question. Do you really think any of us knows something is really true?” Maya protested.

“Truth can be subjective, all I’m asking for is something you personally believe is true.” Cory explained.

“So can I talk about how Pluto is a planet?” Riley’s eyes brightened.

“If you believe that be true, then yes, of course sweetie” Cory nodded.

“Well I’m going to write about how mac n cheese and ketchup is the most ungodly combination of food” Maya declared angrily.

“No, you Miss Hart have to discover something true about yourself. I don’t want some joke assignment. Pluto is important to Riley. I doubt condiment choice is something you’re  _ that _ passionate about.”

“You don’t know, maybe I’m a world famous food critic! Do you keep up with the food world?!” Maya yelled, grasping at straws.

“Maya, this assignment is for you. Please take it seriously” Cory said softly, “And I’m a bit insulted you don’t think I’m sophisticated enough for the food world.”

“You had frozen burritos for a week straight when Topanga was gone” Maya deadpanned.

“That’s just wrong” Zay shook his head, “No burrito should ever be frozen.”

“I had to cook for Auggie and I” Riley lamented.

“Hey let’s not bring my personal life into this” Cory attempted to silence the class. 

“The whole entire class is just you teaching us lessons about our personal lives Sir” Lucas pointed out. 

“Shut up!” Cory shouted.

“I think that it’s only fair you experience the same thing” Maya said.

“I did! Hello, Mr. Feeny?! He wasn’t just my neighbor!” 

“So Auggie  _ was _ right, he’s our grandpa!” Riley said excitedly.

“No, he was my teacher. Sweetie, you do know you only have two grandparents right?” Cory asked.

She shook her head ‘no’ looking like a confused puppy.

“You know what, nevermind let’s just pass out the books” Cory shook his head at Riley’s obliviousness and put a box of books on his desk, pulling a few out. 

Maya paid barely any attention when Cory read the short story for the remainder of the class. She used to think hope was for suckers, and lived by that motto, but that changed when Shawn came into her life. How was she supposed to know that something is true if the thing she believed for her whole life changed in a year? Life is always moving and changing, so how was something supposed to always be true? What Maya  _ did  _ know was that she hated this assignment and being forced to think about her life like this; but Cory wasn’t going to let her present on that.

\--------

Maya sat at the chair closest to the counter in Topanga’s while her friends talked about their presentations. As she said in class, Riley was going to talk about pluto, Lucas was going to talk about how it’s important to be good, Zay was going to talk about ballet, and the genius couple were going to be talking about god knows what- Maya didn’t understand a single word the pair had said. But they did have something chosen, which was a lot better than Maya had at the moment. The only thing she could think of was how pissed off she was at Mr. Matthews.

“How did you guys think of something so quickly?” Maya sighed.

“I dunno, it’s just a gut feeling. We’re all talking about something important to us, so it was pretty easy for me to pick” Lucas shrugged, looking up from his notebook.

“Oh shut up Mr. Perfect” she rolled her eyes and turned her attention to her best friend, “Riles help me figure this out.”

“Sorry Peaches, Dad said you need to figure this out by yourself and I agree with him.” Riley shook her head no, but did seem to feel kind of bad about not helping Maya. 

“C’mon you used to do my homework all the time in middle school! I haven’t asked in  _ so  _ long!” Maya pleaded.

“And that’s a good thing. I’m proud of you” Riley smiled, attempting to avoid her begging.

“Don’t you try to praise me and tell me I’m good! I’m trying to guilt you here!” Maya crossed her arms in faux annoyance.

“You got until Friday honey nugget, don’t stress” Zay attempted to calm her down, although he was a serial procrastinator just like her, so it didn’t help much.

“Honey nugget?” Lucas asked while laughing.

“Shut it Ranger Rick” Maya snapped. Farkle chuckled and the conversation died down, the friends going back to completing their homework. Except for Maya of course.

Maya’s eyes searched the cafe for a distraction, something to silently make fun of or draw, or literally anything other than think about her stupid project. Her gaze fell to Josh sitting in his usual table near the back, furiously typing away at his keyboard. He was wearing a black beanie and a ‘The Killers’ t-shirt on with the sleeves rolled up. If she was standing, Maya would’ve probably fallen down looking at him. She debated whether she was going to make fun of him or draw him, but decided that she would just go over and talk to him instead. 

“Uncle Boing” she greeted as she slid into the other seat at the table.

Josh took out his earbuds, “Maya” he replied, “What’s up?”

“Oh, the usual. Identity crisis’, general detest for school, and I could  _ really _ go for some fries right about now” Maya leaned her elbows on the table. Josh raised an intrigued brow at her.

“Alright, what did my brother assign this week?” he asked, closing his laptop.

“How do you know it was him?” Maya asked.

“Please, it’s Cory. He makes any bad and confusing situation ten times worse” Josh answered as if it was stupid she asked the question at all.

“We have to talk about something that we know is true” she grumbled.

Josh’s eyes flicked to Lucas before returning to her, “I see. So what are you talking about?” a sly smirk spread across his face and she responded with a glare and flicked his forehead.

“Ow!” Josh furrowed his brows in annoyance, “What are you, five?” The comment stung a little, since age was always a weird topic between them, but she brushed it off.

“What would you talk about if you had to?” Maya asked, Josh sat for a minute or two, thinking about it. She was began to get so bored that she started counting the sugar packets on the table.

“Do you know the story of when I was born?” Josh spoke finally.

“What, Mom and Dad were on a romantic date, her water breaks, you’re popped out and dressed up as Cupid?” she quipped, knowing that he was born on Valentine’s day.

“I’ll take that as a no then” Josh shook his head, “My mom’s water broke during a baby shower. Probably because she was so mortified that Cory hired a male stripper dressed as a pizza delivery guy who had a ‘hot slice for her’.”

“Oh, I am totally going to use that against him” Maya grinned mischievously. 

Josh smiled briefly before continuing, “Anyways, I was premature and I hadn’t flipped around quite yet so she had to get a c-section. She… she didn’t get to hold me before they took me to the NICU.”

“NICU?” Maya asked, not sure what it meant. But from his tone of voice it couldn’t have been anything good. 

“Neonatal intensive care unit. It’s where they take newborns who are ill” Josh explained. Maya stopped breathing for a second. A moment ago she was just making fun of him, and he had to get emergency care in his first twenty-four hours on earth.

“Hey, it’s fine, you didn’t know. Besides I don’t remember it, you didn’t offend me” he added quickly, noticing her guilt. 

Maya thought for a moment before clearing her throat, “What was wrong with you?”

“I was born with a respiratory infection” Josh answered.

“So they fixed you right up and everything was okay?” she asked hopefully.

Josh shook his head, “They tried a bunch of medicine, but none of it worked. It was pretty much… It was up to me to beat it or I would die” he let out a shaky breath.

Maya was confused for a moment, he had just said he didn’t remember it so it didn’t really affect him. Why was he getting all worked up? 

No...he was emotional because he was thinking about if he had died. If he wasn’t here right now. What the world would be like without a Joshua Gabriel Matthews in it. Maya didn’t like the thought of that. He could be a pain in the ass, but Josh was an important person in her life. She blinked back a couple of tears, but she had to be strong for once. Maya put her hand over his, which was balled up into a tense fist. She started to stroke her thumb over the back of his hand in an attempt to comfort him. His eyes shot up to hers and then looked back down at their hands.

“Thanks, sorry...” Josh took a deep breath and regained his composure, “They gave me the middle name Gabriel because it means ‘he who God protects’. It was pretty hard for everyone. I almost ended Cory and Topanga, America’s sweethearts” he chuckled slightly, trying to bring some positivity into the conversation, “I ended up living and here we are.”

“So is your truth is that God is always looking out for you?” Maya guessed.

“Despite the fact that my whole entire name is biblical, I’m not super religious. Don’t tell my mom that though” he leaned back in his chair, removing his hand from hers. 

“Alright, so you never know what’s gonna happen in life so take risks and do what you want?”

“You could look at it that way, but that’s not what I took from the experience” Josh shrugged.

“What? That’s like classic trauma survivor stuff right there” Maya said in slight disbelief.

“Sorry to disappoint” he took a swig of his coffee. 

“Okay, so what is it. What is your truth?” she questioned.

“I believe everything happens for a reason. Life brings people together and puts them through certain situations to test them” Josh stated.

“What, so life almost kills a newborn baby and takes away a child’s father to  _ test _ them?” Maya asked incredulously. 

“Life’s an asshole for doing that. But it did change us and those around us right?” Josh admitted.

“Oh yeah, thank you life for giving me low self esteem and commitment issues” she rolled her eyes. 

“It also helped make you one of the most loving and caring people I’ve ever met” he commented. Maya practically felt her heart swell up. She started to talk but just stammered, she wasn’t sure what she could say to that.

“Life brought you and Riley together. What are the chances you would hear Riley’s singing, climb up a fire escape, and crawl into a bay window to find your best friend? The most important person in your life and you met her because she was singing the exact moment you passed by the apartment. I don’t think that’s a coincidence” Josh explained.

Maya thought for a moment, “What are the odds that we meet Lucas on the subway and he’s in our history class; and he becomes our best friend. What are the odds that Riley and I are Cory and Shawn. What are the odds that I meet you?” she talked aloud realizing what he meant. 

“Exactly. Life brings people into our lives and maybe they aren’t the person we expect or exactly what we want them to be but.... They’re important to us. They change who we are. People change people as Cory says” Josh set his elbow on the table and propped his head up with his hands. 

Maya made an annoying buzzer sound, “Sorry wrong, we can’t use ‘people change people’.”

“That’s not my whole truth. I think that we should go through life trusting that what happens to us has a reason. I don’t need to take life into my own hands or change everything. If it’s truly good for me or the right thing, then it will happen eventually. That’s my truth” he slapped the table to signify he was done.

“What hippie stuff are you smoking?” Maya laughed.

“Don’t agree with me?” he asked.

“I didn’t do anything when my dad left and now look at me” she gestured to herself.

“You can’t blame that on yourself Maya” Josh shook his head.

“Okay, well I pushed Riley and Lucas together because nobody does nothing. I’m not the type of person who can wait around for something to happen!” 

“Because life made you that way. Because we need people in life who take charge and those who don’t. And when you take charge do you feel like it’s the right thing to do?” Josh questioned, scheming face apparent. What was he up to?

“Yes, I’m always right” she joked.

“Maybe that’s because life told you it was the right time. It doesn’t always have to be an external force” he shrugged.

“Oh yeah, I have the asshole on speed dial. Maybe I’ll call him right now!” Maya quipped.

“You don’t have to agree with me, but you asked” Josh shrugged although she could tell he was a little hurt she wasn’t taking him seriously. 

Maya sat there and thought. How come she didn’t pursue Lucas when she started liking him but pushed him and Riley together? She always took charge and made things happen when she thought she was right. Even at the campfire she reluctant to try anything, it was weird and awkward and didn’t really feel- oh. Maybe she  _ hadn’t _ felt it was right.

“I hate you and how you always mess with my mind” she scowled at Josh, expecting a shit-eating grin in response but he just stayed with a neutral facial expression.

“Do you know your truth now?” Josh asked.

Maya shook her head ‘no’, “But maybe this’ll help me figure it out.” She stood up and grabbed her belongings.

“Where ya going peaches?” Riley asked curiously, noticing her abrupt departure.

“Gotta figure some things out” Maya declared before rushing out of the cafe. 

\--------

Maya sat on her bed, looking out the window and watched the sunset as she got her art supplies together. She pressed play on her favorite playlist and tied her hair into a ponytail to keep it out of her face. Although talking to Josh helped, she needed to do some more thinking, and art was the best way of doing that for Maya. When she drew or painted while thinking about things, her art subconsciously became a reflection of what she was feeling and often pointed her to an answer.

She started with Lucas. He’d been the most confusing thing in her life at the moment. Maya didn’t know if she liked him romantically or as a friend. She needed to figure out why she felt it wasn’t right or why she poured a smoothie over his head on their first date. Maya began to draw a campfire because what else could she draw? It represented their relationship, burning and fierce. That night in Texas was  _ their _ time together, the almost kiss, the confession- all of it. Not only that, but Lucas was like a campfire himself. He was like a cozy home, but fierce and passionate all the same. A fire, like the Texan, could get out of control. Fires can provide for and protect others. That was his thing, protecting his friends. In that regard he was like Riley, and the two shared the trait of always being good and positive. It made sense that Maya was drawn to him because she was drawn to Riley. What  _ didn’t _ make sense was that the idea of being with Lucas romantically didn’t feel right. Being friends with Riley was right. They were opposites yet alike and complemented each other like peanut butter and jelly or rootbeer and vanilla ice cream- okay maybe Maya was also super hungry, but her point was still true. Shouldn’t the same ideas apply to her and Lucas? They shared similarities too, like being reckless or outspoken. But then again, time after time he insisted that wasn’t him anymore. If that was one of the main reasons she liked him, then why did she still like him? Because he was a nice guy? Was that selfish? Maya had been told countless times that she deserved someone good, that would make her happy.

She looked at the campfire under a starry sky and sighed. Nothing. Nothing yet. Maya was missing the person that could help her out with this.

So, she began to think about Riley. Again, the subject was obvious, a purple cat; although it was more realistic than Riley’s version. Which was again, their dynamic. Maya was always thinking about how life and reality could ruin everything at every moment, meanwhile Riley was kissing pluto and dancing on the sun. Although she was the other part of the triangle, Maya had never really thought about how Riley felt about it all. Riley was the one who put Lucas and her together. She disregarded her own feelings for Lucas just to let Maya have a chance. Riley was the best friend a person could have. And Maya was hurting their friendship. Like Josh said, Riley knew her feelings. Maya on the other hand, no clue. Even though Riley always seemed to fix things and figure things out, but drawing and thinking about her still didn’t help.

The next person she could think of that would solve this was the one and only Farkle Minkus. He was close friends with all of them, and was very perceptive of other people’s emotions. He had, after all, figured out Riley still liked Lucas in the beginning of the year. Her pencil met the paper yet again, and she began to draw a bird. Last time she drew Farkle as a bird, he was small and fragile; Maya felt like she needed to protect him. But now, things have changed. While Farkle was still confident and insanely smart, he ditched the turtlenecks and got rid of his bowl cut. On the inside, he built up more self-esteem and has been even more unapologetically  _ him _ . This time around she began to draw an owl. Other than the stereotypical ‘owls are wise’, after an emotionally scarring book about owls killing mice in elementary school; Maya knew that they were dangerous. Not in the way that Lucas was when he got angry, or when Maya got a mischievous idea, but different. For both Lucas and Maya, they are blinded by their emotions and often go guns blazing. Owls knew when to stay behind and be calm, and also knew when to strike; and did both extremely well. Farkle was a natural born leader, and knew what to do in order to get what he wanted. So, if he had realized Riley still liked Lucas, what did Farkle know about how  _ she _ felt about him? He never said anything about her liking Lucas before Texas. Maybe because he knew that Maya acts on her feelings and Riley doesn’t. So why  _ didn’t   _ Maya act on her feelings? Why wasn’t she the one to tell Lucas she liked him? Was it because she was denying herself a happy ending? It wasn’t rare for her to do that, she believed it was better to not get her hopes up in case it all went away. Maya began to look back on how she was feeling before Texas. She hadn’t really been sure if she did like Lucas, just that she felt differently about him than before. 

So Maya didn’t feel like a relationship with Lucas was right. But  _ why  _ did she like him?  _ How  _ does she like him?

She continued with the next person who she thought would know something, Smackle. Isadora was the smartest of the group, and if anyone could figure out her stupid feelings, it would be a super genius. Maya began to sketch a throne, because Smackle was pretty much a queen at everything she did. Maya had no idea how someone could be amazing at just about anything when she was only good with a couple of things; art and breaking rules. How would Smackle explain how she felt? She’d probably request lab tests to see her chemical reactions and brain impulses when she saw Lucas, and recorded her face to analyze how it changed when he was around. Yeah, maybe Smackle wasn’t the best choice, she had a difficult time connecting to others and understanding relationships. 

But Zay knew people. He might not care about what people thought of them, but he understood how people worked. Especially how Maya worked. Both of them were best friends with some of the sweetest people in the world and both of them loved trouble. And Zay knew Lucas and what he was feeling. That’s if Lucas himself even knew how he felt and Riley and her. She began to draw his worn and well loved black ballet slippers. Holes were starting to form near the toes and Maya was currently saving some money to buy him new ones for Christmas. She thought that he’d be the one to figure it all out for her, but instead she just heard him telling Lucas to choose whoever made him happy; and Lucas responding that both of them did. 

Five best friends later and Maya had only made small progress on her mission to figure out the truth. And she wasn’t really sure she was even going to talk about Lucas. Maya was bold, but not  _ that _ bold. Her friends helped her through everything, and Maya was pretty sure that she wasn’t going to be able to figure out anything by herself.  

**uncle boing:** _ suggestion for your speech: do an interpretive dance to the x-files theme song and then finish by saying ‘the truth is out there’ and then leave the class. Guaranteed to get an a+.  _

Maya laughed as she read his ridiculous text and unlocked her phone to type out a reply. 

**maya hart:** _ idk if ur bro is cultured enough 2 even kno that show  _

**uncle boing:** _ lmao. have you figured out what you’re gonna talk about???? _

**maya hart:** _no,_ _i think im gonna drop out + work @ mcdonalds or something_

**uncle boing:** _ if you need to bounce ideas off w/ me i’m here. i won’t snitch to cory _

Oh yeah. Josh was her friend now. She still had one more person to draw. Maya quickly sent him a text that she’d talk to him later and returned her focus to her sketchpad.

Unlike the others, she had no idea what she would draw; so she just let her hands do the work while she thought. Despite the fact that the two could somehow know exactly what the other needed to hear or what they were feeling; there was nothing that she could think of that was undeniably Josh Matthews. Except maybe his beanie, but that was just something that made him somehow more attractive and didn’t really symbolize anything. The fact that she was thinking about how good looking he was also raised the question is she liked him romantically again. Or if she ever stopped. He  _ had _ said that he thought that she moved onto Lucas because her and Josh didn’t work out. Was that true? Josh was right about her turning into Riley and the fact that the triangle was straining Maya’s friendship with her. But she didn’t want to believe that she didn’t actually like Lucas and started this whole thing for nothing. However, Maya had to admit that being around Lucas and demanding that everything was ‘made equal’ was getting tiring and she felt like she was really only continuing to do it because she had to. She liked talking to Lucas, but the two kept fighting and every time Riley, Lucas, and her were together it was a chore. The triangle was putting a strain on everyone’s friendship.

On the other hand, hanging out with Josh felt easy, even though they hadn’t talked since the beginning of her eighth grade year. If he was there, she instantly felt like she was going to have a better time. They could be mischievous together and their conversations always felt natural. It was a quality Maya appreciated in her friends, as she loved to joke around. But while Maya always wanted to have fun and joke around, Josh still tried to be mature and responsible. Maybe Maya was just drawn to the Matthews? Both Josh and Riley tried to find the best in people and loved to help fix problems. But how she felt for the two were different. She cared for them, but Riley was her best friend, and Josh was… something else. 

Maya looked at the finished product, mountains and forests seen from the inside of a car. She realized that it was the inside of Josh’s shitty pickup truck from the 70’s, which she only knew existed because it was on some of his instagram pictures. Maya had never been inside it, yet the dashboard was full of specific details that only someone who had seen it would know. She had no idea why the mountains and forest could be seen in the distance. The only thing that could relate to that was when Shawn, Riley, Auggie, Josh, and her went upstate together. But that was in Shawn’s car and Josh had spent most of his time watching over Auggie or hanging out with Shawn and getting photography tips. 

Now she looked at the whole page full of doodles that represented her friends. It was missing something. She didn’t know what. These six people helped her be who she was, her friends are who she shares every experience with. They were the people that Maya dreamed of and needed when she was younger.

After her father left, Maya wished and wished for someone to make her happy again. To fix everything, bring her dad back, stop her mom’s crying. She had Riley, which helped a lot; but despite Riley being one of the most amazing and compassionate people Maya knows; even a four year old can’t fix everything. She thought about the statue of four friends in the tiny park she used to visit. Those four friends seemed happy, and as long as they had each other life could never hurt them. Maya began to draw the statue that she had been so enamored with, and then stared at the page again.

That was Maya. That’s what she wanted. What she had.  _ That  _ was her truth.

\--------

Maya strolled into class on Friday with nerves in stomach. She didn’t want to present on something so personal, but she also felt like she had to do it. For her.

“Maya, glad to have you back” Cory remarked as she walked in. Maya rose a confused brow and she walked towards her desk. 

Suddenly, she felt someone jump onto her back, “Peaches! You’re alive! Where have you been?!” Riley yelled into her ear so loudly that Maya was pretty sure she was deaf now. 

“Whad’ya mean?” she turned around and was pulled into a hug.

“Uh, you’ve gone AWOL for the past week? Are you sure you don’t amnesia?” Riley pulled away from the hug and began to inspect her.

“Oh” Maya said, realizing that she  _ had _ been avoiding everyone and skipped history on Wednesday to work on her project in the library- yes the  _ library _ , “Well I’m here now. Had to figure out what’s true to me.”

“Hey Maya” Lucas smiled as he, Farkle, Smackle, and Zay walked in behind Riley. 

“Huckleberry” she smiled back and plopped down in her seat. 

The bell rang and Cory quieted everyone down before starting the presentations. She was scheduled to go last because  _ of course she was _ ; so Maya just watched and slowly transformed into a ball of anxiety. Which was weird for her, because that was usually Riley’s job. 

“So that’s why I have chosen to try to be the best me I can” Lucas concluded his speech and Maya was pretty sure Riley was on the verge of tears.

“Good job Friar… Even though I still don’t like you” Cory half joked, “Maya, it’s your turn.”

She took a deep breath and attempted to compose herself before she got up and stood in front of Cory’s desk. 

“When we got this assignment, I had no idea what I was going to talk about. I wasn’t sure anything could  _ really _ be true, because life throws things at us that changed everything we believe in on it’s head. There’s things I need to face in my life, and I still haven’t done that yet, but I’ve figure out how I will” Maya began, stuffing her fists into her denim jacket.

“Go on” Cory said intrigued.

“I was five when my Dad left” Maya let out a shaky breath, “And I thought it was my fault. I believed that there was something about me that pushed others away. I was unloveable, or maybe I made people hate me so much that they couldn’t stand to be in my life. But then I had Riley and Farkle come into my life. Riley and I vowed to be best friends for life, and Farkle promised to love us both equally. Things weren’t great, but they were better. Maybe these people weren’t going to stay forever, but for now they were here. I just had to make sure not to get my hopes up.”

Maya looked around the room, Riley’s face turned into a concerned frown; and her friends expressions looked very similar. 

“Then in middle school three other amazing friends came. These  friends support me and help me realize that I  _ can _ be loved. And pretty soon I depended them in the wrong way. ‘I could never figure out myself without them. I am nothing without them’”. At this point Maya’s eyes were filling with tears and Riley was already crying.

“So, how can I figure out something that’s true? I tried drawing something that represented each of my friends to figure out what to talk about. They always help me figure out what I needed to do, so it should’ve worked right? But I only found my answer when I included something that represented me. I needed to think of myself too. This week I realized that I can exist by myself and still be worthy. But with my friends, I am even better. With them I can take on the world and change it. People need to learn how to love themselves, but it helps to have amazing people in your life. And I know this sounds a lot like ‘people change people’ but that’s not what I’m trying to say.” she noticed Cory open his mouth to interject. 

“When I eventually face and figure out what I need to, I will have people behind me. The people who truly care for you will always be there, and there is always at least one person who has your back. I’m not alone in this world, and I might have to figure out the truth for myself, but if I need it, help will be right there. That’s what’s true to me. Thank you” Maya finished and  wiped the tears off of her face with the heel of her palm. 

The class began to clap and Riley stood up and embraced Maya with a big hug. A few seconds later the rest of the group of six joined, and even though Maya was not usually one for physical mushy gushy affection, she was okay with this. 

Once the group pulled apart Cory approached her, “I gotta say, this wasn’t what I was expecting. But very well done Miss Hart.”

“Yeah me either, but I think I needed to figure this out first” Maya admitted and grinned at his praise. 

“Well, count me in for the people available if you need help” Cory softly smiled at her.

“Thank you” she grinned wider and sat back down in her seat.

\--------

Maya sat next to Riley on the couch in Topanga’s to relax after the stressful week. It was also the cafe’s first Open Mic night and Josh’s first day at the job. Farkle sat in the chair close to the door and Maya, and beside him sat Lucas. Smackle hadn’t been able to come because she left town after school for a geography competition. Meanwhile Zay sat closest to the small portable stage by the counters, as he was the emcee for the night. 

He introduced Wyatt,  who was going to perform poetry and sat back down as Josh came with a tray full of mugs. 

“Here’s your hot chocolate” Josh set the tray on the coffee table. Riley grabbed the one that was more whipped cream than hot chocolate, which Josh made even though she hadn’t specifically asked for that much. The five friends sipped on their warm beverages and Maya moaned in approval. 

“Woah, most people go to dinner first” Zay laughed.

“Looks like she just needs a drink” Farkle quipped.

“Shut up” Maya rolled her eyes and put down her mug, “It’s very good” she turned to Josh.

“Yeah, I gathered” Josh smirked and then watched Riley scoop up whipped cream with her spoon and eat it, “Do you just want a mug of whipped cream next time?” he joked.

“Oooh yes please!” Riley smiled excitedly. Josh rolled his eyes but smiled all the same. 

“How did the presentations go?” Josh asked the group but she knew he mostly wanted to know what she presented on.

“Fine” Lucas answered, “Maya’s was very good” the Texan smiled at her. 

“Yeah, she’s a little sap” Riley threw her arm around Maya. 

“Is that right?” Josh asked intrigued. 

Before anyone could elaborate, Zay spoke into the microphone, “Alright give Wyatt a hand! Very deep, very inspirational. And next up is the very lovely Maya Hart, singing a song!” 

“No. Nonononono, I am  _ not  _ going up there!” Maya yelled. 

“Please, I wanna hear your beautiful voice!” Riley pleaded.

“Nothing in this whole entire world could ever make me-”

“Ring power” Riley held up her hand.

“Don’t do this Riles” Maya shook her head angrily, giving her a warning.

“Ring power” she repeated. 

“Oh, you guys owe me  _ big _ time” Maya glared at the group. Why were they making her do this? 

She trudged up to the stage and grabbed the ukulele leaning against the wall. Maya sat down in the stool above the mic and struggled to adjust it. 

“If I see any phones I will crush them with my bare hands and make you eat the remains” she warned through gritted teeth. Her classmates put their phones back in their pockets, knowing that Maya definitely would do just that. She thought about what song to sing, but she didn’t know very many songs on the ukulele, so she picked it pretty quickly. 

As she was playing the intro, she looked at Josh, who was standing behind Lucas and gave her a two thumbs up in encouragement. Once she began to sing however, she kept her eyes glued to the floor. Maya usually sang alone in her room, she was not ready to face an audience.

“ _ ‘Cause I’m young, and I’m dumb, I do stupid things when it comes to love. And even if I always end up crying; Well, you can't blame a girl for trying’ _ ” Maya sang and looked up at Lucas; smiling a bit but found her eyes settling on Josh. If she could, she would have a fist fight with her feelings for being so damn complicated. Lucas didn’t notice though, as he smiled back at her.

When the song was finally over, Maya stomped back over the couch as the customers applauded. Josh clapped and then headed back behind the counter before she reached the group. 

“Peaches that was so amazing! You have the voice of an angel!” Riley stood and hugged her best friend.

“Yeah, yeah whatever” Maya rolled her eyes. 

“You did amazing Maya” Lucas smiled at her.

“... Thank you” she returned the gesture. 

Riley shifted uncomfortably in her seat, “I’m gonna go get some pie” she shot up and walked towards Josh. Zay got up to the mic to introduce a new performer and banter a bit with the classmates.

“I gotta go use the bathroom” Lucas excused himself. 

“You mean the outhouse?” Maya joked.

“Funny” Lucas rolled his eyes playfully and walked off. 

“That song wasn’t for Lucas was it?” Farkle asked once the two were alone.

“What?” Maya turned to him, confused.

“You said friends help you figure things out when you need it. So I asked Zay to put you on the list. And now I know how you feel” Farkle said matter-of-factly. 

“That I’m angry with you for forcing me to sing in front of everyone? Yeah you’re a modern day detective Farkle”  she scoffed.

“No. I know that you don’t like Lucas anymore.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you again for being patient and giving this fic so much love. i never imagined people would love it this much. hope you enjoy!

If last week started off good for Maya, this week was more like she was swallowing swords while attempting to ride a unicycle on top of a thin wire; and underneath her was flaming lava full of demons trying to kill her. At least it was Friday right?

It’s been a week since Farkle told her that she didn’t like Lucas anymore. After he reported his findings, Maya blew up at him before storming off; and had been ignoring him ever since. It didn’t matter if she’d heard it from Josh, Farkle forced her to do something she didn’t want to do and then just seemed to expect her to accept what he had said.

A few minutes after the incident she had gotten concerned texts from everyone; but she had only texted Riley and Josh over the weekend. Riley pestered her about it but backed off, and besides, if she ignored her Riley would’ve gotten angry. As for Josh, he was pretty respectful of the fact that she didn’t want to talk about the fight and instead distracted her with stupid conversations and about a hundred song recommendations. Although for the majority of the two days, Maya had just been thinking again. Even if she was pissed off at Farkle, she had to think about what he said. Was he right? He wouldn’t just say something like that to get the triangle to end right?

Once Monday rolled around Maya decided she was going to ignore Lucas. She couldn’t handle being around him after what Farkle had said. It would be awkward and strange and she did _not_ want to deal with it. She thought it would be hard to do since the six friends were practically glued together, but Lucas avoided both Riley and her the whole week. Riley had been worried he found someone else, someone better; while Maya suspected Farkle told Lucas what he had told her. The group had split up in twos: Riley and Maya, Farkle and Smackle, and Lucas with Zay. It wasn’t weird for the group to separate, but the six didn’t meet at Topanga’s after school that week and didn’t talk during history. Zay and Smackle joined Riley and Maya a couple of times throughout the week, but other than that, the two friends were isolated. It bothered Riley a lot more than it did Maya, at least on the outside. Maya had to be strong for Riley, but she _had_ just done a speech about how her friends would always be there for her, and barely a week later they weren’t talking.

But for now, Maya was sitting in Shawn’s car watching two raindrops race on the car window. The two were heading to the Matthews’ apartment as last minute guests for their family dinner. Shawn had driven down from upstate to spend the weekend with Maya and her mom, but Katy had caught a cold in the morning. Cory jumped on the opportunity to invite them, because Cory missed Shawn and because Riley needed Maya right now.

Shawn turned down the Nirvana song playing through the car radio before speaking, “You’re mad. Why?”

Maya raised a brow at him, “I’m not very good at this either, but I’m pretty sure parents talk about other things first and then ask what’s wrong.”

“Oh... yeah I guess you’re right” Shawn inched forward in the horrible friday night New York traffic, “So how’s school?”

“Too late. Besides, school isn’t it exactly something I want to talk about either” she shook her head and began to fiddle with the zipper on the hoodie she wore under her army green coat.

“Noted. But if I’m supposed to be your… father figure, then I think I should know what’s up.”

Maya sighed, “We’re all fighting because both Riley and I like Lucas still. Or maybe. I don’t know how I feel. But other than Riles I haven’t spoken to any of them in a week.”

“Maybe I don’t actually want to know, sounds a little too dramatic,” Shawn joked, “Has anyone attempted to reach out?”

“Just Zay and Smackle” Maya watched Shawn as he confusedly mouthed Smackle’s name, “It’s pretty bad. I want to fix it, but I don’t think I can. Lucas is the one who has to choose.”

“I thought you and I were supposed to be the same. We don’t follow any rules remember? Anyways, at this point I think what’s expected to be done can be thrown out the window. It doesn’t matter what you have to do, you just need to get your friends back” Shawn advised.

“What if I don’t know what to do?” Maya asked.

“You said you don’t know if you like him? Why?”

Maya shrugged, “Something is just… off. And I… I don’t know if I like someone else” she silently prayed to whatever entity controlled the earth- if there was one- that Shawn wouldn’t figure out that she was talking about Josh.

If he did realize, he showed no signs of it, “Cory, Topanga, and I went through the same thing a couple of times. You ever hear the story of the ski lodge?” Maya shook her head ‘no’.

“That doesn’t really surprise me, since it almost ended Cory and Topanga. In high school we went on a trip to the Mount Sun Ski Lodge. Cory got injured and stayed up talking to a girl there, Lauren. She kissed him and wrote him a soppy love letter, and he didn’t tell Topanga. She obviously found out because well, _it’s Topanga_ , and they broke up.”

“No way, Cory’s lucky enough that Topanga even looks at him!” Maya said in disbelief.

Shawn nodded in agreement, “Anyways, I tried to get them back together but then Lauren” he said the girl’s name with extreme detest, “Showed up and Topanga told Cory to go out with Lauren. She couldn’t be with someone who wasn’t ‘absolutely sure’.”

“Kinda like Riley stepping aside for me and Lucas” Maya realized.

“Yeah. Cory had a good time with Lauren and came to me all confused and stupid. So we weighed out which one he liked better with jellybeans-”

“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard” she scoffed.

“Hey, we were boys in highschool. I’m sure you know by now that they aren’t the smartest people” Maya nodded for him to continue, “It ended up being equal but Cory realized he could live without Lauren. Topanga, not so much. Besides he answered Topanga first for every question I asked. It was obvious he cared about her more. So I guess the question is can you live without being with Lucas?”

“First of all, this isn’t the 90’s and a woman can be her own person without a man. But I don’t know how I can really apply that to this situation. I mean, the three of us have been friends for so long, and Lauren just kind of came in and only cared about Cory” Maya pointed out.

“Good thing I have another story and the three of us. Once upon a time, Shawn and Topanga kissed” Shawn announced.

Maya felt her jaw drop, and she blinked back at him in disbelief.

“Yup” Shawn nodded at her reaction, “But it was for a commercial in college. Cory wasn’t really an actor so the director paired Topanga and I up. He asked us to kiss so we did, and Cory blew up. We insisted it wasn’t a real kiss, but Cory said we had… um, _unresolved_ tension and that we should go out on a date to see if we like each other.”

“Oh boy” Maya grumbled, knowing that this was a lot more applicable to the current triangle.

“We did it just to shut him up, and of course didn’t realize any hidden feelings. But Cory was still freaking out so Angela kissed him. She showed him that kissing others may feel nice but it doesn’t _mean_ anything unless you love them.” Shawn finished.

“How do I know if I like Lucas if we didn’t actually kiss?” Maya questioned.

“Well, first of all, that’s a good thing. Never kiss a boy ever in your life” Maya rolled her eyes, “But maybe your answer is the fact that he _didn’t_ end up kissing you.”

Maya stayed silent and thought about what Shawn had said as he parked in the street out front of the Matthews’ apartment. Maya hopped out of the car and bounded up the steps, Shawn trailing not far behind. The two announced they were there to a giggling Auggie who buzzed them up.

“What’s up losers!” Maya yelled as she threw open the door but stopped in her tracks at what was happening in the kitchen.

Josh, Cory, and Topanga were currently singing and doing choreographed dance to a Destiny’s Child song while Riley and Auggie were laughing uncontrollably. Maya was not sure if she was amused or disturbed, but she did know that she wanted to capture this moment by filming it.

“ _You make me wanna throw my pager out the window, Tell MCI to cut the phone calls!_ ” Topanga sang as she flipped the burgers on the pan and shook her hips.

“ _Break my lease so I can move, Cause you a bug a boo, a bug a boo_ ” Cory spun around.

“ _I wanna put your number on the call block, Have AOL make my email stop_ ” Josh sang into a whisk.

“ _Cause you a bug a boo. You buggin' what? You buggin' who? You buggin' me!_

 _And don't you see it ain't cool_ ” they all belted out at once.

“Pagers? MCI?” Auggie asked with confusion.

“AOL? E-mail? Is this song about the dark ages?” Maya raised a brow.

“That’s the 90’s and 2000’s for ya kiddo” Shawn remarked.

“Sorry, this is a camera free concert” Cory strutted over in time with the music and plucked her phone out of her hand and deleting the video before handing it back, “Hello Shawn” he enveloped his best friend into a hug.

“Cor” Shawn greeted, “If that’s even you anymore.”

Cory rolled his eyes, “Oh c’mon, we all know I’m not the cool one.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I lost a lot of cool points from Shawn right now too” Josh joked as he walked over and gave him a hug.

“Nah, I still respect you” Shawn patted his back, “Him, not so much” he looked Cory up and down.

Josh smiled at Maya before heading back to the kitchen to help Topanga while Shawn and her hung their coats.

“How ya holdin up honey?” Maya asked as she sat next to Riley at the table.

Riley wiped a tear off of her face that was left behind from laughing so hard, “Alright. Better now that everyone is here” she smiled.

“Oh! Maya I have an update on the robot psych professor” Josh said from the counter where he sat, and reached for a potato wedge off of the baking pan. Topanga slapped away his hand but he sneaked one when she turned around.

“You mean Hippocampus Prime?” Maya quipped, reminding him of the name they gave him over text.

“Yes. Today he just stopped in his tracks and was silent for like a minute and then stood ramrod straight and said ‘my apologies, I lost my train of thought’. He literally _shut down_ and then resetted!”

Cory rolled his eyes from his chair at the table, “Teachers can forget what they were doing Josh. That doesn’t mean they aren’t human, in fact it something that _makes_ us human.”

“Ugh, spare me the inspirational lesson. Besides, it wasn’t like walking into a room and forgetting what you were going to do. He was on this whole rant about BPD and then just stopped” Josh rejected his theory.

“Maybe all teachers are robots” Maya offered and began to stare at Cory like she was inspecting him.

“Nuh uh, no robot could possible have the dance moves that I just performed” Cory retorted with sass.

Topanga pretended to cough, “It wasn’t that good.” Cory gasped and feigned having his heart broken.

“I thought it was entertaining Dad” Riley pipped in.

“Kiss up” Auggie ‘coughed’ into his hand just like Topanga did.

Cory rolled his eyes and turned to Riley, “Thank you sweetie” he beamed.

“I meant you were so bad it was fun to watch” Riley smirked. Cory’s eyes widened in surprise.

“I love it when I’m a bad influence on you” Maya praised, but was mostly glad that Riley was happy enough to joke around.

“These family dinners are gonna stop if I’m just going to be ganged up on. You can eat from the trash” Cory crossed his arms.

“I get to decide who eats where and what because _I_ make the food” Topanga declared, “Which, by the way, is ready” she set the burgers and fries on the table.

“Thank you Topanga, I don’t get these home cooked meals too often” Shawn smiled at her as he sat next to Auggie. Josh made his way to the table and sat on the other side of Riley, across from his sister-in-law.  

“You're always welcome here if you need them” Topanga grinned back.

“So, Riley” Shawn addressed her and the brunette’s head snapped up, “What’s new with you?”

Maya glared at him across the table, because now all Riley was going to think about was how everyone was fighting.

“Alright” she gave a noncommittal shrug, “High school is a lot harder than I thought it would be.”

Shawn nodded, “I’ve been there. What’s having your old man for history again like? Is he up to the high school standard?” He joked. Maya put her head in hands, he was asking all of the _wrong_ questions.

“I’m an excellent teacher thank you very much,” Cory answered, “Although this week the students haven’t been talking very much. Not really sure why.”

Suddenly there was a loud _thump_ and Cory jolted in his seat, “OW!” he looked between Josh and Topanga in disbelief, “Both of you?! _At the same time_?! I’m pretty sure all my toes are broken.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about” they shrugged and said at the same time. The two smirked at their mutual goal to stop Cory from being an idiot and fist bumped each other.

“I don’t need to be sheltered” Riley furrowed her brows.

Maya opened her mouth to speak but Josh beat her to it, “We know. I just want you to have a nice dinner and not have to think about everything for 30 minutes. You’re allowed to take a break from it all.” Okay, not what Maya was going to say, but probably what Riley needed. Riley smiled fondly at her uncle before continuing to eat her dinner.

\--------

After dinner everyone split up, Josh going to hang out with Auggie and the adults off to gossip; leaving Maya and Riley to go to her room and talk. Maya closed the door behind them as Riley rushed to the bay window and opened up the seats to rummage in the compartments beneath them.

“Woah, calm down Riles” she made her way over to her usual spot and sat down.

Riley pulled out a big bag of gummy bears and sat down, “Sad Riley is about to kick in and she’s gonna need candy Peaches.”

“We don’t have to think about it tonight. I’d like to be happy for just a few hours” Maya reminded her.

“No, we need to figure this out. I can’t be happy and not be friends with them. I at least need to know if we can even fix this” Riley got a huge handful of gummy bears and stuffed them in her mouth.

“Okay” Maya agreed, “So we know why this whole thing started.”

“Yeah, you and Farkle fought- which you still won’t tell me what it was about” Riley pointed out, though her words were muffled because she was still chewing her candy.

“It was about the triangle. This whole thing is about the triangle. Our fight was just the final straw before everything blew up” Maya reached over and grabbed some gummy bears for herself.

Riley frowned, “Well we need Lucas to help us figure this out. And we aren’t exactly talking to Lucas.”

“Maybe we don’t. Why do you like Lucas?” Maya asked.

“Yes” Riley answered as she readjusted to sit cross-legged.

“That’s not an answer Riles” she raised a brow in confusion.

“Oh- sorry. It’s just that the extent of triangle talk is asking each other if we still like him and I’m just used to saying yes” Riley tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, “I like Lucas because he’s kind and protective. We can talk about anything and it’s so natural. Why do _you_?”

Maya shrugged, “He’s a good guy. I dunno.”

“Maybe if you think about when you started liking him you’ll figure it out” Riley offered.

“I think it was the semi-formal” she said finally, “We were dancing and it just… it felt nice to be with him, like someone wanted to be with me. I was happy for the first time in awhile”

“You and I have very different views of that night” Riley remarked.

“Yeah, you were dancing with Cheese Souffle” Maya laughed.

Riley sighed, “So we both like him. And we’ve gotten nowhere. I miss talking to him, talking to everybody.”

“See, that’s one thing I can’t understand. You _love_ talking with him but sometimes I just wanna punch him. Like when he tried to talk about how he helped a horse give birth on our date. God, it was so cheesy I poured a smoothie over his head” Maya scoffed.

“He told you that story?” Riley asked, looking deflated.

“Well not really, I kinda poured it before he could tell me what happened”

“He told me that when we went to the library. That was when I knew he was someone special to me. It was like we _understood_ each other” Riley admitted.

“What do you mean?” she questioned.

“Even if we don’t talk or didn’t tell the other person something, we just _know_. Like when Lucas knew I was better than to not help you. Or when I knew what he was going to say that he didn’t want to hurt either of us. It’s because we know how the other person works” Riley explained, a smile forming on her face.

“The only thing either of us know is that I’m gonna ‘ha-hurr’ him or call him Ranger Rick” Maya half-joked.

Riley laughed before continuing, “One of my favorite things to do is talk to him. I think that’s important in a relationship. Being able to talk to and understand each other.”

“ _When are you and I going to have a good conversation? One where you don’t insult me and I feel like I can tell you anything”_

_"Talking is important in a relationship”_

Maya let out a shaky breath at her realization. Her and Lucas didn’t understand each other the way he and Riley did. The thing that Lucas valued most, he felt he wasn’t getting from her.

If she couldn’t do it with Lucas, than why was it so easy with Josh? The two didn’t talk for almost a year and he figures out what’s wrong with her in fifteen minutes. Before that, Maya could observe and understand him so well, to the point that Josh hadn’t even realized some of it himself. Conversations between the two were always easy, other than the fight they had a month ago. But even then, when they made up, both of them said the right things.

“I need to go” she said suddenly.

“Maya, I didn’t mean to make you feel ba-”

“No, that’s not it” Maya took Riley’s hand in hers, “I just have to go fix everything. For all of us.”

Riley smiled, “Sounds stressful. You need help from your favorite girl?”

She shook her head, “I got this.”

\--------

Maya tapped her toes impatiently as she waited for the crosswalk sign to show the man walking. She was already nervous and standing around was _not_ helping. When it was finally their turn to walk, the people in front of her were apparently a hybrid of sloth, turtle, and human because they were the slowest people Maya had ever had the displeasure of being around.

She was surprised that Lucas even agreed to meet with her. Even though she knew Lucas hated conflict and probably wanted to make up, he hated having to talk things out. Feelings were tricky for every teenager, but Lucas had that to deal with _and_ his constant need to keep everyone happy. It probably helped that on Saturday’s neither Josh or Katy worked; and none of their classmates really came to Topanga’s on the weekend. Riley and Maya came sometimes, but she knew that the Matthews’ drove out to the pumpkin patch for the afternoon to prepare for Halloween and have some family bonding time.

The bell above the door rang as she entered the cafe to find Lucas already sitting in the two chairs that they had sat in last time they were alone in Topanga’s together. Their first date. Their god awful, extremely awkward first date. Hopefully this went better.

“Wow Maya, you’re ten minutes early! I’m proud” he remarked as she sat down.

“Yeah, yeah. How long have you been here Huckleberry?”

“Twenty minutes” Lucas admitted, “Hope you don’t mind but I got us hot cocoa instead of smoothies. Figured you’d be less likely to pour something hot over my head if this goes south.”

Maya smiled, “We’ll see” she watched him gulp nervously as she took a sip of the warm chocolatey drink.

“So uh… we haven’t talked in awhile” he started awkwardly.

“Thank you for that observation, Sundance. You know, Riley’s really sad about it” she informed.

Lucas’ face fell, “Really? I didn’t ever want that to happen. To be the reason that she’s hurting… I hate that. I’m supposed to be a reason that she _smiles_.”

“Don’t leave _too_ much room to care about me” Maya grumbled.

“Sorry. How do _you_ feel about it?” he asked.

“It sucks. But I was kinda relieved. I was gonna ignore _you_ after the incident with Farkle” she confessed.

“Why _did_ you get in a fight with Farkle?” Lucas asked as he crossed one leg over the other.

“I figured he told you. It was about the triangle. He forced me to sing to figure something out and… He told me that he thought I didn’t like you anymore” she admitted.

“Do you?” he raised a brow.

“That’s why we’re talking. To figure it out. But first, why’d _you_ start ignoring Riley and I? I thought it was because Farkle told you what happened but evidently that’s not true” Maya readjusted the big blue sweater she was wearing.

“This is gonna sound so stupid” Lucas shook his head in embarrassment.

“So is everything else you say. Spit it out” she deadpanned.

Lucas sighed, “Last Saturday, Farkle told Zay and I to meet him here. He told us the triangle had to end and I needed to make a decision. So we…. We weighed jellybeans. Each of you represented a different color and they asked me questions to see which one of you I like more.”

“Oh my god” Maya rolled her eyes.

“I know, I know, it wasn’t my idea.”

“ _God_ highschool boys are idiots!” she exclaimed, “Y’know Cory and Shawn did the same exact thing?”

“Really?” he asked in disbelief.

Maya nodded, “Hey… which one of us did it pick?”

“Neither of you. It was equal” he answered.

“Which one of us did you answer with first?” she inquired bravely, remembering that Shawn said Cory had picked Topanga first every time.

“What?”

“If it was equal that means you answered each question with _both_ of us. But you had to have said one name first” Maya explained.

Lucas hesitated, “...Riley bu-”

“Why didn’t you kiss me at the campfire?” she interrupted.

“I… I don’t know. It didn’t feel right. I thought that’s what I was supposed to do but it’s didn’t seem right or fair” he answered truthfully.

“Unfair to who? Me? You? Us? Riley?” Maya questioned.

“Everyone. We were all trying to figure out our feelings and for me to do something like that would be too rushed” Lucas reached for his mug and took a long drink and kept it in his hands.

“That’s who we are Lucas. You and I just jump in and see what happens. We’re the sense in ‘sense and sensibility’”

“I don’t _want_ to be the ‘sense’. When Riley and I went on our date in eighth grade, we jumped in but we weren’t ready. Besides, Harper said that we need both to have a good relationship” he reminded her.

“Since when do I listen to my teachers?” Maya rolled her eyes.

“I thought you liked her?” he raised a brow.

Maya grumbled and nodded.

“I have a question now. Why did you pour that smoothie over my head?”

Maya thought for a moment, “I dunno, I wanted us to talk but you just started off with something annoyingly sappy.”

“Aren’t couples supposed to do that sort of thing? Be able to talk and be all… _feely_?” Lucas finished with lack of a better word.

“Not _all_ couples. Especially people who are just starting out… I mean that was our first date and like, the second time both of us acted romantically at the same time” she explained her thoughts.

“Riley and I-”

“I don’t want to hear about you and Riley. We’re trying to figure _us_ out” she sighed.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. If you didn’t want to hear something important to me then what _did_ you want to talk about?” he prodded further.

“Joke around, your beliefs towards hummus, anything. Just… I don’t like to jump right into all the emotional stuff” Maya tucked her legs towards her body and rested her arms on them.

“Hummus?” Lucas laughed into his mug of hot chocolate.

Maya punched his arm, “You know what I mean.”

Lucas’ eyes widened as he looked down at his arm.

“What’s the matter cowboy? You look like a spooked horse” she commented with southern twang.

“Just… Riley did that when she was trying to prove we were just ‘brother and sister’. When she was trying to be the ‘old us’.’” he explained.

“When did you stop seeing you and I as the ‘old us’? When did you start to like me?” she untucked her legs and stretched them out before sitting as normally as one Maya Hart could.

“The campfire. I had just been rejected by Riley and I care about you a lot so… When I found out you liked _me_ I thought that maybe I liked you too” he fiddled with his hands in his lap, “Does that make me a bad person?”

“No. I mean _I_ started liking _you_ after I thought you and Riley were more like siblings” Maya admitted.

“Why? I mean, you always teased me and I’m pretty sure you told Riley that you and I would ‘never ever date’. You changed your mind because of a theory you had?” he asked rudely, which wasn’t his intention.

Maya decided to ignore his tone, “It was the semi-formal. When we danced it just felt like something clicked. Like everything had changed.”

“But the whole time I was saying that we weren’t dancing” Lucas said, confused by her reasoning.

“Yeah, but that’s just an excuse. I did it all the time for _you_. Besides, it was nice to get attention from someone after Josh rejected me-”

Maya gasped, realizing what she had just said. Lucas’ eyebrows quirked up in surprise.

Did she just say the reason why she liked him was because he was there when Josh wasn’t?

“Do you like me Maya?” Lucas broke the silence.

“I… I don’t. I don’t like you like that. Do you?” she admitted.

“No. I think we both just… got confused. We were drawn together because we were both hurting. We wanted somebody who knew what we were going through, so they wouldn’t do that to _us_ ” he thought out loud.

“We care about each other…” she started.

“But not like that” Lucas finished.

“Like brother and sister” Maya realized.

Lucas chuckled, “Like brother and sister.”

The two sat in a comfortable and happy silence because _oh my god they finally figured it out_ . _They ended the triangle_.

“Hey Huckleberry, do you remember what I said to you when we first met?” Maya asked after gulping down the rest of her cocoa.

“Not really” he admitted, “I just remember being really confused as to why you were talking to me.”

“You? Confused? _Never_ ” she teased.

Lucas rolled his eyes, “What did you say?”

“‘ _Hi, I'm Maya. You're really cute. We should hang out sometime. You make me happy. You don't pay enough attention to me. This isn't working out. It's you, not me. We can still be friends, not really._ ’ Ring a bell?” Maya recited, and he nodded, “Well scratch the ‘not really’ part. Just because we aren’t ‘together’ doesn’t mean I don’t still want to be your friend. And by friends I mean reluctant acquaintances.”

“Me too. I never wanted to hurt either of you. Friends?” he asked nervously.

“Yeah” she smiled, and pulled him into a hug. As they pulled apart she gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek.

“Hey! Didn’t we _just_ say friends?” Lucas exclaimed as he touched his cheek, scandalized.

“Relax Ranger Rick. A kiss doesn’t mean anything unless you love the person. Besides, our ‘relationship’ would feel like a waste of everyone’s time if we didn’t actually kiss” she quipped, and shot him an innocent wink.

“Well if you don’t mind, I gotta go prepare to talk to the person who will make it mean something” Lucas smirked and stood up.

“Okay, ew. But I think I have someone I need to talk to as well” Maya confessed.

“Good luck” he smiled as he strolled out the door.

“You too Hop-along!” she called, and took out her phone as he disappeared into the New York city streets.

 **maya hart:** _we need to talk. meet @ cntrl park spot in 20???_

She got a thumbs up in response and took a deep breath before leaving Topanga’s.

\--------

Despite being the one who set up the meeting, Maya was a little late, and saw him sitting at the bench already. Although that was to be expected of Farkle Minkus. The boy had a perfect attendance.

Farkle stood up when he noticed her approaching and stuffed his hands into his black pilot jacket.

“I’m sorry” they both said at the same time as they met in the middle.

“You’re apologizing?! That’s unheard of!” Farkle raised a brow.

“Shut up doofus, don’t piss me off” Maya rolled her eyes, “Besides, you’re one to talk ‘Mr. I’m-Always-Right-Because-Science.’”

“That’s not even a full sentence” she shot him a look, “Sorry, sorry. Shall we walk and talk?”

Maya nodded and they began to stroll along the pathway, orange and yellow leaves crunching underneath their feet.

“I’m sorry that I blew up at you. It’s just… I would’ve appreciated a better, less manipulative approach to get me to figure it out” she broke the silence.

“I know, and I’m sorry I did that. Scientists will do anything to get results, but I was just so set on getting the triangle to end that I didn’t think about the fact that you’re a person with feelings” Farkle admitted.

“Yeah, complicated and annoying feelings.”

Farkle looked up at the canopy of trees surrounding the path before looking at Maya, “Did you figure them out?”

Maya nodded, “Lucas and I talked this afternoon. We figured out that we like each other as friends” she smiled in relief that the triangle was over.

“He’s probably with Riley right now being a huge dork” he laughed at the thought, “Wish I could see it.”

“Oh, don’t worry. I’m sure Riley will call Smackle and I, and Lucas will call you and Zay; and tell us _all_ about it. We’ll be sick of hearing about it in no time” she laughed.

“Yeah. I think I’ll be happy for a while though. I’m happy for them. I’m happy for all of you that it’s over. It must’ve been hard… I’m especially happy for _you_ Maya” he announced.

“Me? Why?” she raised a brow in confusion.

“I mean, you went through the whole identity crisis” her jaw dropped over the fact that he had realized, “And you’ve always had a tough time discerning your emotions. But now you know.”

“Huh. You’re right” she saw him smirk out of the corner of her eye, “Don’t say anything” she snapped.

He put his hands up in surrender and they stopped on Balcony Bridge to look out on the water. The two stood in comfortable silence for a few minutes, and Maya’s hands were itching for her pencil and sketchbook as she looked at the scenery.

“Y’know I love fall? The colors all around us are so beautiful, and it just feels… cozy” Maya thought out loud.

“Everything’s _dying_ Maya” Farkle deadpanned.

“I know. But even though everything is dying, it’s so beautiful. It’s not _bad_ ” she explained.

“Hm. I’m more of a spring person myself” he decided.

“Wow, surprising” Maya’s voice dripped in sarcasm.

“What’s that supposed to mean?!” he shouted a little too loudly.

“Please. Spring is all about new beginnings. ‘Farkle time’, ‘Turtleneck’, ‘Donnie Barnes’, ‘Former arch-nemesis current love-isis’” she rolled her eyes.

“Oh. New beginnings” he echoed.

“Yup” Maya popped the ‘p’.

“Speaking of them, what about you and Josh?” Farkle asked.

“You’re too nosy for your own good. But, I don’t know. I like him again- No, I never _stopped_ liking him” she corrected herself.

“So are you gonna go full Maya mode and go ask him out?” he turned to her.

Maya shook her head ‘no’, “I’ve changed now. I want to be his friend first. Besides, it doesn’t feel right for me to do that. And one thing I’ve learned from this whole triangle mess is to not rush if it doesn’t feel right.”

Farkle smiled at her response and opened his mouth before the two of them were interrupted by their phones.

 **riles:** _EMERGENCY SLEEPOVER RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

 **chipmunk:** _calm down bubbles, i will arrive shortly._

 **maya hart:** _kk_ _b there soon honey_

“Lucas just texted Zay and I a bunch of exclamation points and ‘my house’. Think he did it?” Farkle smirked.

“Riles just did the same. God, they are so lame” she rolled her eyes but smiled all the same.

“Yeah, but we love them anyways” Farkle smiled.

Maya nodded in agreement before saying goodbye and bounding off to listen to Riley be all happy and a hopeless romantic for the night. On any other day with any other person she would’ve gouged her eyes out just at the thought, but Riley deserved to be happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry that the ending was a little bit lame. i was going to add the girls' sleepover but i felt it was kinda short and not necessary bc riley and lucas' talk was pretty much the same one as ski lodge except they kissed.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am SO sorry this took me so long to write. i've been super busy with school and got hit with writers block. thank you for reading this, i hope you enjoy! this chapter has some underage drinking and talk about sex btw.

When Josh Matthews envisioned his day, he didn’t think he would be taking photographs of a spoiled eight year old dressed as Elle Woods from  _ Legally Blonde _ , who just so happened to be married to his seven year old nephew. Although he supposed Halloween always brought out the unexpected, and anything related to his brother’s family was bound to be insane.

“C’mon handsome, get my good angle, I’m not paying you for mediocre pictures!” Ava yelled.

Josh sighed, “Unfortunately, I’m actually not getting any money for this.”

“I’m giving you my delicious pumpkin bread, you can make it through this” Topanga reminded him.

“Besides,  _ every _ angle is your good angle” Auggie complimented next to her, although Josh was pretty sure he just saying that because he wanted to stop taking pictures. 

They were outside of Topanga’s which was decorated for Halloween. It was mostly cutesy with hanging paper bats, and jack-o-lanterns carved by the Matthews. Or, more accurately, drawn by the Matthews and carved by Topanga, as she was a perfectionist. Riley of course, had a cat on hers. Maya fought with Topanga for a week to put up scarier decorations and drench the customers in fake blood, but his sister-in-law obviously said no; she was not in the mood for a lawsuit. The two compromised by letting Maya create a truly disturbing jack-o-lantern that never failed to make Josh jump as he was locking up after a late night shift. 

Cory and Topanga had recruited him to take pictures of Auggie and Ava as well as Riley and her friends, who were sitting on the steps. Josh was the best photographer available, and Cory was a huge sentimentalist. Thankfully it was only five in the evening, so he had enough time to get ready for his  _ own _ Halloween night, which consisted of partying with Andrew, Charlotte, and Jasmine. 

“Alright time for my solo shots pumpkin” Ava declared.

“Pumpkin?” He raised an inquisitive brow.

She flipped her hair over her shoulder, “It’s seasonal” Ava pouted her lips into a kissy face. He rolled his eyes and knelt back down on the ground to take more pictures.

“Riley, I think these are the worst costumes we’ve had so far” Maya grumbled from the stairs, who had antlers on her head and deer makeup on her face.

Riley gasped, “Woodland creatures is a  _ great _ costume idea! Besides, I get to be a bunny” she beamed, pulling on her ears.

“Yeah, it’s cute” Lucas smiled at her. 

“Shut up you furry” Maya quipped and Josh couldn’t help but let out a booming laugh. Maya smirked at both her joke and his reaction.

“I don’t get it” Riley frowned in confusion.

“That’s a good thing” Zay reassured while adjusting the fox ears on his head.

“Hey, I can enjoy how adorable my girlfriend is without being called names” Lucas took Riley’s hand.

Oh yeah, Mr. Howdy and Riley were together now. They’d been dating only a week, but they were already whipped for each other. Although, they kind of always had been. Josh found out the big news when he stopped by the Matthews’ earlier in the week. As soon as he entered the apartment, Riley dragged him into his room and told him all about their conversation. She explained that Maya and Lucas had figured out that they didn’t like each other romantically, but as friends. She recounted all of the almost annoyingly romantic things Lucas had said to her and vice versa. When she pulled out an engagement box, Josh had a mini heart attack. Even though he was supportive of them, he did not want his niece to be engaged to be married. He calmed down once he saw that there was no ring, but a purple jelly bean. It had something to do with how he chose her, and it sounded vaguely familiar to a story Topanga had told him when she was mad at Cory. 

“Alright Ava, how about we let Riley and Auggie take some pictures together?” Topanga smiled passive aggressively.

“But I nee-” Topanga picked up the blonde ball of fire and placed her on her lap. Ava tried to squirm loose but his sister-in-law kept a tight grip.

“Don’t worry snookums, we’ll get together some other time to take pictures” Ava smiled at him.

Josh shuddered, “I think I’ll pass.”

“I’ll hang out with you Ava” Auggie smiled at his ‘wife’.

“Yeah, whatever” Ava dismissed him before she began twirling her hair while staring at Josh.

Auggie looked between his uncle and her, “Stay away from my woman!”

“That won’t be a problem. Besides, the fact that she keeps changing my nickname makes me feel unimportant” he joked.

“So you’d rather be called Uncle Boing?” Maya asked from the steps.

Josh rolled his eyes, “No, and  _ please _ stop calling me that.”

“Boing, when will you get it in your head that once you get a nickname, I’m not gonna get rid of it” Maya shook her head in joking pity.

“Whatever you say  _ ferret _ ” Josh took another picture of his niece and nephew after he saw Maya’s eyes narrow.

“Wait, I thought that she’s a deer” Lucas asked, with a confused puppy dog look on his face.

Maya sighed, “And that’s why I could never date you.”

“ _ I _ think that you should be doing nothing with no one, and you girls should be locked up in the house!” Cory glared at Lucas, although in his ill-fitting Justin Timberlake costume he was even less intimidating than usual. 

“Dad, you’re overreacting” Riley rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, Sir, you can’t pretend that you hate me forever” Lucas crossed his arms.

“I can do whatever I want because I’m an adult!” Cory yelled.

“Sweetie, stop, you’re starting to sound like our daughter-in-law” Topanga put a hand on his shoulder, referring to Ava, “Let’s go take a couple pictures with the kids.”

Cory sent one more sharp glare to Lucas before getting up and standing with Riley and Auggie.

“Speaking of doing things” Maya inched forward with a mischievous grin on her face, “What’cha doin tonight?”

“No, I’m not falling for that again” Josh shook his head, remembering when she crashed his first NYU party. 

“Relax, I’ve learned my lesson” Josh raised a skeptical brow, “Okay, maybe not. Maybe I’m just wondering what college kids do on Halloween. Ya know, other than being evil and torturing cats and trashing graves-” she was interrupted by Riley’s gasp.

“Don’t worry Riley, most people don’t do that anymore” Farkle reassured, although he had to lie in order to do so.

“Why don’t you just focus on  _ your _ night?” Josh suggested as he adjusted his stance to get a better picture. 

“You’re no fun” Maya pouted and went back to the steps.

“Fun is subjective. One may perceive attending parties as fun, while us intellectual superiors find that learning and transcending the majority of the populus is exhilarating” Smackle informed.

“Can you speak English?” Maya blinked in confusion.

“Oh great, the annoying line in every piece of teenage media” Smackle rolled her eyes.

“You guys are dum-dums, we are smart” Farkle translated. 

“Well if you would’ve said it like that!” she threw her hands up.

Josh was still baffled that he was friends and family with all of these weirdos. Before he could get too lost in his astonishment, Topanga ushered everyone inside of the bakery for some warm apple cinnamon cider, hot chocolate, and baked goods for the group.

“Here’s your pay” Topanga handed him a bag and a to-go cup of coffee.

“Thanks, this’ll be my meal for the next week” he peeked inside the paper bag to find her famous pumpkin bread and felt his mouth already watering. The seasonal treat always reminded him of being home.

Cory showed up at his wife’s side and placed a witches hat upon her head, “What are you trying to say” she glared at her husband.

“Nothing, nothing! Just trying to spread some festivity” his brother put his hands up in surrender.

“Uh huh” Topanga looked at him dubiously before facing Josh again, “So I gave you tomorrow off. I know that a lot of classes are cancelled anyways and I want to let you…. Sleep in.” she winked.

“Please, honey, he’s probably going to be fighting a hangover” Cory scoffed at her ‘naivety’. 

“Yes, I know that. I just don’t really want to say that in front of the kids or make Josh uncomfortable” she rolled her eyes. Josh turned to look at the others, although they seemed way too busy with their own conversation to notice what Cory said.

“Okay, can you come outside with me for a sec Josh? We need to talk about something… adult” Cory faced him.

Josh began to worry; he had no idea what ‘adult’ entailed. He grabbed his food and put it in his backpack along with his camera before following Cory outside.

“Alright, as much as I want to believe you won’t drink or party tonight… You’re a college boy so I can’t stop you from that” Cory started once they were on the patio.

“ _ This _ is what you needed to talk about? I went to my first party in sophomore year Cory” Josh rolled his eyes.

“You got invited  _ that _ young?!” his eyes widened in surprise.

“I was more Eric than Cory in that regard” Josh shrugged, “My schemes weren’t for trying to be popular or get girls. But I didn’t really care about that anyways.”

“Oh, isn’t it great to be you!” Cory mocked and crossed his arms.

“Cool, so if this is over with, I’m gonna go” Josh sighed and pointed his thumb towards the city.

“Wait! This is important” Cory retrieved his wallet and pulled out a condom.

“Oh. My. God.”

“You’re probably going to find a pretty girl-”

“No. No. We are  _ not _ having this talk” he pointed his finger sternly at Cory.

“What happens if you get an STD?! Get a girl pregnant?! I’m too young to be an uncle!” Cory cried out.

“Jesus, I know how to be safe. What do you think I am, twelve?” he walked in a circle to keep himself from blowing up at Cory. This was mortifying, embarrassing, emotionally scarring, and frankly insulting. He’d rather have to go back to the conversation about ‘the birds and bees’ with his dad, who somehow still had no idea how to explain it after Eric and Cory.

“There’s a difference between knowing and experience” Cory stated.

“Well I guess it’s good thing I have both. Can you just put that away and let me leave?” Josh nodded towards the foil still in his brother’s hand.

“Y-you… What?! I didn’t even- Now that I think about it  _ you  _ ruined my first time!” Cory accused him.

“What?! Actually, I don’t even want to know. Piece of advice, don’t be this awkward with your kids” Josh began to walk towards the stairs.

Cory scoffed, “I was great.”

“Keep telling yourself that” he waved goodbye without looking behind him.

\--------

After grabbing some dinner, Josh headed back to the NYU campus to meet Andrew, Jasmine, and Charlotte at his dorm room before they went to the college costume party. Andrew had been the most excited for it, to the point where it would get annoying and borderline obsessive. They had an argument a few nights ago at two in the morning over whether or not Josh should buy a dog in order to win the contest. Winners got bragging rights as well as half priced coffee and books for the rest of the semester, which  _ was _ an enticing prize. However, buying and taking care of a 150 pound great dane was not enough reason to more “accurately depict” the Mystery Inc. gang. 

The four were pretty confident that dressing as the meddling kids would earn them a win in the group costume category. Andrew would dress as Fred, as he felt like the leader and ‘looks damn good in an ascot’. Jasmine and Velma were practically the same person, both were extremely curious or, in Jasmine’s case,  _ nosy _ .  Charlotte was Daphne, more so because of Andrew’s own interests in dating her than her personality, although Josh was pretty sure both of them knew how to take a man down in 10 seconds. Meanwhile, Josh mostly just wanted a night to let loose and get drunk, which earned him the Shaggy costume; in addition to his brown hair. He had convinced Andrew that just a simple plush Scooby backpack would suffice, although he was pretty sure that his roommate was probably freaking out about that at this very moment.

Josh navigated through the crowded hallways full of Hogwarts students, slutty animals, and immature freshman dressed up as bananas before he made it to his dorm room. The whiteboard that hung on the door was now covered in little pumpkins, presumably drawn by Charlotte and Jasmine. Josh wiped off the more crude drawings as he fished the room key from his pockets and unlocked the door.

“Where were you?!” Andrew stood up from his bed as Josh walked in and closed the door behind him. Despite being yelled at by him, Josh had to admit that he  _ did _ look good in orange. 

“What are you, my paranoid girlfriend?” Josh joked as he shrugged off his jacket.

“Yes” Charlotte and Jasmine said simultaneously. 

Andrew rolled his eyes, “It’s 8:40 and you aren’t even dressed!” Josh shook his head at his best friend’s ridiculousness and went to the bathroom to start brushing his teeth. Green toothbrush in hand, he leaned against the doorframe to be able to observe everyone’s antics.

“Calm down, you’re getting too competitive” Charlotte warned and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah, besides you’re the one who said we have to be fashionably late so we ‘don’t seem too eager’” Jasmine reminded him from her spot on Josh’s bed.

“Plus my costume isn’t even that complicated to put on” he said around his toothbrush.

“Oh yeah, gang up the black guy” Andrew threw his hands in the air, “How refreshing.”

Josh sighed and spit out his toothpaste in the sink before removing his shirt. Jasmine let out a whistle and he sent her a pointed look before putting on his costume.

Charlotte stood up to mess up Josh’s hair to closer achieve the seventies stoner look. She smiled at her handiwork as Andrew glared behind her like a jealous five year old.

“How do you still look good?” Jasmine groaned, although he knew that neither of them actually liked each other.

“Do you have the backpack?” Josh asked her as he turned off the bathroom light.

Jasmine nodded and opened her overnight bag to retrieve it. Both her and Charlotte were going to spend the night at the boy’s room because they were probably going to be way too drunk to get to two different rooms tonight. So, the girls packed some clothes and necessities for tomorrow while the four suffer through hangovers.

Jasmine handed him the dog shaped bag and he slung it over his shoulders.

“Are we ready to go?” Charlotte asked, adjusted the green scarf around her neck.

Josh gave two thumbs up while Jasmine nodded as she put away her overnight bag.

Andrew cleared his throat, “But first, the pre-party shot” he brandished a bottle of tequila that was previously in his nightstand and four shot glasses. 

“Don’t mind if I do” Jasmine smiled and grabbed herself a shot glass and passed one to Josh.

Once the glasses were generously, or more accurately, unhealthily full; the four raised their glasses into the air.

“To winning the contest!” Andrew shouted.

“To Reese’s peanut butter cups. Those are the shit” Jasmine’s mouth practically watered.

“To a fun and hopefully successful night!” Charlotte smiled.

“To the greasy comfort food we’ll be having tomorrow morning to try and cure our hangovers!” Josh cheered as they all clinked their drinks together, spilling quite a bit of it. He felt the hot burning alcohol travel down his throat before throwing the glass back down on the table.  

The four filed out of the room, Andrew locking it after everyone else got out. Before they could even walk, they were interrupted by the boy’s neighbor, Jake. Better known as ‘Shnoopaloop’ around campus for his annoying catchphrase.

It was kind of like the part of the movie where you were introduced to the protagonists’ worst enemy. Not that he and Shnoopaloop had any long standing hatred, or that he bullied Josh or killed his family or anything. He was just so  _ profoundly annoying _ that Josh couldn’t help but get pissed off every time they were near each other. Jake was the epitome of ‘frat guy’ except for the fact that he’d been turned down from  _ every  _ fraternity on the NYU campus. He was a party animal and kept Andrew and Josh awake constantly with his horrible music. Additionally, he was extremely sexist and hit on every girl he saw. It wouldn’t surprise Josh if the guy had some confederate flag in his room either, since he implied that he didn’t trust Andrew for ‘reasons undisclosed dude’. Josh supposed that his catchphrase was meant to be branding or something that would get him remembered. However, like Josh, most of the college students didn’t think it was a good thing. 

“Wassup fellow homeslices! You girls look  _ ravishing _ ” Shnoopaloop winked as he looked Jasmine and Charlotte up and down. Josh began to silently pray that someone would kill him so he could escape the conversation.

Charlotte sighed in annoyance, “Thanks, we’ve gotta get going though” she plastered on a fake smile.

“Hey, hey, don’t leave Shnoopaloop hanging! What do you think?” He spun around in a circle to show off his revealing toga costume. He flexed his non-existent muscles and raised his brows suggestively, "Shnoopaloop!”

“It’s great!” Jasmine lied, “Really… Reflects who you are” she finished lamely.

“Thanks. I do like to think I’m a Greek God” he said confidently. 

“Oh. I was thinking something more along the lines of ‘desperate Greek Life reject’” Josh quipped.

“Halloween is for dressing up as something you  _ aren’t _  Josh!” Andrew smirked. Charlotte furrowed her brows and punched his arm.

Jake scowled, “Whatever, I know that I’m the superior human here.”

“Excuse me?” Charlotte’s eyebrows shot up and she crossed her arms.

“You better take back that racist shit!” Andrew shouted, veins popping out of his neck.

“I was just trying to-”

“No. How about you be the silenced one for a second. Take that time to take in what a racist and sexist douche you are. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we have to get going” Andrew shut Jake up and glared at him. He placed his hand on the small of Charlotte’s back and nudged her forward and through the crowded halls.

“Thanks” Charlotte smiled.

“No problem, he deserves it… But now I’m gonna have to drink a lot more to forget that dumbass conversation” Andrew sighed.

The four laughed as they headed out the dorms and into the madness that was NYU on Halloween night.

\--------

Thankfully, for Andrew’s sake, they arrived fashionably late and on time to enter the contest. The winners were announced at 11:00 so the four had time to chill and get drunk while they waited. Like the rest of the partiers, Josh was already drunk, although he might argue that he’s only buzzed. Loud music played throughout the house, which was decorated with simple Halloween decorations and abandoned red solo cups on the ground. The party was exciting enough to be special, but not super crazy like the frat and sorority parties happening a block away. Currently, they all sat in one the couch of the lounge areas half-watching Hocus-Pocus and half-talking. 

“All I’m saying is that ‘Whatever Happened’ is one of the most underrated piece of musical genius to exist” Josh declared, taking a swig of his second beer.

“And all  _ I’m _ saying is that I don’t give a shit about your hipster music drunk rants” Andrew sighed beside him on the crowded couch. 

“Hey, I know the song that’s playing right now!” he defended himself, referring to the rap song that was more bass than anything else because of the expensive speakers it was playing out of.

Jasmine smirked from her perch on the couch leg, “Prove it” 

A regular, sober Josh would probably decline the challenge, especially because it was so stupid and trivial. However,  _ drunk _ Josh was a little competitive and not as good at saying ‘no’.  He nodded and downed the rest of his beer. Josh peered down the bottom of the bottle to make sure it was empty, and examined the design engraved in the glass. 

“Alright, check this out” Josh began to whistle the song into the bottle, amplifying the sound.

“Really? I’m supposed to be impressed?” Andrew laughed.

“Fuck off” Josh rolled his eyes.

“You know what’s  _ really _ impressive? His dance moves” Charlotte smiled mischievously.

Andrew put his head in his hands, “Please stop encouraging him.”

“Too late man. I dedicate this song to you” He set down his beer bottle and stood up, facing them.

He began to dance, which wasn’t horrible, but he kept stumbling and moving his arms a little too much.

“I’m going to have to wash my eyes out with bleach now, thanks” Andrew shook his head and downed his own beer.

“It’s not  _ that _ bad” Charlotte offered, more out of pity than anything.

“Yeah, it’s kinda making me want to dance” Jasmine stood up and joined him. The two kept colliding and stumbling into each other. Josh and Jasmine couldn’t help but laugh.

“You guys are a mess. I’ll save you before you embarrass yourself even more… If that’s possible” Andrew grabbed Josh and led him towards the drinks table. Bowls of candy surrounded, beer, tequila, jello shots, and other fruity, sweet drinks. 

Josh looked at him dubiously, “Your solution is to get me drunkerer?” 

“Yeah, you’re the smart one here” Andrew rolled his eyes and handed him a jello shot before picking up some alcoholic root beer for himself, “Let’s go play some beer pong.”

Josh smiled, the pair of them were pretty much undefeated champions, no matter  _ how _ intoxicated they were. At first most people thought they were cocky, especially with all of the trick shots, but they eventually figured out they were pretty good. Maybe it wasn’t the best the be good at, and definitely not something to put on his resume; but it was definitely fun and surprisingly helped them sober up a bit.  

The pair weren’t counting on other good players, so they got a little more drunk than usual. Jasmine and Charlotte eventually joined, mostly to just laugh at how bad the other people were and cheer the boys on. Andrew was trying to impress Charlotte throughout the games, Josh figured the beer brought out his dick measuring contest side. Their opponents kept hitting on Jasmine, although she was a lot more interested in the girl dressed as Lara Croft than the lowlife guys.

The current game ended shortly as the music stopped and the hosts told the party that the winners would be announced. They stumbled through the crowd to watch and wait for the group costume category. 

“Look! Sabrina brought a real life black cat to be her Salem, we are totally going to lose!” Andrew sighed, referring to the girl who very cleverly used her name to her advantage and won the best throwback costume.

“Calm down, it’s going to be okay” Charlotte patted his back. Josh however, was starting to worry, not about winning but what to do with Andrew if they  _ did _ lose. 

“And now, the group costumes!” A girl dressed as a ladybug yelled excitedly, “In second place are The Avengers!” she began to list the names. 

The costumes were very nice, which Andrew picked up on, “Oh god, they look great. We’re doomed!” Andrew put his head in his hands.

“Can you stop being so whiny and negative? I’m pretty sure Charlotte doesn’t like that” Jasmine spoke into her cup.

Charlotte was too drunk to understand but Andrew gave Jasmine a sharp glare before returning to his defeated state. 

“In first place is… Those meddling kids at Mystery Inc.! Josh, Andrew, Charlotte, and Jasmine as the gang from Scooby Doo!” she cheered.

“Thank god” Josh let out a breath of relief. 

Andrew’s head shot up and he put his fist up in the air before happily leaping up to get their prizes. 

Charlotte smiled and pulled Josh and Jasmine in for a hug, “What was that for?” the latter asked.

“We won’t have to listen to him complaining anymore” she smiled, and the three of them burst out laughing.

Andrew returned to them, and put the cards holding the discounts in the scooby bag on Josh’s back, “What’s so funny?”

Josh attempted to hide his snickering, “Nothing, let’s go have a round of victory shots!”

\--------

Josh woke as he felt someone shift beside him, cuddling closer to his body. He began to have a mini heart attack. Did he sleep with someone?! Was he sober enough to be safe? Is his brother some sort of psychic? He turned around to see Jasmine pouting, fully clothed. Oh thank god. 

“Shhh you’re yelling” Jasmine groaned.

Josh raised a brow at her as he propped himself up on his elbow, “I didn’t even talk yet”

“Yeah, but I can hear you thinking” she threw her hand on his face in an attempt to shut him up, but it really just ended up hurting him.

“Thanks” he deadpanned and noticed Charlotte and Andrew cuddling on the other bed, sound asleep, “Aw” he cooed.

Jasmine whipped around and gasped, reaching for her phone and taking pictures.

“You’ve been up for a minute and you’re  _ already _ being nosy?” he shook his head in disapproval.

“Shut up, I’m being supportive!” she snapped some more pictures.

Josh rolled his eyes, “C’mon, we have to go get breakfast” he poked gently at her sides to get her to move.

“My head feels like it’s been hit repeatedly with a hammer and it’s about to explode into a million tiny pieces, how can you want to get up?” Jasmine complained.

“Believe me, I can feel my head pounding. But, that is why we’re going to have Andrew and I’s hangover cocktail’” He announced, crawling out of bed. 

“Please, no more alcohol…” she said weakly.

“No, this a mixture of painkillers, water, and eventually coffee with comfort breakfast food” Josh informed, grabbing some different pills from the medicine cabinet.

Jasmine took the pills and water gratefully as he downed his own. Josh set some pills and water on Andrew’s nightstand for the two in case they woke up before Jasmine and he got back from the breakfast run. The nosy girl got dressed in the bathroom while Josh tugged on some jeans, a thick grey cable knit sweater and his black jacket. He pulled on some boots and grabbed his wallet and keys, which now had the card for half priced coffee that they won last night.

She emerged from the bathroom swallowed in a mustard yellow sweater and black jeans with an annoyed expression plastered on her face, “Just get me my coffee.”

\--------

The two stood in the long line at their favorite cafe close to campus. Apparently a lot of other people had the idea to visit the very same place to try to quell their hangover. Jasmine hummed along to the indie song playing over the coffeehouse speakers while Josh scrolled through instagram to see how everyone else’s night went, before posting his own picture of the group in their costumes. A banner popped up on the top of his phone to notify that a certain blonde spitfire had texted him. 

**maya hart:** _ ur alive!  _

**josh matthews:** _ just barely _

**maya hart:** _ u look like u had a lot of fun last nite. i had 2 listen 2 riles and huckleberry flirting all nite. btw can u bring me free coffee now?  _

**josh matthews:** _is this the only reason why we’re friends?_ _oh, how you hurt me!_

**maya hart:** _ pls, u kno that we r friends bc u get me free music, not coffee ;) _

Josh chuckled at her ridiculousness as they moved forward in the line.

“Who are you texting?” Jasmine attempted to peer over his shoulder.

He sent her a glare as he locked his phone, “Nobody, I just saw something funny.”

“Bullshit. You’re texting Maya and you don’t want me to know” she said smugly.

“I am not!” he said a little too defensively. 

His phone lit up, displaying another text from the girl in question. 

Jasmine smirked, “What were you saying?”

“It’s nothing. Maya and I, we are nothing. Just buds. Emotions? Romance? Not a thing that exists. That died when Fabrizio Moretti and Binki Shapiro broke up. I’m not even sure that  _ I _ exist. And if I don’t exist, then  _ we  _ don’t exist. Understand?” Josh rambled nervously.

Jasmine looked him up and down, “God you’re a mess. Why don’t you like talking about about her with me? Repression is never a good look Matthews.”

“Because you are the most nosy person on planet Earth” he crossed his arms.

“Not true!” she argued.

“You blackmailed me in the first time we met because you forced her to tell you about us” Josh deadpanned.

Jasmine opened her mouth to argue, but they were interrupted by the grumpy cashier asking for their order. After buying the food and getting the coffee, Josh and Jasmine grabbed a table to sit at while they waited for the food to be done.

“Anyways, I’m not  _ that _ nosy. Maya has come and talked to me before” she said proudly.

“Oh really?” He raised a suspicious brow before taking a deep sip of his coffee.

“Well, she was texting Charlotte and I kinda forced her to give me Maya’s number,  _ but _ after a few times of me contacting her first she texted me” Jasmine admitted.

“And I’m the mess” Josh shook his head.

Jasmine scoffed, “Yeah you are! I mean you have this amazing girl and you are either hiding your feelings or are too dumb to realize them!”

“Thanks for being amazingly supportive” he rolled his eyes, “And I don’t know if you noticed, but I’m too old for her.”

She ignored him and continued, “You’re always so happy when you hang out with her. And she gets even the weirdest parts of your humor. C’mon, you can’t deny that your eyes light up when-”

“I’m not having this conversation with you” Josh glared over his cup.

“Well I’m tired of always talking about Andrew and Charlotte, what else am I supposed to focus on?” Jasmine whined.

Josh furrowed his brows, “Nothing? School? Crushing the patriarchy? There are more important things than us.”

“You’re no fun… Wait, did you just say ‘us’?” she smirked mischievously.

“Sorry, am I supposed to say the two separate homosapiens who communicate for someone who is  _ just a friend _ ?” he rolled his eyes.

“You, Josh Matthews, are a confusing pain in the ass homosapien that I have no idea what to do with.”

 

\--------

It was the next Saturday evening and instead of partying like a normal college student, Josh was studying like a madman. Although that was true of more students as finals became closer and closer. There was one more week till Thanksgiving break and pretty soon after that important tests and big essays were going to start up. He was currently listening to The Neighbourhood and studying Medieval Architecture.

“Alright, I’m going to go study Chem with Charlotte. Wish me luck” Andrew said excitedly as he grabbed his bag and opened the dorm door.

“Good luck with not actually doing anything to further your relationship despite the thousands of opportunities you get in one evening” Josh waved, keeping his eyes on his textbook.

Andrew flipped him off without looking behind his shoulder as he closed the door.

Josh studied for twenty more minutes before his phone chimed, reminding him to have his weekly call with his parents. He scrolled through his contact list before selecting theirs and pressing call.

“Hello?” Alan’s voice came out through the speakers.

“Dad! What’s up?” Josh leaned back in his bed and got comfortable.

“Well, your mother’s feeling... sick” he hesitated, “And I’m just watching the Philly game.”

“Is she okay? Tell her I hope she feels better… Actually, can I talk to her?” Josh asked, concerned about her wellbeing. 

Alan yawned before replying, “She’s not really up to talking with you tonight.”

“Wow, that bad? Am I still coming over a few days before Thanksgiving?” he questioned, referring to the plans they made at the beginning of October. He was going to spend a couple days there before the his brother’s family, Maya and her mom, and Shawn came over to Philly for Thanksgiving.

“I’m not sure it’ll work out. She’s pretty tired” Alan informed.

“Is Thanksgiving going to be cancelled? I don’t want to force her to cook if she feels so terrible” Josh questioned.

“I think it’ll be fine-”

“Sweetheart, do you want to go out to dinner tonight?” Amy interrupted. 

“Oh hi honey, I’m on the phone with Josh” he said nervously his wife. The two began to whisper to each other.

Why would they be going out if she felt sick? And why did his dad sound so anxious? What was with them being secretive?

“Mom sounds fine… Do you guys not want me to come over?” Josh asked, voice laced with hurt.

“About that…”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> go grab some tissues, you’re probably going to need them

Maya had never been a fan of Thanksgiving. It was a holiday about bringing family together, which was something she didn’t really have. The commercials, pictures, kids at school recounting the break; they all reminded her that her father wasn’t around. That her little family was broken and that she wasn’t normal. She had Riley, but Maya had only gone to Philly with her a couple of times for the holiday; so the majority of her Thanksgivings were spent with her mom. That is, when her mom wasn’t working her ass off the whole day at the Nighthawk diner when she used to work there, trying to make ends meet. When they  _ did _ celebrate together, they never had the quintessential turkey roast dinner, but rather some takeout chinese from their favorite spot. 

But this year was going to be different. Maya, Katy, and Shawn were tagging along with the New York Matthews’ to Philly this year. Alan and Amy wanted to meet Shawn’s girlfriend, as they thought of him as their own son. After all, they were one of the few people along with Feeny and Mr. Turner that took care of him. She was going to be with some of her favorite people in the world, and being with Shawn and Riley showed her that she  _ wasn’t _ broken, at least not to the point where she can’t be repaired.

And besides, she was excited to spend a couple of days with Josh, who had disappeared for the past week, probably because of school work. She was a little worried about him, especially because the few times he actually responded to her texts, his answers were short and vague.

A loud knock at her bedroom door startled Maya back into reality and she turned away from her perch at the window.

“Come in!”

Katy’s head appeared as the door opened, “Sweetie, pack your bags quick!”

“Mom, did you forget we don’t leave until tomorrow morning?” she reminded her that they were going to drive to Philadelphia on Thanksgiving day. Although, someone like Riley had probably already packed a week before.

“Yeah, but I thought it would be nice to surprise Shawn and visit him a day before. I need to prepare for Amy, and besides, a little spontaneity is good in a relationship” Katy explained as she leaned on the doorway. 

“Have you checked to make sure he’s actually home?” Maya raised a questioning brow.

Katy thought for a moment, “Huh. No, I should do that” she said as she pulled out out her phone. Maya shook her head before standing up and grabbing her duffel bag from her closet to start packing. 

Katy put the speaker on and roamed around the tiny apartment, packing a few last minute items in her bag.

“Hi, beautiful” Shawn greeted dreamily on the phone.

Katy blushed, “Hello, handsome.”

“You can’t even see each other” Maya grumbled as she threw some warm clothes in her bag.

Katy shushed her, trying to hear Shawn talk, “So what’s up? Calling because you're nervous about tomorrow?”

“Yeah, from what I’ve heard, Amy can be rude to Topanga, and she’s known the girl her whole life!” her mom admitted, “And I was wondering if you were at home…” she added awkwardly. Maya rolled her eyes, she was almost as bad at Riley when it came to relationships.

“What? Why?” he asked, obviously confused.

Katy panicked, trying to think of a reason that wouldn’t ruin the surprise, “Just wanna… make sure that you’re around to be there tomorrow.”

“Katy, I’m not Kermit okay? I love you, and I’ll be there” Shawn proclaimed. Maya couldn’t help but smile as she watched her mother’s eyes glisten.

“I love you too. But, you are home right?” Katy asked again.

Shawn sighed, “Yes, Katy, why do you keep asking?”

Another voice spoke from Shawn’s end, “Hey, where do you keep the towels?”

Maya watched as Katy’s face turned into a scowl. The voice was pretty far away, so it was hard to make out. But she was pretty sure both of their pessimistic switches were turned on by the simple question.

“Love me?! Bullshit, who is that girl in the background?!” Katy yelled and Maya began to feel her hope slowly drain out of her. Was Shawn really just like every other man in her life?

“Katy, it’s not what you think” he pleaded.

The other voice chimed in again, “Is something wrong?”

“Shut up!” Shawn hushed the other person urgently.

Katy scoffed, “Oh, I think I know. You’re cheating on me. And I’m driving over to give you a piece of my mind!”

“I’m not cheating on you! You just… y-you can’t come over okay?” Shawn requested, dubious that she would comply.

“Like  _ hell  _ I’m not! You better prepare for me, buddy!” Katy shouted and hung up.

The room grew silent, but Maya’s head was screaming. She was finally feeling like she had a real family, that her life was more calm; but with one phone call her life could be shattering again. She should have expected it. Why did she get her hopes up? Maya had spent at least ten years of her life repeating the mantra ‘hope is for suckers’. She was weak for letting herself believe otherwise. Although considering recent events, Maya had a tendency to shoot herself in the foot with emotions.

“Sorry you had to hear that baby girl” Katy finally spoke, “You don’t have to come upstate with me anymore” she pulled her in for a hug.

Maya held back her tears, “No. I’m going. You need support” she shook her head.

“Thanks. Pack the rest of your bags, because you’re still getting your Thanksgiving this year if I have any say” Katy wiped off the tears on her face and sharply turned out of her room to pack her own bags.

\--------

It was not a good sign that Katy was singing angrily along to Criminal by Fiona Apple at the top of her lungs while going 80 on the rainy highway. Or the fact that she was creating swear words that Maya didn’t even know could exist. 

“Damn, I think I left my baseball bat at home” she snapped her fingers, “I knew I forgot something!”

“Mom!” Maya’s eyes widened.

“Relax, I’m kidding... Mostly” Katy added and drummed her fingers nervously on the steering wheel.

Maya sighed, “Maybe he’s not cheating on you, maybe this is just one big misunderstanding” she attempted to reassure her mom, although she was scared herself.

“I hope so sweetie” Katy smiled sadly before returning her focus to the road. 

Maya had been keeping herself busy by watching the trees whip past and texting Riley, although she didn’t let her best friend know what was going on. If she did that, Riley would’ve brought an army to Shawn’s front door. She tried to text Josh earlier, but he hadn’t responded.

**riles:** _ my mom is freaking out rn bc of all the food she has to cook and i’m the only one willing to help _

**maya hart:** _ oh honey, u cant cook _

**riles:** _ at least i cook better than you ;P… but i’ll leave the cooking to lucas when we live together hehe _

**maya hart:** _ gross. hows texas treating him? _

**riles:** _ his parents are fighting :(( at least zay is there with him. I wish they could be going to Philly w/ us and not around all the yelling _

“I just can’t believe he had the nerve to cheat on me and then just- tell me he loves me?! Men are pigs!” Katy huffed.

Maya sighed before texting Riley again.

**maya hart:** _ yeah, good thing. speaking of family, have u talked to uncle boing recently?  _

**riles:** _ no, gma might b making him do chores around the house _

She looked up to see that they were pulling into the cabin driveway and felt the knot in her stomach become tighter. 

**maya hart:** _ i gtg do some chores rn too, ttyl _

Katy took a few deep breaths and nodded at Maya to tell her she was ready. The two short blondes exited the car and marched towards the wooden door. From afar, they looked a little ridiculous, but up close they were fiery girls who could, and just might, punch someone in the face. Katy didn’t knock, just threw the door open to find a very anxious Shawn on the couch.

“You bastard!” she yelled and Maya already felt like she was going to throw up.

“Sweetheart, I can explain-” Shawn shot up and faced her.

“You don’t get to call me that and you do  _ not _ get to talk right now!” Katy crossed her arms.

“I’m not chea-”

“Do all men just think it’s okay to just stomp over my heart? Do I have an invisible sign that says ‘emotionally traumatize me please’?!” she shouted, veins starting to pop out of her neck. 

“Maya, can you please ask your mom to let me explain” Shawn looked over his girlfriend’s shoulder to address her. 

“I dunno if you deserve to talk right now” she said bravely, although she was pretty sure her bottom lip was quivering a bit.

“Maya…” Shawn whispered, wounded.

Katy stepped closer to him, “I said no talking! I shouldn’t even be letting you see me right now! You’re obviously too caught up with some ugly mountain girl!”

Maya began to automatically tune out the fighting, an instinct still left over from when Kermit and her mom would scream at each other. She tried to focus on anything that wasn’t the argument, only registering body movements and moving on to gaze at something else. It was selfish, but she wished someone else was there. She wished that Riley was there, a comforting hand on her shoulder. At the same time, she would never want to subject the human version of sunshine to seeing them fall apart. Maya looked at the knick knacks and pictures on the wall. There were a couple of him and her mom that caught her eyes, and made her feel even worse. The two were a mess, but they cared about each other. When they were together, the shitty pasts and self-doubt were forgotten. They were happy. And that happiness, Shawn’s happiness, her mom’s happiness,and even  _ her  _ happiness; might be gone in a matter of seconds. In her attempt to tune out the yelling, she heard the shower running in the bathroom next to the kitchen.

“Is she still here?” Maya barely managed to ask, interrupting the fight.

Shawn turned to her, “What?”

“The shower” Maya began to explain, “It’s on.”

Katy’s face somehow became even more enraged, “You didn’t even have the decency to kick her out?!”

“Can you  _ please _ just listen!-”

“I can’t believe you! Letting this… this  _ tramp _ shower in your home!-”

“Hey Shawn, what’s with all the yelling?” The bathroom door opened, revealing the culprit. 

The figure in front of them was not an ugly mountain girl tramp, but instead, the one and only Josh Matthews. Correction, a Josh Matthews with just a towel wrapped around his waist. A wet, half-naked Josh. Maya was about to combust, and had to lean on the couch in order to keep from falling over. His hair was messy, and his bright blue eyes seemed to shine; contrasting his dark hair. She had never expected him to be as muscular as Lucas, but he definitely looked like he went to the gym.  He had toned arms, slightly defined abs, and honest to god v-lines. How the guy who spent all his time studying and consuming coffee looked so good baffled her.

“Boing!” Maya pointed excitedly, not able to contain her attraction.

Josh realized that he was barely clothed in front of one of his bosses’ and her daughter and froze in place before finally speaking, “Oh, I’m just gonna-yeah” he spun around, grabbing the towel and retreated back into the bathroom. 

“It was Josh. The ‘slut’ was Josh” Katy shook her head in disbelief. 

“I don’t really appreciate that label, I prefer escort, or maybe body confident” Josh quipped from the other side of the door.

Shawn rolled his eyes, “Shut up!” he focused on her mom, “That’s what I was trying to tell you. I love you Katy. I would  _ never _ do that to you” he took her hands.

“God, I’m such an idiot! I’m such a crappy girlfriend for even thinking you were cheating on me” Katy flopped onto the couch. 

“Don’t say that, I understand. With all the stuff you’ve been through you feel like you have to protect yourself. But I just want you to trust me okay?” Shawn sat beside her.

Katy smiled, “Yeah, I trust you. Next time I’ll let you talk” she reached forward and kissed him, something that was simultaneously both sweet and disgusting for Maya to witness. 

“Alright, now that our lives aren’t speeding down railroad tracks into a cliff full of grenades, let’s address the elephant in the room” Maya stated after letting them have a moment. She was happy everything was okay, but she needed answers.

“You know, you have a very vivid imagination” Shawn commented.

Maya rolled her eyes, “Why is Josh here? He’s supposed to be in Philadelphia already. Riles hasn’t heard from him, and neither have I.”

Shawn hesitated, “All I know is that he asked me if he could stay the night for a bit and not tell anyone he was here. I said yes” he shrugged.

“Just like that?” Katy asked.

“Yeah, he’s family” he said matter-of-factly. 

Maya sensed that he wasn’t telling them everything, “How long is ‘for a bit’?”

His eyes widened in panic “A couple of nights… through Thanksgiving break, whatever” he tried to play off the information he just gave.

“Josh isn’t coming to Philly?!” Maya yelled, brows furrowed.

“Really Shawn. I’m gone two seconds” Josh shook his head as he exited the bathroom, now dressed in a black henley and jeans. Not quite as amazing as him only being clad in a towel, but still pretty nice. 

Maya marched up to him, “Why aren’t you going to Thanksgiving dinner?” she glowered, though it was somewhat ineffective since he had a good six inches on her. 

“Interesting question. What  _ is _ Thanksgiving really? Society may fool you into believing it was the friendship between Native Americans and Pilgrims. But, did you know that while Native Americans were often hospitable, white newcomers often exploited this and enslaved, raped and murdered the  _ real _ Americans?” Josh attempted to sidetrack her.

She sighed and turned to Shawn, “Why isn’t he going to celebrate with us?” 

Shawn shrugged, “I don’t know, he didn’t tell me and I didn’t ask. I dunno why you’re getting so upset.”

“Thank you Shawn. You are now redeemed” Josh walked over and fist bumped his brother’s best friend. 

“I’m upset because this Thanksgiving is supposed to be nice! I know that you have a perfect family Josh, but some of us don’t. I just want to experience that, okay?” she snapped. 

Josh stayed silent for a minute. Maybe because of what she said, or that he felt guilty. But it felt like there was more than that. 

“I want you to experience that. But you don’t need me to be there. Trust me, I wouldn’t belong” he mumbled the last part, although she could tell by the tone of his voice that it was much more than an offhand comment. 

She had to figure out what was happening, and no one else seemed to care that much. But Maya knew one person who couldn’t help but try to fix everyone’s lives, especially those who she cares about. She scrolled through her phone to find her call history and tapped the last person she talked to.

Maya waited as the phone rang, which it only did a couple of times, “Hey Riles!” she smirked at Josh, whose face turned into one of sheer panic. 

“Peaches! What’s up? Why does your location say you’re upstate?” Riley questioned. Damn, she always forgot to turn that thing off.

“I’m visiting Shawn with my mom” she explained, “And guess who else is here? You’re Uncle Boing” Maya moved away from Josh,who was attempting to grab her phone.

“Maya” Josh warned, glaring at her.

“What? He’s supposed to be at grandma and grandpa’s” Riley responded, confused.

“That’s what I thought. But it looks like he skipping out on the festivities this year” she informed. 

“He’s not celebrating with us?!” Riley yelled, scandalized. 

She shook her head even though Riley couldn’t see her, “Nope. And he won’t tell us why.”

Josh reached around her to grab the phone again, and this time he was successful. Maya almost snatched it right back so he held it high above his head.

“Really?” she glowered at him. He smirked in response, Riley’s voice yelling through the phone’s speakers in his hands. 

He thought he had defeated her, but Maya had the ability to create plans at the drop of a hat. She knew how to take things  from Josh, specifically from past experience. Standing on the Shawn’s coffee table, which almost gave the man a heart attack, she climbed onto Josh’s back and grabbed her phone back.

“What the hell?!” he yelled, but grabbed her legs all the same, like he did every single time. 

“MAYA ARE YOU THERE?!” Riley’s voice screamed as she put her phone back to her ear.

She winced before replying, “Yeah Riles, I’m here” she held tightly onto Josh’s back as he attempted to shake her off. 

“Get off me you little ferret!” Josh yelled, but she ignored him.

“Okay, tell Shawn we’re coming over” Riley informed.

“I didn’t even ask you to come yet” Maya replied, slightly confused, although she shouldn’t really question Riley’s dedication.

Josh sighed giving up on trying to get Maya off of him, “Great, she’s gonna bring in the cavalry.”

Riley started to say goodbye before remembering to tell her something, “Oh! Tell Shawn to buy some air mattresses and food because we’re all staying over!”

“Alright, see you soon honey” She hung up, hopeful that the Matthews could fix this mess.

Josh adjusted Maya on his back, “Do you think you could get off now?”

“Hm… I’d rather not” she pretended to look pensive, although he couldn’t actually see her.

“Maya, let the boy free” Shawn shook his head, trying to hold back his laughter at the sight.

She reluctantly hopped off, and fixed her hair and blue sweater, “Oh, by the way, the Matthews’ are going to stay the night” she mentioned.

“Thanks for checking with me first” Shawn said sarcastically, crossing his arms.

Katy held his arm with hers, resting her head on his bicep, “C’mon, we better get stuff for them.”

“This is supposed to be my bachelor pad, we already got two kids in here!” Shawn complained.

She arched a brow, “First of all, you have a girlfriend. And this give us some alone time” she winked, and Shawn registered her comment before winking back.

“Disgusting” Maya pretended to gag.

Josh shook his head, “I think it would be better to be blunt.”

“If you’re done judging me, we’re going now” Shawn led Katy out the door.

\--------

Maya watched Josh angrily sip his cocoa and read his book while she sat across the chess table, attempting to play. Which was really more her playing with the figures and making them fight, but in her defense she never learned how to play. He was trying to ignore her, angry that she made all of this a big deal.

“C’mon when are you going to talk Boing?” she pouted.

Josh looked over his book, “I don’t really feel like talking to you at the moment.”

“Well maybe this wouldn’t have happened if you would just  _ tell _ me why you don’t want to come to Philly” she said, exasperated.

“Be quiet or I’m taking away your hot chocolate” he dismissed her.

Maya smirked, “The hot chocolate that you made for me without me asking you to?”

“Shut up” he turned the page, “Play some chess and leave me alone.”

“Funny, you think I know how to play” she joked, but he didn’t take the bait. She sighed, “Josh you’re overreacting.”

Josh’s eyebrows quirked up and he set down his book, “Care to tell me why? You don’t even know why I’m mad.”

“Whatever you and your family are fighting about, you can talk to them. And you guys all love and care about each other, it can’t be  _ that _ bad” Maya surmised. 

“People who love each other hurt each other. Just because they have ‘Matthews’ tacked onto the end of their name doesn’t mean they’re angels” he countered, “Besides, I can’t really talk to my parents right now.”

Maya sat up, “You were the one who told me to talk to others and face what’s wrong. Don’t be a hypocrite.”

Josh scoffed, “Wow. Here’s the thing: Cory, Eric, and Morgan are allowed to get angry and make mistakes and everything turns out fine. I do one stupid thing or maybe get annoyed and I’m ungrateful or irredeemable. I thought you would understand that I’m hurt and that that’s okay. You stand up for your friends no matter what Maya.”

“But you  _ can  _ fix it! My dad and I don’t even  _ have _ a relationship to fix or break. You have a good relationship with your family. I’ve always wanted to have a family like your’s, and you’re taking it for granted.” 

“Maybe I am being selfish. Maybe I’m blowing this out of proportion. But you can’t tell me not to bottle things up and then go and say the way I feel is invalid. Especially when you don’t even know what’s going on.”

Maya shook her head, “That’s not what I’m trying do”

“What are you trying to do?” he interjected, “You know, I’m sorry I’m not handling this perfectly like I’m somehow expected to-”

The front door swung open, “Hey kiddies, we’re back” Shawn greeted.

“I’m going for a drive” Josh declared, standing up and marching towards the door.

“No you’re not” Riley blocked his exit, arms crossed and a scowl on her face as close as a scowl that Riley Matthews could muster.

Josh sighed, “Riley, can I get past?”

“I did  _ not _ stop preparing Thanksgiving dinner and drive two hours just for you to leave mister!” Topanga roared.

He put his hands up in surrender, “Okay, I’m not going.” 

Auggie ran inside, his spiderman suitcase rolling behind him.  Shortly afterwards Cory entered the cabin, followed by none other than Eric Matthews.

Eric slung his arms over both of his siblings’ shoulders, “My brothas!”

“My brotha!” Josh smiled slightly, performing some sort of secret handshake with him.

“Eric, we aren’t supposed to talk to him unless we’re getting information on why he’s boycotting Thanksgiving!” Cory slapped him on the chest.

“Well, here I thought the family’s conspiracy to avoid me started earlier” Josh quipped.

“What do you mean?” Riley asked, sitting on the couch.

He shrugged, “Nothing. Neither of you have had said hello to your best friends yet” he referred to Riley and Cory, attempting to divert attention away from himself.

“Stop trying to avoid this” Maya called him out.

Shawn stood beside him, “Yeah, Josh, why don't you just tell us?”

“If I tell you guys I’m not sure what you’ll think of mom and dad” he admitted.

“What, that your dad was in a crappy rock band?” Shawn guessed.

“That you made mom  _ super _ fat when she was pregnant with you?” Cory contributed, and Josh rolled his eyes.

Eric laughed, “Or maybe it’s that they told us they were pregnant with you because Dad almost had sex with Topanga on prom night.”

“ERIC!” Cory and Topanga yelled at the same time.

Josh’s eyes widened, “What the hell?!”

Eric shrugged as his sat on the arm of the couch.

“Sounds like a wild dance” Maya chuckled.

“I did  _ not _ almost have… relations with my father-in-law,” Topanga glared, “Cory and I… We… They… It’s not what it sounds like!” she finished with frustration, not wanting to reveal anything remotely sexual to her children. 

Riley sat there confused for a moment before speaking, “Well, I don’t know what could be worse than that. What is it Josh?”

“Sorry, is no one else confused and concerned as hell about what Eric just said?” he looked around the room, bewildered. 

“Just tell us!” Cory yelled before jumping awkwardly on his younger brother’s back.

Josh sighed, “Get. Off.” he struggled to keep both of them from falling.

“When Maya does this it works!” Cory whined, gripping tighter.

“She’s a pretty, stubborn girl and you’re… well a middle aged white dad with a slightly receding hairline” he replied.

Cory gasped at the insult but jumped off because they were about fall over. Josh sighed a breath of relief before sitting down on the couch next to Riley.

“Fine. You know how I almost died when I was born?” Josh began.

Shawn crossed his arms, “Yeah, not something any of us really want to be reminded of.”

“And you know how because of that mom and dad coddled me and thought I was going to break at any moment?”

“Are you going to tell us your life story?” Cory complained. 

Josh sent him a sharp look before continuing, “And you know how mom and dad don’t totally love the fact that I’m majoring in architecture and urban design?”

“Just spit it out already!” Maya groaned.

“Mom and Dad sorta kinda told me that I was wasting my life getting my degree and not to come tomorrow” he said quickly, wincing after he said it. She watched everyone’s face fall as soon as he said it.

The room was silent for a couple minutes, tension filling the room.

Riley put her hand on his shoulder, “I’m so sorry Josh.”

“Maybe they weren’t trying to imply that you pretty much raised yourself from the dead for no reason?” Cory offered, but realized how lame the excuse was.

Josh shook his head, “No, they meant it. I’m wasting my second chance at life doing something I love.”

God, Maya felt so shitty after everything she said to him.

“Josh, as your Uncle and extraordinary fixerer,” Eric started, and Josh seemed unfazed at how completely wrong that sentence was, “I’m not sure I can fix this one.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Topanga cleared her throat, “I’m calling them right now.”

“No, you think I haven’t tried that? They don’t answer” he placed his elbows on his knees, resting his head in his hands. 

Cory shook his head, “I just… This seems so unlike them.”

“I think you should still come with us tomorrow” Topanga announced.

“Why? While I love them, Amy and Alan don’t seem to respect him, and he even tried reaching out after what they said. I don’t blame him for not wanting to go” Shawn defended Josh, “You can stay here.”

“Thanks Shawn.”

Riley stood up suddenly, “No, we came to fix this. I’m not letting this tear us apart okay?”

“Rile-”

“We’ll be there to support you. I don’t want to see you sad, and maybe this isn’t what you want to do, but it’ll be  _ something _ ” she cut his protesting off.

The nine sat there for a moment before disbanding, trying to distract themselves from the new information. Maya walked over to the sofa, standing in front of Josh.

“I’m sorry about what I said to you, if I knew-”

Josh’s head snapped up, “You shouldn’t have had to. ‘When being right is more important than being friends, then that's the end of being friends’ right?” he stood up and walked off, leaving Maya to think about how bad she just fucked up.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, i know i haven't updated in awhile. i've been super busy with personal stuff and school. also if you follow me on tumblr (matthewsjosh), you probably know someone plagiarized the last chapter; which turned me off from writing for a bit. anyways, i'm finally back with the next chapter. i know i said to get some tissues last time, but grab even more for this chapter. sorry in advance.

It was pretty safe to say that Josh’s life was officially a shit show. He was  _ this _ close to being disowned by his parents, and he still barely understood why. Not to mention that he was drowning in homework and his finals were just around the corner. And of course, the fact that just two months after their last argument, he and Maya were fighting again. Josh was baffled by how unsympathetic Maya had been, especially because she usually stood up for her friends no matter what. It wasn’t that he wanted her to forget about it  or not do anything, that would be hypocritical considering what he’s told her; but just to understand he needed time. Both times the two had fought this year were because one was going through a crisis and both of them didn’t know how to handle it. 

Josh may have been a little dramatic, but his life was going off the rails and he needed some stability, someone to talk to. Charlotte and Jasmine were across the country with their own families; and although Andrew was also in Philadelphia, he didn’t want to intrude on his time with his mom. That was one of the things that sucked the most about this whole situation. He cares so much about his family and friend, but right now it’s as if he’s a stranger to them. 

It didn’t seem to matter how Josh felt though, his family forced him in a car with Topanga, Auggie, and his brothers, heading to one of the last places he wanted to be right now. His music was on full blast and he passed the time by watching the rain trickle down the window and wallowing in his own self loathing. What a great, fun break.

Maya kept texting him randomly throughout the drive, as she was in the other car with Riley, Shawn and Katy. He supposed it was an olive branch of sorts, but Josh did not have time to try to fix that. All of his energy had to be focused on not blowing up the second he walked through the front door. 

Meanwhile, Cory and Topanga were belting out old 90’s songs while Eric was trying to keep their nephew busy and entertained.

“Then a great, big cloud came and rained turkeys, cranberry sauce, and mashed potatoes over the pilgrims and Native Americans. And that’s the story of Thanksgiving!” Eric finished his story.

Auggie giggled but seemed to believe it, either that or her was playing along, “So why don’t clouds of food rain on  _ us _ Uncle Eric?”

“That’s a good question” Eric looked off in the distance as if he was mulling over the answer, “It’s because they really,  _ really _ needed the food and performed a gratitude ritual; where they yelled ‘thank you’ at the top of their lungs for hours on end.”

“Eric, please stop telling my child lies” Topanga shot him a look.

Eric shook his head, “But I’m not!”

“Auggie, don’t listen to him” she warned.

Josh watched the two bicker and felt the need to stoke the mischievous fire Eric had started; despite being upset about his current situation.

“Yeah, Eric missed one big thing” he commented, smirk already growing on his face.

“Me?!” his brother gasped dramatically, making Auggie laugh, “Whatever could I, the expert of Thanksgivoween Eve have gotten wrong?”

Topanga rolled her eyes, “You two are destroying my child.”

Josh ignored her, “Well,  _ everyone _ knows that pumpkins were created from the magical bond of friendship the groups shared on Thanksgiving.” 

“Both of you are banned from talking for the rest of the drive!” Topanga scolded her brothers in law. 

“Aw Pangers, no need to be so cruel” Eric pouted.

Topanga whipped around, “Zip. It!” she yelled through gritted teeth.

The three boys began to laugh, and Eric glanced at him, smiling. Josh realized that Eric had started the whole ridiculous story for him too. He knew that Josh would take the bait, and wanted him to laugh, even if it was just for a second. They shared a look of understanding, an appreciative smile spreading across his face.  Even though he felt alone at the moment, he knew that there were some people on his side.

“Alright, we’re here!” Cory announced as they approached the pale blue two-story home. 

Instantly, Josh’s sudden feeling of happiness began to dissipate. He was finally understanding why some people dread the holidays. 

They waited for the others to pull in before Topanga told everyone what to do.

“What took you so long?” Topanga questioned as the four filed out of Shawn’s car.

Shawn rolled his eyes, “We arrived ten minutes after you did.”

“Yes, but 11:30 is usually a high point in Amy’s mood, meaning a greater chance of her and Josh making up. And I had to get all of you hooligans up at 7:00 to get there on time! C’mon, it’s part of the plan people!” she exploded. Josh shifted uncomfortably at the fact that there even had to be a plan.

Maya chugged some coffee before handing a cup to him, “Sorry, we needed necessary fuel to get through today.”

He nodded to her as a ‘thank you’, “So, what’s next on your agenda?” he raised an inquisitive brow towards Topanga before downing some of his own drink.

“We take in the food that I made through the kitchen so we can set it down quickly and say hello. I planned other things, but it really all depends on how Alan and Amy reacts. I have five plans depending on what transpires.”

Cory smirked, “I  _ love _ it when you overplan.”

She shot him a look, “Cor, your brother might be disowned by your parents. Sorry Josh” she looked at him apologetically.

“No worries,” Josh shook his head, “I was thinking the same thing.”

“Maybe grandma and grandpa will apologize as soon as we walk in the door and we’ll have a great day” Riley theorized optimistically. 

Josh smiled at her hope and positivity, though doubted it would come true. He finished his coffee, downing the liquid magic that would help him give a little strength. Reaching into Cory and Topanga’s trunk, he handed a small bowl to Auggie to carry before grabbing a dish to take inside himself. The rest of the family took that as a cue that Josh was ready to go inside, although he really wasn’t at all. He watched all of them to come in before he did, waiting until the last possible moment to face them. Maya looked back at him, examining his face before giving him a sad smile and entering. He wasn’t sure if it was because they were fighting or if she pitied him; and he also wasn’t sure if it made him feel comforted or upset. Josh took a deep breath and closed his eyes before walking in.

“Riley, Maya I’m so happy to see you!” Amy smiled as she hugged the two best friends. Auggie ran to her next after he and Josh set down their dishes.

Amy was patting his head as Topanga walked over, “Mom, how are you?”

“Oh, just cooking all day while your father falls asleep while watching the game…” She replied, “The usual.” Her gaze fell upon Josh, eyes widening. 

He ignored the sinking feeling in his stomach and approached her, arms outstretched for a hug, “Hey Mom, Happy Thanksgiving.”

Amy looked him up and down, “Yeah, hi” she turned to Topanga, “Anyways, I was thinking we could have dinner in a couple hours?”

Josh felt absolutely shattered. He let his hands fall awkwardly at his sides, before feeling too vulnerable and stuffing them into the pockets of his leather jacket. She couldn’t even bring it to herself to  _ hug _ him. He knew it was bad, but he was in disbelief over what just happened. It felt like there was a huge weight on top his chest, suffocating him. Josh swallowed back his tears, noticing that everyone else was in shock as well. 

He stared at his shoes before clearing his throat, “Come on Auggie, let’s go get the luggage” he ushered his nephew out the door. 

“Are you okay Joshie?” Auggie asked once they were outside, not sure what just happened but understanding that it wasn’t anything good.

Josh looked at him sadly, “Yeah, I’m fine kiddo.”

Topanga, Riley, and Maya rushed towards them.

“So what’s next on your plan?” Josh asked, needing at least  _ some  _ form of stability.

Topanga fiddled nervously with her ring, “See that’s the problem... I didn’t really plan for  _ that _ .”

“Great” Josh sighed, grabbing his luggage; Auggie, Riley, and Maya doing the same.

Instead of going through the backyard and the kitchen, they went through the front door in order to avoid the others. 

“Oh, Josh I wasn’t expecting you to be here today” Alan commented instead of ‘hello’ as he watched his youngest walk through the door. Warm welcome number two. Auggie dropped his bag and gave his grandpa a hug.

Josh sighed, “Yeah, I kind of gathered.” 

Especially because they told him not to come in the first place.

“C’mon Auggie, let’s go put our luggage upstairs” Maya said, probably noticing his discomfort. 

“Why?” Auggie asked, but still pulled away.

Riley smiled, “So we don’t have to drag them upstairs at bedtime. I promise we’ll spend a lot of time with everyone after we do this okay?”

“Oh Josh,” Alan stood up, “We didn’t make enough room for you since… Well we thought you weren’t coming.”

He was taken aback but quickly responded nevertheless, “Well, I can just sleep in my room right?”

“I think you’ll have to sleep on the couch tonight” Alan shook his head.

Josh felt like he was being punched in the stomach over and over again, and he had a feeling that wouldn’t stop anytime soon.

“Why don’t we go play some soccer after you put your stuff upstairs buddy?” He suggested to Auggie.

The small boy picked up his owl duffle bag, “You are  _ so _ needy. But, I do need to work on my skills for my lady so I’ll play with you.”

\--------

Auggie had fallen down five times with no obstacles in the past fifteen minutes while Josh played goalie. The seven year old really  _ did _ need to work on his skills. Although to be fair, he was a little rusty himself; after not really playing since he was a kid. Josh felt a little cowardly avoiding everyone by hanging out with Auggie, but he figured he deserved to a be a little selfish in light of recent events.

“Stop kicking the ball with your toes, you’ll hurt yourself and you’ll have less control over the ball” Josh advised, examining the dark, cloudy sky above them. 

“Well I can’t use my hands! You already yelled at me for that!” Auggie huffed.

Josh shook his head and laughed, “Use the side of your foot or the top of it.”

“I should’ve just stuck to baseball shouldn't I?” Auggie muttered to himself, before   angrily kicking the ball  towards the ‘goal’, only to have it go over the neighbor’s fence. 

He couldn’t help but chuckle at his nephew before reaching over the short fence to the grab the ball.

“I  _ thought _ I heard some tomfoolery out here” Feeny remarked as he walked out of his home and into the yard.

Josh smiled, “Happy Thanksgiving Mr. Feeny. Sorry about the ball, just trying to teach Auggie how to play.”

“Happy Thanksgiving to you too,” he returned a grin, “Although I will say that you don’t seem to be the best teacher.”

“Weren’t you a teacher grandpa?” Auggie asked.

Feeny sighed deeply, “I am  _ not _ your grandfather. But, yes I was a teacher. Anyways, how’s your day been? I was not expecting anyone to be playing outside.”

“Oh, we’re out here because grammy and grampa hate Josh!” Auggie informed simply.

Josh put his head in his hands, “Jesus Christ.”

“Is this true?” Feeny inquired.

“Well, hate  _ might _ be an exaggeration...” he replied, though technically not denying it.

Feeny sighed, “Why don’t you go spend time with your real grandparents while I talk to Josh?” he addressed Auggie.

Auggie looked at Josh, making sure it was okay to leave him alone. He nodded and patted the curly mess of hair atop the boy’s head. Auggie took the ball and ran inside, leaves crunching underneath his oxfords. Josh turned back to Feeny to see him sitting at his bench. He awkwardly stepped over the fence to join him.

“Last time I checked, you couldn’t get Amy and Alan to stop smothering you with love.”

Josh sighed, “I know. I don’t know what I did to make them be so cold towards me” he shrugged.

“How did they react when you walked in today?” Feeny asked, crossing one leg over the other.

Josh told him how both Amy and Alan ‘greeted’ him earlier in the day.

Feeny’s eyes widened, “Oh. Wow. Are sure you didn’t doing anything like… Pranking them every single day?”

“I did  _ not  _ prank you every single day!” Josh defended himself, “... Just other people.”

Feeny stifled a chuckle, “I filled in for that AP U.S. History class out of the good of my own heart, and another Matthews’ is what I got.”

“Aw, c’mon you loved me. I always aced your tests” he pointed out.

“Yes and that made me more upset. At least with Cory I could show him that his mischief was hurting his grades” Feeny explained, watching an orange leaf fall gracefully to the ground. 

Josh grinned, and the two sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes. Eventually the light-hearted mood disappeared, and he knew that Feeny was expecting an explanation about Alan and Amy.

Josh took a shaky breath, “I called them at the beginning of the month, I usually call them once a week. We got in a huge fight because they were lying to me to make sure I wouldn’t come today. My mom had been crying because she’s disappointed in me. They both are. She… she said ‘What’s the point of you bringing yourself back from the verge of death if you’re just going to waste your life?’. But y’know, yelling and not quite on the verge of tears from feeling utterly abandoned from her parents” he attempted to joke, but his voice cracked and his eyes were watering.

Feeny put a hand on his shoulder, “I’m sorry that’s this is happening. I would’ve never expected Alan and Amy to do this though.”

“Yeah, that’s what everyone is saying” Josh blinked back his tears.

“Now, because I know Topanga I’m sure she already has a plan,” Josh nodded in confirmation, “But I think I just might join tonight’s dinner. Sounds like a mystery of the human emotion.”

Josh raised a brow, “Ignoring how strange that sentence was, don’t you have a wife to spend today with?”

“No, Lila is with her… less than satisfactory family” Feeny explained, “She gave me a pass because they are  _ truly horrendous _ . So I’m also in it for a little free food I must admit.”

“Well, I don’t have a problem with having one more ally in the room. And I’m sure my parents will be okay with it. Maybe if you just replace me in the family tree” he remarked bitterly.

Feeny frowned, “I believe I deserve a free meal, considering I made sure their sons didn’t end up dead in a ditch.”

Josh chuckled, and stood up, “I’m pretty sure dinner is almost done.”

Feeny nodded and gingerly stood up from the bench. The two walked around the fence and through the gate; Josh making sure that the older man didn’t fall. He opened the glass door for him once they reached it.

Eric’s eyes lit up as soon as he entered, “Feeny? Fa-fa-fa-fa-feeny! Feenay!” he yelled, approaching him while making claw like motions with his hands.

“That’s quite enough Mr. Matthews” Feeny put a hand up, but still smiled. Eric enveloped him in a hug.

“What are ya doing here?” Cory grinned.

“I’m still not happy with you for digging up my yard,” Feeny furrowed his brows, “But I am here to join in the festivities.

Amy’s eyes widened noticing that he came in with Josh, “Oh, well we’ll have to go get another seat! Alan?” 

“I’ll go see if I can find one.”

\--------

As if Josh hadn’t been offended and belittled enough today, he was sat at the kids table with Riley, Maya, and Auggie. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to spend time with them, more that this showed the utter lack of respect his parents have for him; and the fact that they did not want him at the table with them.

“Well,  _ your parents _ must not think three years is a big difference” Maya joked off-handedly. 

Josh shot her a look and she put her hands up in surrender, “Just trying to make you look a little less murderous.”

He rolled his eyes and started to watch Riley pour another drink into her glass. She must’ve been making a cocktail of every beverage Amy put out. It wasn’t surprising considering she puts ketchup in her mac n’ cheese, but it still disgusted him nonetheless. 

Suddenly, a blue plastic cup was thrust into his face, “Here ya go” Shawn spoke.

“Seriously? I’m not even old enough to drink out of a glass?” Josh raised a brow.

“Just drink it” Shawn ordered while rolling his eyes.

Josh cautiously took the cup out of his hands and took a gulp of the liquid. He felt the familiar taste of beer on his tongue, and instantly smiled.

“You’re my savior” he thanked Shawn, giving him a fist bump.

Shawn shrugged, “I just figured coffee wasn’t quite enough considering how today has been going so far.” Josh smiled at him before he strolled back to the main table next to Cory.

The exchange piqued both Riley and Maya’s interest, “Ooh, can I have some for my drink?” Riley asked with excitement.

“No,” Josh shook his head, “I don’t think you’d like it.”

“Well maybe  _ I _ would like it” Maya smirked mischievously, obviously sensing he was drinking something alcoholic. 

“You are ridiculous” he sighed, taking another swig before digging into his food.

Riley shoved a spoonful of mashed potatoes in her mouth, “Maybe if I bring up Lucas then they’ll forget about all this fighting.”

Unlike Riley, Josh finished chewing his food before replying, “No, I think that would make it worse. Besides, you don’t have to sacrifice yourself for me.”

“I know, I just feel bad since I was the one who forced you here and… Well it’s not going so good” she frowned. 

“It’s not  _ your _ fault. You aren’t the one who made mom and dad act the way they did- or I guess  _ are _ . I’m just frustrated with the situation.”

Maya cleared her throat, “If I were you I would’ve just confronted them already.”

“See, but you aren’t me. And I haven’t because honestly, I don’t know if I can handle it. Plus, I already told you my truth” he took another drink of his beer.

Maya nodded, understanding that he was referring to their conversation when Maya was trying to figure out what was true to her. And that he believed people should trust that what happens to us has a reason. Although, it was very difficult to uphold that mentality through something like this.

Riley however looked confused, “‘My truth’? What’s your truth? When did you talk about this?”

“Calm down Nancy Drew” Maya quipped, “It’s not anything crazy.”

“I thought you didn’t read” Josh began to smile, but hid it with his hand.

Maya shuddered, “Don’t talk about it, it was a low point in my life.”

“Can we talk about something interesting?” Auggie whined.

Riley smiled and began to discuss the show they watched together, Josh was pretty sure it was something about bunnies. Meanwhile, he and Maya continued to eat their food and Josh finished off his beer.

Conversation at both tables had died down for the most part as people focused on eating until Eric spoke, “So Mom, Dad, why are you being so horrible to Josh?”

Amy’s fork clattered on her plate and Cory audibly gasped. Josh sunk in his chair and refused to make eye contact with anyone. 

“Ex-Excuse me?! Just because you’re an adult and not living under our roof doesn’t mean you can speak to us like that!” Alan reprimanded him.

“Well take it from someone who didn’t live under your roof,” Shawn spoke, “You are treating your own son like dirt.”

Josh winced and kept his eyes closed, wishing that he would magically disappear over and over again.

“Maybe he should respect  _ us _ then” Amy retorted coldly. 

Maya inhaled sharply, “So… the weather?” for once Josh was grateful over her constant need to joke.

Cory ignored her, “How is he not respecting you? Why did you tell him not to come today?”

“You’re dad and I went through so much with him as a child. We had to make sure he didn’t  _ die _ , and this is how he repays us. Throwing away his future.”

Josh’s hands were balled in fists on the table, his jaw clenched. They were talking about him like he wasn’t even there.

“Why do you feel he’s throwing away his future?” Feeny asked calmly.

Alan sighed, “I mean, architecture? We’re wasting our money and all the hard work we put into raising him over a degree that will lead him nowhere!” 

Josh couldn’t take it anymore, maybe it was the yelling, or the alcohol coursing through his body; but he stood up, and turned to face his parents.

“How can you even be saying all of this?! You don’t think me  _ almost dying _ didn’t affect me at all?!” He shouted.

Amy was shocked, “Josh stop it!”

“No!” he yelled, “All of this ‘we put so much work into him’ thing is  _ bullshit _ . You made sure I wouldn’t die again- I guess so I wouldn’t be a fucking failure for letting myself die- and then sent me on my merry way. I’m sorry that I still care about you and actually show up to this shit even though you treat me like trash. Y-You know what? I probably should’ve just fucking died, it would’ve made life a lot easier for you wouldn’t it?” 

Tears were streaming down his face, and part of him instantly regretted saying that while the other did not care. The room was silent, everyone surprised at his outburst.

“You don’t mean that” Alan said finally, more convincing himself than he was Josh. 

“I do. You wouldn’t have to ‘waste’ money and your life to let your kid do what he loves. Make a place for him to sleep, treat him with respect, actually  _ fucking say hello to him _ . Start pretending that I’m a total stranger to you guys, because that’s how I feel right now!”

Amy wiped a tear from her eye, “ _ Listen _ to yourself Joshua!” 

“No, don’t blame this on me. I  _ tried  _ to talk to you. Y’know, I always knew you cared about everyone else more than me, but I thought you’d have the decency to pretend you gave some semblance of a shit for me. Do you know how damaging it is for you’re own parents to just suddenly not want anything to do with you anymore?! Because that’s what you guys did” he croaked, tears barely allowing him to speak. 

“ _ You _ are being  _ extremely _ unfair” Amy stood up, angrily pointing her finger at him.

Josh walked towards the door, “Unfair is not caring about how  _ I  _ feel. Not caring about what makes  _ me _ happy. Not wanting to feel like shit isn’t exactly selfish, but kicking your own son to the curb because of one disagreement is. You don’t want to face how fucking unreasonable you are” he shrugged on his leather jacket and snatched up his duffel bag. Josh threw open the door and glanced back at all the astonished faces before slamming it behind him.

\--------

Josh had no idea how he was feeling. He knew that he was angry, but wasn’t sure if it was at himself, or his parents, or both. He was definitely tired, bottling up all those emotions and then blowing up took a lot out of him. The only thing that Josh knew right now was that he needed to get back home- wherever that was. Maybe it would be more appropriate to say ‘away from here’, but either way his truck was still at Shawn’s cabin. Taking the train would be expensive, but it was really his only option. If he travelled to New York and spent the night before riding the subway upstate to get his car, he wouldn’t have to spend quite as much though. 

On his way to the train station he walked by his old schools, and past happy families who were reunited. He knew that he took it a little too far, and said things that he probably shouldn’t have; but that was how he was feeling. It made no sense to him that it would be his  _ parents _ that made him feel this way. Parents were supposed to love and provide for their children. He knew that his parents did love him, at least to some capacity, but the way they treated him today made him feel unloved. 

Josh sighed as he waited at a crosswalk, seeing his breath appear before him due to the cold weather. He felt his phone going crazy in his hands, vibrating from texts and phone calls. Quickly turning his phone on airplane and turning up the volume to his music, he continued his trek to the station.

The station was empty once he finally arrived, as most people had already travelled earlier in the week, or in the morning. He approached the lady behind the desk, who was currently drooling all over her keyboard.

“Sorry to wake you m’am, but when does the next train to New York depart?” Josh asked cautiously.

She lifted her head up and yawned, “Huh? Oh, the trains are slow today” she glanced at her computer, “Looks like it’ll come at 7 o’clock. Would you like to purchase a ticket?”

It was only 4:15, but he nodded and fished out his wallet to pay for it. After she handed it to him, he made his way to one of the benches and just closed his eyes for a moment in an attempt to quell his guilt and anxiety. 

\--------

About an hour into his wait, Josh finally heard somebody else walk into the station. He looked up from the book he was reading to see a familiar figure walk towards him.

“Well, you made _quite_ the exit” Shawn quipped in lieu of hello, sitting down beside him.

Josh took a deep breath and braced himself, “How bad is it?”

“Let’s see… After you left Cory got in a fight with your Mom so that’s not good. And Feeny talked to them too, so now Amy and Alan are locked away in their room” Shawn answered.

“Shit.”

“Yeah, shit” Shawn folded his hands in his lap, “But what about you? How are you feeling?”

Josh ran a hand through his hair, “I’m not doing much better. I dunno, I just… I feel horrible for what I said, but that’s also how I feel about the whole situation.”

“You don’t need to tell me about not getting along with your parents.”

“Wow, I’m an asshole… Here I am complaining about  _ my _ parents when you’ve gone through so much worse” Josh shook his head at his actions. 

“Hey, I might have been through more, but that doesn’t mean how you're feeling isn’t valid” Shawn argued, “But, I don’t think you should run away. Trust me, I tried it  _ many _ times and it didn’t help.”

“What am I supposed to do?” Josh wondered aloud, staring at the floor.

Shawn chuckled softly, “Isn’t that the million dollar question?” he paused, “First you need to calm down. And you need to sort out how you feel in a more constructive way than, I dunno, repressing everything till you boil over.”

Josh laughed, “Okay, then what?”

“What am I, Topanga? I’m not some master planner!” 

“I need to talk to them don’t I?” Josh sighed, “I just… what do I even say? I doubt they ever want to see me again.”

“I beg to differ. It’ll definitely be horribly awkward but… I think they’ve realized they need to talk out their issues instead of just ignore it. You don’t have to come home right now, just don’t leave and go to New York. Because I  _ know _ you Josh, and you aren’t a terrible person. We all make mistakes and say stupid things, but you  _ want _ to fix things with your parents. And that means you  _ do _ care about them.”

Josh smiled softly at Shawn, “Thank you. Thank you for letting me stay at your cabin, and always defending me. I know genetics may say otherwise, but you’re my brother.”

“And you’re mine” Shawn grinned back, and the two stood up before hugging each other.

After a moment they pulled apart, “So, are you sticking around?” Shawn asked, stuffing his hands in his jacket.

“Yeah, I am” Josh replied, picking up his bag.

“Good” Shawn smiled, before turning on his heel and leaving Josh alone again.  

Now all Josh had to do was figure out what the hell he was going to say to his parents. Piece of cake.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the crazy long wait... the past few weeks have been crazy with school, but i'm on break now! hopefully i can post more chapters or at least get a lot more written. i've also made a poll/feedback for you guys to fill out which you can access [right here](https://goo.gl/forms/dFEpbFJeSsTRAev73). it should only take about ten minutes and helps me know what you guys like and want from this fic! it is completely anonymous! hope you enjoy this chapter!

The sun had already set and the starry night sky covered Philadelphia before Josh had made it back home. He had been wandering around aimlessly all night, trying to wrap his head around figuring out how in the hell he was going to fix things with his parents- not to mention his other problems. His stomach growled throughout the evening, he hadn’t eaten much earlier and by now all the good places were closed. Not much was progress was made except for the fact that he was sure he gave his muscles a good workout while walking around for hours carrying his luggage. Eventually he arrived at the doorstep of his childhood home, fumbling with putting the keys in the lock and turning them the right way- and that was after the ten minutes it took to find them in first place.

A few hours later Josh was pulled away from his slumber as someone bumped into the table beside him, knocking something down.

“Shit.”

He fought the urge to open his eyes, desperate for rest, but the prospect of eventually falling back asleep became impossible as his curiosity grew. After giving in, he sat up and noticed he was on the floral couch in the living room, still dressed in jeans and a leather jacket. A sharp chill ran through his body, and he realized he wasn’t wearing a blanket. Josh didn’t even remember coming in, he must’ve just passed out face first in one of Amy’s throw pillows. He reached over to the lamp by his head, illuminating the perpetrator like an interrogation lamp.

“Oops” Maya shrugged, caught in the act. She quickly bent over and put the pictures she knocked off back onto the table.

Josh raised a brow, “Why are you awake? And why were you so close to the couch?”

“It’s dark in here,” Maya crossed her arms, “I was heading down for an early breakfast. Dinner was a little too dramatic for me to fill myself up like I usually do on Thanksgiving.”

“What time is it?” he rubbed at his eyes, ignoring her last comment.

Maya reached into her pocket of her pajama bottoms, pulling out her cell phone, “6:40. When did you get home?”

Josh shrugged, “I dunno. I was out most of the night though. What’dya want for breakfast?”

“Why are you asking? You should just go back to sleep.”

“Please, like I could sleep with the knowledge that _you’re_ cooking. I’m pretty sure you’ll burn the house down. Besides, I’m hungry too” he explained, standing up.

Maya punched his arm lightly, “I’m not _that_ bad!”

“Oh yeah,” Josh smirked, challenging her, “What about all those burnt s’mores? Or those salty cookies, or when you tried to make yourself scrambled eggs and-”

“Alright I get it” she rolled her eyes, “But in that case, I’ll have eggs benedict, blueberry muffins, mimosas, pancak-”

Josh shot her a look, “I said I’d cook for us, not open a restaurant.”

“I just want some coffee and toast” Maya grinned, proud that she pushed his buttons.

“Sounds good. You get the ingredients out while I change?”

Maya nodded in agreement before heading to the kitchen and leaving Josh alone. He let out a sigh before rummaging through his bag, finding his black joggers and grey Phillie’s hoodie. There was really no point of him changing into pajamas, but he wanted to be comfortable. He walked to the downstairs bathroom, quickly peeling off his clothes from the other day. As soon as he changed, Josh felt much better- and warmer. After stuffing his clothes back into his bag, he strolled into the kitchen; where Maya was sitting on one of the stools at the island, scrolling through her phone.

She turned to look at him as he entered the room, “Hey. I put the stuff out.”

He thanked her as he poured some water in the kettle and setting it on the stove to boil.

“So… How bad was it?” Josh inquired nervously.

“Hmm… Well everyone kind of broke out fighting afterwards- Although I’m guessing Shawn already told you that” Maya bit her lip as she thought about what to say next, “My mom took Auggie upstairs while that was happening-”

“Oh shit… I freaked out in front of Auggie. God I’m such a _dick_ ” He rubbed his temples.

Maya shook her head, “He hasn’t sworn _yet_ , so I think it’s okay.”

“That’s not what I meant” he looked at her pointedly before taking the kettle off and pouring the hot water into the french press with the other coffee beans.

“I know just… How are you holding up?” she changed the subject.

Josh filled up each slot in the toaster with sourdough bread, “Fine. Well not fine, but I’m not _quite_ as horrible as I was yesterday.”

“Have you figured out what you’re going to say to them yet?” Maya asked, propping up her face with her hand.

“No,” Josh shook his head, “I stayed up all night trying to but… I just kept thinking about what could go wrong” he admitted.

Maya tucked some of her hair behind her ear, “The way I see it, you already blew up. You’ve got nothing to lose now.”

“But this isn’t a fight with some random people. These are my _parents_ ” he argued.

Before Maya could respond, the toaster made a noise, letting them know it was done. He set the slice of bread on a plate and spread the butter on them; before finishing up the coffee and putting their preferred sweeteners into the mugs. He handed her the pastel blue mug to her while he drank from the mustard yellow one.

“Boing apple tea” she raised a piece of toast before taking a big bite out of it.

Josh furrowed his brows in confusion, “Do you mean _bon appétit_?”

“I’ve watched _Beauty and The Beast_ at least twelve times, I know my french.”

He shook his head and chuckled into his cup before taking a long sip, letting it burn his tongue a bit. The two ate in silence, which started off as peaceful but became like a crushing weight on his chest. If they weren’t fighting the quiet would be nice, he would be drowning in the calming presence of her and the fact that they can be themselves around each other. But he felt like he couldn’t enjoy talking to her, not without the voice in the back of his head reminding him they weren’t on good terms. Josh knew they needed to make up, that barrier between them felt awful, and he didn’t enjoy how they were walking on eggshells around one another. He didn’t need another person to be fighting with, and frankly he couldn’t stand the fact that they weren’t comfortable with each other. Especially because of him.

“I’m sorry” they both blurted out simultaneously.

Maya looked surprised that he was also apologizing, “You can go first.”

“No, _you_ can go first.”

“Alright, you know, I’m just going to go or else we’ll just keep at this for an hour instead of actually apologizing” Maya declared.

“Fair enough” Josh nodded in agreement, leaning his back against the counter below the window.

She stared at the coffee in her mug, thinking about what to say, “I’m sorry for not believing in you, not understanding what you needed. I think I just… I didn’t want to believe that Amy and Alan were capable of hurting you like that. Maybe that was for myself, I look up to your family as something that’s perfect, whole. What I don’t have. That it’s possible to have a loving family. Or maybe it was for you, I don’t want to see you in that kind of pain. But I just ended up adding to it.”

“No, sure I was mad at you, but I brought this on myself. If I would’ve just _told_ you why I was upset than maybe we wouldn’t be in this situation” Josh said.

“Don’t blame yourself for that. You were feeling what you were feeling- and you didn’t want to tell us” she shook her head, “But I do want you to know that I’m here for you talk to if you need to. It’s not good for you to bottle everything up.”

Josh took a sip of his coffee before replying, “I just don’t want to bother you with that stuff. You have more important things like school to worry about”

“Josh, _you_ are important to me. You’re my friend and you aren’t bothering me if you are telling me how you feel. I just need you to let me in.”

His eyes snapped up from his mug, “But what about wanting to see my family as perfect, that nothing could go wrong?”

Maya sighed, “I dunno, it’s… unrealistic. I kept on focusing about what I don’t have, and forced you guys to live it for me. To give me hope, or someone to turn to. And you still do, but I don’t need to get that at your expense. The whole argument with your parents- it helped me realized I need to be grateful for what I _do_ have.”

“Because I was ungrateful?” he asked.

“No, because you felt like you weren’t appreciated. I don’t want the people in my life to think I’m not thankful for what they’ve done for me, or even just their existence. I think you acted the way you did because you felt underappreciated by Amy and Alan. You… You said it wouldn’t make a difference to them if you had died. And my heart broke. I don’t want the people I love to feel that way, especially if it’s because of _me_.”

Josh took a moment to process what she had just said, “You don’t treat others like my parents have treated me the past few days.”

“I wasn’t saying that, I just need to focus on what I _do_ have. I know I have that reputation of always being negative, but I _do_ want to be happy,” she joked half-heartedly, “And if I focus more on the ways I’m lucky instead of my deadbeat dad, I might be able to smile a bit more.”

He smiled, “Good. I’m glad you’re starting to see you are _so_ much more than your dad… The circumstances you come from don’t dictate your life.”

She smiled back at him, and he felt like he should give her a hug, or hold her hand or something. They stared at each other for a moment while he decided whether or not to act on the feeling, and he felt himself standing up straight and moving towards her; his brain having no control over his movements.

Before he could do anything, Riley bounded down the stairs, jumping off of the bottom step and breaking his inexplicable stupor. She smiled softly at him before practically toppling him over with a hug.

“I’m glad you decided to stay” she said once she finally pulled away.

Josh leaned against the counter once more, “Me too. Besides I know you’d be pissed at me if I didn’t fix this by Christmas. It _is_ your favorite holiday” he joked.

Riley laughed and greeted Maya with a hug as well before grabbing some orange juice from the fridge and pouring herself a glass. Josh asked her if she wanted some toast and she nodded enthusiastically before sitting on the barstool next to Maya’s.

“So…” Riley looked between the two, drinking her juice.

Maya narrowed her eyes in suspicion, “What are you doing Riles?”

“Nothing!” Riley put her hands up in surrender, “I was just wondering if you guys aren’t fighting anymore.”

“Yeah, we worked it all out” Josh answered as his dipped the knife into some butter before spreading it on the toast.

Maya sipped some more of her coffee, “Now all that’s left is to do is talk to your parents.”

“Thanks for reminding me” he grumbled, setting Riley’s plate of food in front of her.

“It’ll be fine” Maya attempted to reassure him, “But if it _doesn’t_ go well, you technically don’t have to see them again.”

Riley gasped, “Maya! Josh, don’t listen to her, I’m sure it’ll go great.”

“She might be right” Josh admitted, “Assuming they even come downstairs.”

“Oh they will. If not by their own volition, it’s their turn to be forced into fixing things” Riley stated, slightly intimidating Josh despite the fact that she was wearing bunny slippers.

The thought didn’t help him much though, because either way he nervous as hell about seeing them. Dread was forming in the pit of his stomach, and no matter what conversation the two girls tried to strike up with him he could barely focus. All that was going on in his brain was all of the things that could go wrong, or a constant replay of the fight they had yesterday evening.

As the morning went on everyone started trickling into the kitchen, and he did whatever he could to keep himself busy. He helped Topanga with breakfast, ignoring her protests that he ‘should be resting’ and that he was ‘not in the right emotional state’. And out of guilt, he watched over Auggie and made sure that his nephew knew that acting the way he did yesterday and saying naughty words was not okay.

After what felt like ages, Alan and Amy finally made their way downstairs. Part of Josh felt instantly relieved, while another part wanted to melt into the ground or change his name and move to Norway. Either way he had to face them, but it didn’t help that everyone was staring at the three of them, increasing the tension and the awkwardness of it all.

Topanga was the one who broke the silence, “Alright everybody out!”

Katy, Auggie, and Eric left to the living room with only slight reluctance. Following orders, Josh started to walk to the living room until his sister-in-law put a hand on his chest, “No, _you_ have to stay.”

He sighed and sat at the table, “It was worth a shot.”

“You four however,” Topanga approached Riley, Maya, Cory, and Shawn who were all around the island, “Need to leave.”

Cory scoffed, “I am thoroughly offended. I am here to support my brother.”

“No, you are here because you are nosy. Besides, Josh is old enough to do this himself” his wife countered, although Josh was not totally sure how accurate her last statement was.

Maya sat up straight, “Well, the last fight we got into was about not being a supportive friend. So I am going to stay here for totally unselfish reasons.”

“Maya?”

“Yes Boing?”

“Just go outside.”

She sighed but nodded, and Riley followed behind her. Cory and Shawn eventually left with Topanga, who had to literally drag them out. He was pretty sure everyone was pressed up against the door listening anyways, but not seeing his audience helped a bit.

Amy and Alan had joined him at the table now, but none of them were looking at each other, let alone talking. This carried on for five minutes, which was when Josh felt like the silence was screaming at him.

He took a deep breath, “So…”

Okay, not deep or profound, but it broke the silence.

“So? That’s all you have to say?” Amy raised a brow, “Joshua, you behaved _unacceptably_ last night and you just say ‘so’?”

“You guys weren’t exactly saying anything either. What do you _want_ me to say?” Josh crossed his arms.

“Well, it would be nice if you apologize for starters” Alan stated.

Josh was slightly offended that they thought this was a one-sided deal, but it didn’t surprise him, “I’m sorry for blowing up last night, and saying some… unpleasant things. _But_ that doesn’t mean that’s not how I’m feeling.”

“So you think that we don’t _care_ about you?!” Amy scoffed.

“What the hell am I supposed to think when you guys wouldn’t even hug me, or when you openly talked about how I’m such a burden” Josh’s voice rose, “Yeah, that really shows a person you love them.”

“And you think swearing at your parents and treating them like that _is_?” Alan protested.

“I’m angry _because_ I care about you guys, and you’re treating me like shit.”

Amy’s eyes narrowed, “We raised you, and you have been continuously disrespecting us and taking all of the things we did for you for granted!”

Josh thought about what Maya said earlier, about being ungrateful for her mom. It was true, he could and should appreciate his parents more. They’ve done a lot for him. But that doesn’t dismiss what they did. He was open to reconciling everything, but they both had to be willing to do so. Whenever him and Maya fought, it was because they didn’t communicate and just yelled. And when they made up it was because they were calm and mature, and talked it out instead of yelling and throwing blame around.

“I want to fix this” Josh started, “But to do that we all need to be mature. We’re acting like kids while expecting respect. All three of us are to blame and all three of us got hurt.”

Alan nodded in agreement, proud of his son’s maturity. Amy, however, looked upset at the insinuation that she was acting like a child. She didn’t say anything though, and he supposed she was waiting for him to apologize first.

“I’m sorry for exploding. I didn’t mean for it to get to that point or to hurt you guys. You guys do a lot for me and do care about me but… The way you were treating me hurt me a lot. When I first called you guys _lied_ to me. You weren’t even going to tell me the real reason why I wasn’t invited. I couldn’t- and still don’t- understand why you hated me so much that you couldn’t even stand to see me. My nights for the past few weeks have just been me tossing and turning, despising myself for what I could’ve possibly done wrong. _You told me that I was wasting the second chance I got to live_ . How can I _not_ be upset about that?” Josh’s voice shook, and he fought back tears, “We don’t need to have a perfect relationship. But I want your respect.”

“But what about respecting _us_?” Amy countered, and Alan put a hand on her arm.

Josh’s eyes snapped up, “I tried to reach out to you guys. It shouldn’t have even taken that, but either way you guys had opportunities to fix this. To talk this out like we’re doing right now so none of this would happen. Why didn’t you guys answer my calls?”

The two stayed silent, processing what had been said in the past few moments.

“I think…” Amy paused, struggling to answer, “I think part of me wanted to just push you away so that I didn’t know that you were _just_ out of my reach” she admitted.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“Well, we had already been on rocky waters for a while; and you had been becoming so independent… I just felt like I was losing you. When you’re a parent you don’t want your kids to leave you so… I guess I didn’t want to know that you were right there but I still couldn’t talk to you. Sometimes it’s worse to know that you have no control over the growing distance than to cause it yourself” she explained, although Josh still didn’t really understand the logic behind it.

He thought for a moment before responding, “Okay… But why not do the same to Morgan? She never comes to visit for the holidays and barely calls. Or why not just try to fix it rather than make it worse? I wasn’t _trying_ to create this huge distance, but I need to be more independant now.”

“That’s just how Morgan is” she continued when she noticed how unsatisfied he was with her response, “I’m sad that she doesn’t come over that much, but she _does_ live in California with her husband and children. We still have a good standing even though we don’t talk much.”

“So how am I any different? I call at least once a week and I’d be here in a heartbeat if you asked me to. I know that I could be better but I just… I don’t understand the Big Bad Thing I did to make you feel this way.”

This time Alan answered, “To be quite honest I’m not sure either… Maybe it’s just that you’re the last kid to leave the nest, or that you actually stood up against us. But the way we’ve been treating you isn’t right. And we’re not perfect, I don’t think anyone can be. However, we need to remember that you’re our son, and no matter how much we might butt heads, we still care about you, and you care about us” Alan smiled, his eyes glistening with tears. Alan said the last part to both him _and_ Amy, making sure she understood what he was saying.

“Thank you” Josh smiled back, “I don’t ever want you guys to feel like I’d hurt you on purpose.”

The three sat in silence, Josh waiting for at least a semblance of an apology from his mother. Eventually Alan cleared his throat loudly before taking a long sip of his coffee, looking expectantly at his wife.

Amy took a moment to realize why everyone had been silent, eyes widening once she did, “Oh! Josh I’m… I’m sorry I’ve been so cruel to you these past few weeks. I was out of line and acting out, and we should’ve just worked it out earlier. It’s not just you who has to try, _I_ need to as well. I don’t want to push you away anymore.”

They stood up and enveloped their son in a hug, Amy pecking his forehead with kisses and leaving lipstick stains all over.

Josh laughed, pushing them away, “You guys are embarrassing. Maybe we should go back to not hugging and talking” he joked.

\--------

Hours had passed, and the sun was getting ready to set. The family finally had some time to be normal- or at least act the way they usually do- now that they had made up. It was still a little awkward, and he knew everything wasn’t fixed- that these feelings lingered, but it was better. _He_ was better.

They were nearing the end of their game of monopoly, and Josh was pretty sure Cory and Shawn would never talk again.

“You took all my money!” Cory yelled.

Shawn shrugged, “Not my fault you didn’t buy that property.”

Everyone had lost their money earlier on, Josh and Maya spent it all to sabotage everyone else.

Topanga watched as Shawn rolled the dice and let out a cheer at the result, “Well, I guess it wasn’t worth much. Because you now owe me money” she smirked.

“You are an evil woman” Shawn glared before handing her the last of his stack.

“It’s okay, I won” she shrugged and grinned happily.

Josh laughed, “You have very sound morals. Quite admirable” he quipped.

“Well, I think it’s time we head out” Cory pouted.

Maya raised a brow, “Is that because you’re sad you lost?”

“No” he defended, although it was obvious that was part of it, “I don’t want to be driving in the dark the whole time.”

Amy nodded, “Yeah, it’s very unsafe especially with all the crazy New York traffic.”

Riley and Auggie began to clean up the game while everyone said their goodbyes.

“Thanks for the dinner” Shawn hugged Amy and Alan, “And about what I said yesterday… Sorry. You’ve done a lot for me and I was out of line.”

“Please, if you didn’t disrespect an authority figure are you _really_ Shawn Hunter?” Alan patted his back.

Maya noticed that Josh hadn’t went said goodbye to his parents, “Are you coming with us?”

He thought for a moment, looking at his parents and then at everybody else, “No, I think I’m going to stay here for a couple more days. We’ve got some catching up to do.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy new year!!!!!! here’s a very joshaya heavy chapter to ease the pain of 2016. reminder that i have a feedback form that you can answer [here](https://goo.gl/forms/1MPvKpUS6ZQjYjFU2). it’s completely anonymous!

December had now come, the trees were bare and despite enjoying the cold, Josh had to bundle up in order to not become a human icicle. The heater in his dorm’s building often broke, and when it  _ did _ work it wasn’t very powerful. He and Andrew scraped up enough money for a space heater, but Josh still found himself shivering throughout the night. Thankfully, Topanga’s was always warm and he was able to drink lots of coffee. Business had been picking up a little bit more lately, with finals coming up and the holidays season making people crave pastries and hot chocolate. Most of the patrons were kind though, and liked Josh so work wasn’t too hard. There were only a few people who bothered him, and he didn’t even really mind.

“This isn’t working. Do you think I could just not write the essay and give my teacher some chocolate and $20?” Maya sighed as she stared at the laptop in front of her. She was currently sat at the counter by the cash register nursing a hot chocolate.

Josh finished ringing up the customer in front of him before replying, “Isn’t this for history?”

Maya nodded, “But you know how much Cory loves chocolate.”

“True,” Josh agreed and turned her laptop towards him, reading over her essay so far, “But you know Riley wouldn’t let you do that, right?”

“I need to stop talking to you. The pain I experience when having to say ‘you’re right’ is insufferable” Maya grumbled.

Josh chuckled, “You  _ could _ talk to your friends. It’s not like they’re far away” he gestured to Lucas, Zay, Smackle, Riley, and Farkle who were sitting in their usual spot. 

“So… What are we doing tomorrow?” Riley asked placing her hands in her lap and looking expectantly at her friends.

This elicited a sigh from Farkle, “Can you  _ please _ stop trying to get us to tell you what we’re doing for your birthday?”

“Pretty please?” Riley pouted, “I hate not knowing.”

“It’s going to be great, so don’t worry princess” Lucas put an arm around her, and Maya made a gagging noise that only Josh heard.

“Wait… it’s your birthday tomorrow?” Zay sat looking confused. 

Riley gasped, “Zay!”

“Chill cutie,” Zay smiled, “I was just messing with you. Besides even if I forgot you talk about it  _ non-stop _ .”

“I think it’s cute” Lucas smiled and looked fondly at Riley, causing everyone to groan.

Smackle cleared her throat, “Riley, you are very intelligent. I am surprised you have not figured out that we-” Farkle covered her mouth quickly, stopping her from revealing anything.

Maya returned her attention to Josh, “I’d really rather not have to deal with all of  _ that _ .”

“Isn’t that how you guys act everyday?” He pointed out before taking her empty plate and putting it into the sink to wash. He wanted a head start for when he closed the bakery for the night in the next hour or so. 

“Yeah but… Riley is  _ so  _ persistent in trying to get me to reveal what we have planned for tomorrow” she answered, grabbing her laptop back.

Josh smiled mischievously, “I thought you guys were best friends. Are you just struggling to resist answering her questions?”

“No!” Maya shook her head immediately. 

“Don’t be ashamed,” Josh smirked, “There is nothing wrong with having emotions, especially for your best friend.”

Maya crossed her arms, “I am unbreakable. She has no effect on me.”

“Hey Riley could you come over here? I’m trying to help Maya with her essay but I can’t remember much from high school” he waved over his niece and shrugged innocently under Maya’s glare. 

Riley smiled and skipped over to the counter, “What’s up?”

At the same time Maya said ‘nothing’ he answered, “Well, her thesis is pretty strong but I’m not sure if this evidence is right… The French Revolution kind of went in one ear and out the other.” This was a lie, but Josh knew Riley, and he knew exactly what she was going to say that would push Maya’s buttons. 

Riley skimmed over Maya’s essay, “Oh, Marie Antoinette! ‘Let them eat cake’” she giggled, “Speaking of which… What kind of cake are we having tomorrow?” 

Maya winced, “Sorry Riles, my lips are sealed.”

“Why are you so eager to find out? I thought you love surprises?” Josh questioned.

“Oh, I do” Riley replied, “But I just get so excited about birthdays and holidays… I just want to know everything” she grinned, her eyes twinkling. Josh could’ve sworn Maya mumbled something about having to resist the human embodiment of sunshine. 

A customer approached the counter, waiting to order, “Why don’t you two work on the essay over there,” Josh gestured to the couches, “I gotta work.”

Riley nodded and dragged Maya off, the blonde spitfire shooting daggers at him with her eyes. 

\--------

An hour had passed, and since it was late there were barely any customers. Josh spent most of the time getting a head start on closing by cleaning up the dishes and counters- and eavesdropping on the six friends once in awhile. There wasn’t really much else to do, and it was interesting to hear what Riley and her friends were getting up to and some of the trivial things they considered problems. Their frustration was valid, but a three page paper on  _ To Kill A Mockingbird _ was nothing on his four page diagnoses on a fake patient, ten page paper on a disorder of his choosing, and a 100 multiple choice test and in-class essay he had for psychology. And that was on top of all of his other classes. He was  _ very _ tempted to get revenge on Hippocampus Prime after the semester was over. 

Most of the school talk died down when Farkle and Smackle- whose names still seemed fake- left to go home. They seemed to be the most dedicated to their finals, although he wasn’t sure why they were so worried as they were geniuses. Riley and Lucas had also been worried but their respective best friends distracted them by talking about some T.V. show they all watched. 

The next to leave were Zay and Lucas, or rather, Lucas was  _ supposed _ to leave with Zay but got too distracted while saying goodbye to Riley that Zay left without him. Eventually Lucas left after being punched in the arm by Maya when he almost revealed the plans for Riley’s birthday; and what seemed like an angry call from his dad. Riley told him to call her if he needed to talk later as he left out the door, and he shot her a smile.

“So, I guess it would be a waste of time to ask you what you got for me?” Riley asked as she leaned on the counter, waiting for Maya to clean up her stuff.

Josh nodded, “Sorry Riley, you’ll just have to wait until tomorrow to see, although you do make it hard for me not to tell you… I’m guessing it would be a waste of time for  _ me _ to say you just have one more sleep until you find out?”

“Yeah, I get too excited to sleep,” Riley admitted, “I’ll probably just stay up reading.”

“Yes, reading your romance novels and imagining it’s you and Lucas?” Maya teased, walking up to the two of them.

Josh chuckled, “Don’t tease her so much. I’m guessing when Lucas comes over Cory makes them sit in different rooms and talk through walkie-talkies.”

“No, now he makes us write notes and reads over them to make sure we are behaving” Riley sighed, and Josh laughed before she shot him a look.

“Oh my god” he shook his head, “That’s cruel.”

Riley shrugged, “He usually doesn’t know when Lucas comes over.”

“Riley!” Maya’s eyes widened in surprise, “You rebel.”

“Okay, let’s stop this conversation before I get concerned” Josh shuddered, not wanting to think about what the cowboy and his niece got up to.

“Sorry, you’re right” Riley walked over and gave him a hug, “Goodnight Uncle Josh.”

“‘Night Riley.” 

“Goodnight Uncle Boing” Maya smirked.

Josh rolled his eyes, “Goodnight Maya.”

The two girls flipped the sign on the door to let those who passed by know the bakery was closed as they made their way out. Josh continued to clean up the dishes, picking up the ones left behind by Riley and her friends and any trash he missed earlier. He usually played chill indie music on the speakers throughout his shift, but during closing he played more alternative music, mostly to keep him from falling asleep. He hummed along to The Strokes, tapping his foot to the beat. 

The bell above the door rang and he whipped around, gripping onto the whisk he was washing like a weapon.

Maya snickered and put her hands up in the air, “Don’t attack, it’s just me.”

“Why are you here,” Josh sighed dropping the whisk back into the sink, “Did you forget something?”

“Nope. You and I are going to bake some cupcakes for Riley’s birthday” she made her way behind the counter.

Josh shook his head, “I think you mean that  _ you’re _ going to bake the cupcakes. I have studying to do,” he put a hand on her shoulder, “And you aren’t supposed to be back here.”

Maya sent him a look and rolled her eyes, “Relax Boing. Do you even have anything less than a B?”

Josh hesitated, “...No.”

“Then you can skip out on studying for the night” she shrugged, putting a bag on the counter. 

“I have those grades because I study,” Josh crossed his arms, “Speaking of, don’t you have an essay to write?”

Maya sighed, “Listen, do you want to have to explain why the bakery is burned down to Topanga after your shift or are you going to help me?”

“So, what type of cupcakes are we making?”

“That’s what I thought,” she smirked, “We’re making chocolate cupcakes with caramel in the middle with vanilla buttercream frosting on top.”

“Maya, I may be a better cook than you, but I’m not Bobby fucking Flay” Josh quipped, rejecting such a complicated recipe.

“Who?” 

“He’s a famous chef” he explained.

She shook her head, “Sorry, the only chef I know is Boyardee.”

“That’s sad… And I’m a college student who lives off of ramen and coffee.”

“Fine, we won’t put the caramel in” Maya compromised, “But if Riley hates it it’s your fault.”

“Hey, I already have a gift for her,” Josh began to measure out the flour, “And I thought you already had several.”

Maya nodded, “Yes… But I  _ may _ have challenged Huckleberry and said that I’ll be the one to give Riles the best gifts and that his will be horrible.”

Josh laughed, “Ah, you really are humble and non-impulsive.”

“Shut up. Anyways I just need to cover my bases. I’ve been saving up for tomorrow anyways.”

He didn’t respond and continued to measure and mix the dry and wet ingredients. Even though Maya pretended to be tough, she really cared about Riley and giving her the best birthday she could. Josh could tell it was because Riley herself was so selfless and caring, and Maya thought she deserved the same treatment. She was being so competitive with Lucas because she was so passionate about being Riley’s best friend. Despite wanting to go back to his dorm to sleep or study, he didn’t really mind helping Maya in her simultaneously angry and cute state. 

Maya sat herself on the counter where Josh was baking, eating some of the chocolate and swinging her legs back and forth to the music. She regaled him with stupid stories and jokes as they usually did, and attempted to start a food fight by flicking flour on him. He didn’t take the bait much to Maya’s disappointment, and continued to sing along to his playlist. 

“ _ You ask me what I’m thinking about, I tell you that I’m thinking about whatever you’re thinking about _ ,” Josh sang, gradually stirring the dry ingredients into the wet, “ _ Tell me something that I’ll forget, and you might have to tell me again- it’s crazy what you’ll do for a friend _ .” 

Maya smiled, “You never told me you could sing.”

“Because I can’t” Josh furrowed his brows, focusing his energy into stirring the batter. 

“Spare me the denial and humbleness” Maya joked.

He couldn’t help the small smile that spread across his face, “Fine. Thank you” he brought out the cupcake tin, trying to hide the blush the was creeping up his cheeks.

Maya looked pleased with herself and began to sing along as she watched him pour the batter in the tin, “ _ Go ahead and cry little girl, Nobody does it like you do; I know how much it matters to you, I know that you got daddy issues. And if you were my little girl I'd do whatever I could do; I'd run away and hide with you. I love that you got daddy issues, and I do too.” _

Josh set the timer for fifteen minutes and cleaned up a bit, moving the bowls to the sink and grabbing a few new ones, “Alright, you’re going to help me with the frosting.”

“I am?” Maya raised a brow, “I thought I was a danger to society in the kitchen?”

“Yes, but there’s no heat involved with icing, and besides, you need to learn so that I’m not worried for your safety when I can’t cook for you” He explained.

“Silly, I’m  _ obviously _ going to live with Riley once we move out” Maya rolled her eyes.

Josh chuckled, “Sure. But what if Lucas moves in too? Can you handle them being all… Well,  _ them _ ?”

Maya shuddered, “God no. Teach me.”

Josh smiled, gathering the ingredients the recipe called for. 

“Why doesn’t this look like frosting?” Maya huffed.

Josh looked at her in awe, amazed how little she knew about cooking, “Because we need to stir it together.” He handed her a wooden spoon.

“Isn’t this the part where you hold me from behind, putting your hands on mine and show me how?” Maya winked.

“W-what? I’m not flirting with you… And even if I was-which I’m not- I wouldn’t resort to something so desperate” Josh defended.

She smirked, “So you’ve thought about how you would flirt with me?”     

“No! Just stir” He frowned, distracting himself with washing the dishes. 

Maya laughed to herself before continuing to stir. A few minutes later she had a taste of the frosting, “Wow… This isn’t actually terrible!”

“See? I mean, not the healthiest to learn but it’s a start” Josh tasted some for himself, humming in content.

Maya turned to him, “How did you learn to cook? The only other boy I know who can cook is Farkle, and he’s not very normal.”

“My mom cooks a lot” he replied, “I helped her a lot with cooking. Sometimes I helped Topanga when I visited them when I was younger too.”

“Are things better with them? Your parents I mean” Maya asked with caution.

Josh nodded, “It’s getting better. We’re trying.”

The timer went off suddenly on full volume, making them both jump slightly before he took the cupcakes out. Maya got her decorating tools out while they waited for them to cool off. 

“Alright, step aside and let the master do her work” Maya rolled up her sleeves.

Josh scoffed, “I did all the hard work and you’re not even going to let me decorate? That’s the best part!” 

“I made the frosting” Maya pointed out, but Josh just raised his brow expectantly.

“Fine. But you only get to decorate this ugly cupcake” She placed it in front of him. It wasn’t even that ugly, just not ‘perfect enough’ for Riley. 

They began to work on their respective cupcakes, Maya writing out ‘Happy Birthday Riley!’ and drawing purple cats and rainbows everywhere. It was probably for the best that she was the one who was decorating them, because they looked a hell of a lot better than Josh’s cupcake. He had mostly just been putting everything they had on it, creating a mess of clashing icings and sprinkles.

Maya glanced over and chuckled, “You’re a modern day Van Gogh.”

“Shut up” Josh retorted, even though he smiling at her joke.

Maya grinned and looked over again, longer this time, “You have some…” she gestured to her cheek.

“What?”

Maya shook her head, “Nevermind, I’ll get it for you.”

She moved closer, his blue eyes looking into hers, trying to figure out what she was going to do. She took her thumb and wiped some frosting off of his cheek, and then licked it off of her finger.

“...Thanks” Josh said lamely, confused by what just happened.

Maya just hummed in response, continuing to work on the cupcakes. 

It was weird, it wasn’t like they hadn’t hugged or anything, but the action felt so much more intimate even though she was just getting something off of his face. Yet, he found his gaze on her, not able to tear it away. She looked so happy, she was doing what she was passionate about- art. Sure, it wasn’t on a canvas, but she was still using her creativity. Maya was so talented, and she was doing this because she cared about Riley. She tucked a piece of hair that fell in her face behind her ear, biting on her lip. Time didn’t feel real, she was just focusing on her art and he was focusing on her. He wasn’t really sure  _ why _ he couldn’t look away. Maybe it was because it was fascinating seeing her do something she loves. Or maybe it was because he was sleep deprived. Yeah, that was it.  

Maya finished 20 minutes later, and the two cleaned up after themselves before putting the cupcakes in a big clear container. 

She let out a breath, “Alright, you are now relinquished of your duties. Go have fun studying, loser.”

“I think I’m going to sleep instead,” He checked the time on his phone which read 11:40, “It’s pretty late. Do you need me to walk you home?”

“No, Shawn’s in town for Riley’s birthday. He said he was going to pick me up.”

“Do you want me to wait with you?” Josh asked.

Maya rolled her eyes, “I’m fine. Thanks for helping me tonight Boing.”

Josh nodded, “No problem. It wasn’t  _ totally _ horrible.”

“Wow, don’t make me blush, Boing” she quipped.

“I’m going to leave before you can call me that again” he grabbed his bag, “I’ll lock everything up so just make sure the door is closed when you leave.”

Maya saluted, “See ya Boing!”

\--------

Josh was currently running late for Riley’s ‘surprise’ party. She knew everyone was going to do something with her but she didn’t know when or what they planned. Auggie was going to distract her while everyone set the party up on the roof and eventually bring her up there. However, the subway was crowded and full of idiots who had no idea how to use it. He clutched onto his gift for Riley as he shoved his way out of the station before feeling his phone buzz.

**maya hart:** _ boing where r u??!! riles is gonna b here in 10 _

**maya hart:** _ BOING IF U DONT COME U WONT B ALIVE 4 UR OWN BDAY _

**josh matthews:** _sorry, the_ _subway was crazy. i’ll be there in a few_

He ran up the stairs, trying to be quiet just in case Riley got curious and went to go see what was going on. The nights he spent sneaking out and partying in highschool certainly helped. When he poked his head through the door he saw an angry Maya waiting for him.

“Finally! Put your gift there and get into position” Maya pulled him to a table full of gifts, almost ripping his arm out of his socket.

“Position?” Josh raised a brow, confused.

She rolled her eyes, “Hold these balloons and stand next to Huckleberry.”

Josh obeyed, standing next to Lucas. He was wearing a fancy blue button down and his kept tapping his feet nervously.

“Are you okay?” Josh whispered. 

Lucas’ head snapped up looked at him, “Oh, yeah sorry. Just worried she won’t like my present.”

“I’m sure you’re fine” Josh reassured him, “You gave her a jellybean and she thought it was the epitome of romance.”

“Well, the jellybean was actually pretty impor-”

Maya shushed them, narrowing her eyes in warning. It was funny seeing her all worked up. 

Soon Riley opened the door with Auggie at her side, already smiling widely before they could even yell ‘Happy birthday!’ 

“This is so much better than I thought it would be!” Tears welled up in her eyes and she went to hug Maya.

“Does that mean she didn’t think we could throw a good party for her?” Zay mumbled beside Josh.

“You’re the one who pretended to forget about her birthday” Farkle pointed out.

Zay considered this, “Yeah, you’re right little genius.” Farkle beamed at the praise. 

Riley loved the cupcakes he and Maya made, exclaiming that they were both beautiful and delicious. Maya proudly smirked at Lucas, enjoying her victory. The shit eating grin only grew larger when Riley literally screamed over Maya’s presents. It was a limited edition poster from their favorite show, along with clothes and purple cat slippers. 

“My present next” Lucas got up, and took out a big box from behind one of the potted plants. Riley’s jaw dropped and Maya tensed next to Josh. 

Riley opened the box, pulling out a giant teddy bear .

“It’s a new Barry the Bear,” Lucas explained, “But you don’t just need to rely on it for love and comfort. Because I’m here too.”

Maya growled and shook with anger “A bear. Huckleberry bought a life size teddy bear. Oh, I’m going to  _ destroy _ him.”

Josh stifled a laugh, “Well, he didn’t call it Barry the Bear-Bear, so that probably lost him a couple of points.”

He looked back at Riley and Lucas, who were kissing while Cory was walking towards them to pull them apart. 

“Or not” Josh shrugged as his brother forced Lucas to stand in the corner.

Riley opened her presents from Farkle and Smackle next, and it came to be Josh’s turn. She opened the pastel purple package that Jasmine wrapped after she went on a ten minute rant about why Josh couldn’t give Riley a present wrapped in the NYU newspaper. Inside was some nice editions of a few books she mentioned she wanted, and a bag of gummy worms.

Riley smiled, “Thank you Uncle Josh” she went over to hug him.

“Happy birthday Riley” he hugged her back, proud to have her as his niece. 

Cory cleared his throat, “Alright, step aside amateurs- the best gift is coming.”

“Dad, gifts are supposed to be sincere, and this isn’t a competition” Riley sighed.

Topanga emerged from the door, carrying a cage containing a fluffy brown bunny.

“Oh. My. God!” Riley squealed excitedly, running over to the cage.

“Yeah” Cory flipped his imaginary hair, “That’s what I thought.”

“Dammit!” Lucas and Maya cursed in unison.

“I can’t believe we both lost to them!” Maya groaned.

Josh raised a brow, “Well, they  _ are _ her parents.”

She ignored him and headed to the cupcakes for comfort while he walked to Riley and her new bunny.

The rest of the night was filled with strange party games that he opted out of and dancing to upbeat indie pop music. The other adults and Auggie retreated back to the roof awhile ago to let Riley and her friends enjoy the rest of the party. Josh was going to leave earlier too, needing to study and feeling a bit awkward and out of place, but something kept him from leaving. He leaned his elbows on the roof, drinking some root beer and looking at the stars- or at least what he could see with all of the light pollution. 

“I love watching the stars” Maya said softly next to him, “They’re just burning rocks but they’re beautiful. We’re looking at something that died millions of years ago but it’s left it’s mark. And we are so small in comparison. It helps me put my problems in perspective. I’m just a tiny speck, I should live life to the fullest.”

Josh smiled, “What’s brought on all the existentialism?”

“I was up late last night” she smiled. 

He smiled back before looking at the stars once again. He wished he could think like that. That his decisions weren’t cataclysmic and Earth shaking. When he was with her that feeling started to go away, like he was going under a spell. But that wasn’t real. His mind was playing tricks on him, and even if he felt that way for Maya it could never happen. He buried the burning feeling rising in his chest as he saw how mesmerized Maya was with the sky before tearing away his gaze.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! sorry for the long absence, i’ve been super busy and had a major writing slump, but i’m back now! i’m still going to write this fic despite gmw cancellation. also, someone requested that i write a quick summary of the previous chapter (probably bc i update every blue moon) so here:
> 
> josh and maya made some cupcakes for riley’s birthday and josh started to catch some feelings. he quickly shut them down, becoming the human version of i_wont_say_im_in_love.mp3 but maya broke down his walls once again during riley’s surprise party.

The first semester of Maya’s freshman year had gone and past, filling her with both a sense of accomplishment and a sense of dread. She had done well on her finals, partially due to the six friend’s late night study sessions, but also her own newfound drive and motivation. On the other hand, she was only halfway done with her first year of highschool, and as Riley had informed her a few months prior, she had three more years after this one until she was done. Part of her hoped everything would get easier as time went on, but even Cory said it wouldn’t while he was ranting on New Year’s Eve.

_ “Soon you guys are going to be sophomores, and get all these feelings that I’d really rather not have you guys explore but of course you will anyways- and then I’ll have to find a historical event to relate to seven minutes in heaven-” _

_ “Cory!” Topanga hit her husband's arm, and took away his glass of champagne. _

_ “And then it’ll be junior year, and you guys will be taking the SAT and choosing colleges and drifting apart. Plus, I’m sure you guys will still have breakups and make ups and question your friendship… God I’m going to  _ **_hate_ ** _ junior year aren’t I? Why did I even agree to teach high school? It was so much easier when you guys were in middle school” Cory lamented.  _

_ Lucas shook his head, “No, middle school was when the triangle started.  _ **_Nothing_ ** _ about that time was easy.” _

_ Cory’s brows furrowed in anger and confusion, “Why are you even in my house?!” _

_ “Because you said I can have my friends over,” Riley shifted uncomfortably next to Maya, “What do you mean questioning our friendship?” _

_ “Yeah Matthews, Riley and I… All of us are forever” Maya said matter-of-factly.  _

_ Smackle cleared her throat, “Well, forever isn’t  _ **_actually_ ** _ attainable, especially considering the sun will eventually collide with the Earth, and the fact that I have yet to find the secret to immortality.” _

_ “Smackle’s right, forever goes against science, time-wise. And forever goes against life. It’s constantly changing. Although I suppose if anything were to come close it would be Riley and Maya” Farkle agreed. _

_ “And all of us right?” Riley questioned, putting her hand in Lucas’, “We’re different from others. We won’t fall out and forget about each other.” _

_ “Maybe not forget about each other, but as you progress in your last two years you’re going to be bombarded with work. Study sessions at Topanga’s might not be as frequent. And you’ll be going to different colleges and growing up… Oh god, college. My baby is going to be leaving!” Cory started to sob.  _

_ Topanga shook her head at her husband’s theatrics, “Let’s get you to bed Cory.” _

_ “You know, a couple years ago your New Year’s Eve party was full of entertainment and drama, but I have to say, this year is just depressing” Zay quipped.  _

_ “Mom?” Riley asked, a sad look in her eyes. _

_ “Yes sweetie?” Topanga looked at her daughter while slinging Cory’s arm over her shoulder. _

_ “Will that really happen? Are we going to stop being friends?” _

_ Topanga sighed, “It won’t be easy, but you can try. And either way, you’ll always have the memories you guy’s have shared. So don’t worry about it and enjoy the time you do have with each other” she walked off with Cory. _

_ “No. I won’t allow it. We’re going to be friends forever okay?” Maya stood up, “I can’t afford to lose you guys.” _

_ The five friends nodded in agreement. _

In addition to New Year’s and years of highschool, another important year had passed. The day of her birth to be exact. She was turning sixteen today, and of course the universe decided to make today the day she had a biology test. Maya was pretty sure it was illegal for her teacher to give them test only two weeks into the semester.

She was sat next to her lab partner, Lucas, whose leg was bouncing on the stool.

“Can you stop?” Maya hissed under her breath.

Lucas looked at her and realized what he was doing, “Sorry” he whispered before turning his attention back to the test.

Eventually his nervous energy was transferred to bouncing his pencil between his thumb and index finger whenever he was thinking about a question. Maya rolled her eyes, trying to ignore the anxious mess beside her. 

The shrill bell eventually rang, Lucas sweeping the eraser shavings off of his desk and the two of them packing up before dropping off their tests at Mrs. Hollis’ desk. At this point, they usually walked to Riley’s locker and eventually meet up with everyone else, grabbing some brunch at the cafeteria. However, they had barely walked out the door before Maya pulled him aside.

“Why were you all nervous in there?” Maya interrogated.

“It’s a test? People usually get nervous about important stuff like that Maya. Let’s go-”

Maya rolled her eyes and pulled him back, “Lucas, you have the best grade in our class. And this was more than just normal test anxiety.”

Lucas sighed, looking at the floor while he was trying to decide whether or not he wanted to tell her before taking a deep breath, “I was thinking about what Cory was saying about college. And I did some research. To be accepted into a good and well respected school with a great veterinary program, I need to take AP Biology- which is known as one of the hardest AP classes in the school. If I fall behind in this class, if I don’t understand something, then I won’t be prepared enough for AP Bio. I… I can’t fail okay?”

“Lucas,” Maya put a hand on his shoulder, “You’re gonna be fine. Don’t worry about all that stuff. I  _ know _ you’ll get into a good college. You’re smart. But we’re only freshmen. Focus on right now and lighten up a bit.”

He smiled brightly, “Thank you Maya.”

“Don’t tell anyone I was nice to you” she threatened.

“My lips are sealed.”

“Anyways, if you want to relax and have fun for a bit I heard there’s gonna be a fun party tonight” Maya winked. 

“Why would there be a party tonight?” Lucas asked with faux innocence, a teasing look across his face. 

Maya groaned, “You are not a good liar. Huckleberry, you made me a card and played ‘Happy Birthday’ for me on the harmonica when I walked into class.”

“Yes I did,” Lucas nodded, “And you have no video or witness proof.”

Maya groaned with frustration, walking past him and heading towards Riley’s locker. Lucas turned on the heel of his foot and followed, a smug grin plastered across his face. The hallway rush had died down so it didn’t take as long as usual to get to their destination. The pair approached her locker, seeing Riley and Farkle looking into it, discussing something intensely. 

“Whatcha doin?” Maya asked, standing on her tiptoes to look over their heads. 

Riley gasped and slammed her locker closed while turning around, shock written all over her face. Farkle played it off much more cooly, scratching the back of his neck. 

Maya smirked, “What were you guys talking about?”

“Nothing!” Riley replied at the same time Farkle had answered ‘the English homework’. 

“Hmm, interesting,” Maya put a finger to her chin, like she was deep in thought, “Either you guys were talking about English homework or nothing, which is it? Although, to be fair, I wouldn’t know what the homework was because I never do it.”

“It doesn’t matter, we don’t have English today anyways. Did you enjoy the cupcake I made for you this morning?” Riley asked, trying to change the subject.

“Yes, although next time I recommend that you don’t wake me up at 6:30 in the morning by yelling happy birthday in my ear.”

“Noted. How was the biology test?” Riley asked, taking Lucas’ hand in hers. Maya decided to let Riley think she had successfully avoided her questioning- she knew it would come up again soon enough.

“It was alright, but I’m nervous about the chromosome identification portion” Lucas admitted.

“Those were chromosomes?! I thought I had to find a hidden word!” Maya shouted in disbelief.

Lucas furrowed his brows, “What word did you even find?”

“I will not give up my academic integrity by telling you the answers I got on my test Ranger Rick,” Maya shunned him, “And I thought you were the moral compass of the group.”

“Well today in science  _ I _ learned about quantum field theory,” Farkle informed, a smug smile on his face, “But I’m proud of you dum-dum” Farkle patted Lucas’ head before having it promptly swatted away by the Texan.

Just then Smackle and Zay rounded the corner, “Okay Riley, we finished the banner-”

“Sh!” Riley quieted them harshly, running over to close the large paper they were currently revealing to her.

“What’s that?” Maya questioned, even though she knew exactly what they were holding.

“Oh, um…” Zay searched for an answer, “It’s our project for art class.”

Smackle nodded, “We were showing Riley because Zay and I have been fighting over making it perfect.”

“That’s interesting, because neither of you take art class” Maya pointed out.

Zay raised his free hand in defeat, “Fine, fine. I was going to ask Farkle to the dance” he shrugged.

“Wouldn’t that lie make more sense coming from me?” Smackle raised a brow.

Riley sighed, “There isn’t even a dance coming up.”

“Sure, I’d love to go” Farkle shrugged.

“Farkle!” Smackle shouted in disbelief. 

“What?” Farkle stuffed his hands in his jacket, “Zay’s a good dancer. I wanna work on my moves” he attempted to do a little dance, but it ended up looking like all of his bones were trying to escape from his body while he was slipping on ice.

Zay shook his head and turned to Smackle, “I hate when white people try to dance.”

Smackle nodded her head and started to do the robot awkwardly.

“Nevermind, you’re no good either.”

Smackle ignored him, “So, now that I’m free… Lucas, would you like to go to the dance with me?”

Lucas sighed and put a hand to his forehead, “Why didn’t I just stay in Texas?”

Maya was enjoying watching everyone struggle to keep a secret she already knew, but she felt bad that they thought they were successful, “The banner is for my surprise birthday party at Topanga’s. You were going to have Zay distract me while you set up- and you got my favorite mint chocolate chip ice cream, but got rid of those gross chocolate chips and put the good ones in.”

“How do you do that every time?!” Riley stomped her foot. 

“I can smell the mint on Zay’s hands” she pointed out.

“Nah, that’s just my lotion. Burt’s Bees.”

Riley sighed, “I meant how do you always figure out what we’re going to do for your surprise parties.”

“Because I  _ hate _ surprises, so I always figure them out before I can be surprised. Don’t worry, I’ve been practicing my shocked face” Maya threw her hands on her cheeks and dropped her jaw, letting out a gasp.

Riley crossed her arms, “Why won’t you just let me surprise you?”

“Riles, you know I don’t like surprises. Not since the surprise of my dad leaving,” she shrugged, trying to act like she didn’t care, “You don’t need to give me a big party. Just invite over some of my friends and let me have some fun… Did you get those sparklers left over from new year’s? It’s the safest way for me to set something on fire.”

“Great, I thought she wouldn’t figure that one out” Riley lamented, burying her head in Lucas’ chest.

“I bet I could figure out what present you got me,” Maya put a finger on her chin, “I’ve been watching quite a bit of The Owl Detective with Auggie lately.”

“Maya, stop” Lucas warned, his hand rubbing Riley’s back. 

She paced around thinking through the possibilities, “Did you get me those acrylics I wanted?”

“No” Riley answered, her voice muffled, “Should I have?”

“Damn, I knew the owl detective was an idiot!” Maya cursed.

“I’m confused, are we still doing a party tonight or not?” Zay asked, “Because if not I’ve got to plan what color Farkle and I will wear.”

“I was thinking a deep purple.”

Maya rolled her eyes, “Sorry boys, but I still want to have a birthday party. Just not a surprise one.”

“Will there be any eligible mates attending this party?” Smackle inquired.

“Smackle!” Farkle yelled.

She shrugged, “What, you’re the one who’s going to the dance with Zay. I would like a companion as well.”

“For the last time, there isn’t a dance coming up!” Lucas groaned in frustration, throwing up his free hand in the air- the other one being held by Riley.

“I don’t like the idea of you with someone else,” Farkle shook his head and walked closer to Isadora, “Sorry Zay, but I think I’m going to stick with my arch love-isis” he threw his arm around Smackle.

Zay gasped, “I can’t believe you would betray our love like that!”

“You guys are ridiculous” Lucas sighed.

“Yeah, but you love us” Riley looked up at him smiling, the bell ringing signalling the end of brunch.

Lucas nodded and Maya beamed. So far, they were proving Cory wrong- nothing would change.

\--------

The ‘surprise’ party was going well, Riley had pretended Maya didn’t know about it, forcing everyone to hide behind the furniture in Topanga’s and pop out to yell happy birthday. Everyone already knew Maya had figured it out, so the shouts were a bit lackluster. Maya didn’t mind, she had chocolate cake and those who cared about her around.

She supposed they could be considered her family. Like most holidays, Maya always felt a bit incomplete on her birthday due her father’s absence. But now she was starting to feel loved around her friends. It wasn’t just her and Katy anymore. Her family included her friends, and the Matthews. Maybe it wasn’t her father’s love or attention, but part of Maya felt like she’d rather have the support of those who truly cared about her than some half-assed recognition from a man she barely even knew.  

Maybe Maya went a little too far this morning with Riley. The brunette was just trying to do something nice for her and even though it frustrated her that Riley wouldn’t just let the whole surprise thing go, she pushed at her buttons a little too much. She looked to her right, where Riley sat, frosting on her face while she laughed about something with Josh. Just next to her was Lucas, who upon noticing her staring sent her a look that said ‘apologize’. And while Maya did not listen to others and often did things out of spite, she knew it was the right thing to do.

“Riles?”

“Yes peaches?” Riley turned to her, taking another bite of cake.

Maya stifled her laughter as her friend was somehow able to get even  _ more _ frosting on her face, “Thanks for the party, it’s been really nice so far.”

“Nothing but the best for my best friend” Riley threw her arm over Maya, “I’m sorry it wasn’t exactly what you wanted though.”

She shook her head, “No, I’m sorry I pushed it today. I know you were just trying to give me the ‘normal’ birthday experience, but I’m fine with what I have.”

“It’s fine,” Riley smiled, “Next year I’ll try to resist throwing a surprise party.”

“And if you can’t, I guess it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world,” she admitted and Riley’s face lit up, “But let’s stick the plan that you don’t.”

Riley nodded, giving Maya’s arm a squeeze before letting go. The gnawing feeling of regret was gone, and she finally felt good enough to have some of her cake. She took a bite, letting out an involuntary noise of content as she tasted what felt like the food of heaven.

“You like it?” Farkle asked beside Lucas. Maya nodded in response.

“Good,” Josh smiled, “I had to spend all night baking it with them. Definitely not as fun as the last time I had to bake, Farkle is  _ very _ intense in the kitchen.”

“Now I know why it looks like crap” Maya smirked, looking at the mess of sprinkles and the shoddy lettering.

“That was Zay and Lucas,” Farkle sighed, “I  _ told _ Riley they’d mess up the whole dish but  _ nooo, _ they had to help somehow.”

Lucas sheepishly took a sip of his cocoa, avoiding eye contact while Zay gave an apathetic shrug. 

Smackle pushed her glasses further up her face, “Dearest one, how one looks on the outside does not affect what is on the inside. If anyone should understand this it is us.”

Farkle crossed his arms, looking a bit like an angry baby, “That’s just a cake, not a person!”

“Exactly, it’s  _ just a cake _ ” Smackle smiled smugly.

Farkle stammered, upset that she outsmarted him, “Fine, you’re right.”

The seven finished their cake, catching up on the few things they hadn’t already. Riley had been thinking about joining the school newspaper, Lucas and Zay were making improvements in baseball, and to no one’s surprise, Farkle and Isadora were dominating the science club. Josh was taking new classes, and informed Maya that he magically passed his psych class. He was able to take some more classes geared to his architecture major, and was taking some photography classes as well. He started to talk about a class he was taking with Andrew, Charlotte, and Jasmine but Katy interrupted the conversation.

“Hey babygirl, do you want start opening presents?” Katy asked. 

Maya nodded, curious to see what her friends and family got her. Everyone settled into their seats, Riley sitting next to her on the couch, while Katy and Shawn were on the chairs beside her. She started opening her gifts, getting mostly art supplies and records from everyone, which Maya was perfectly happy with. Riley had gotten her a new sketchbook as well as some nice watercolors. 

There weren’t very many presents left, only a present from Josh and one from her mom, although she and Shawn had already given her an easel this morning.  She picked up Josh’s present, which was in a blue bag. Josh fiddled with his fingers nervously across from her. Inside was a card, which she put aside to read later; as well as a set of copic markers. Maya gasped, staring at them.

“Holy crap” Maya’s eyes snapped up to meet his.

“Are they bad? I picked them up ‘cause some art majors said they were pretty good” He shrugged, feigning nonchalance. Maya could tell that he did, in fact know what they were.

“ _ Bad _ ?” she repeated incredulously, “These are only the  _ best _ art markers that professionals use… Wait, how did you afford these? They’re crazy expensive and you’re a broke college student.”

“Thanks” Josh replied, his voice dripping in sarcasm, “But I saved up some money. No big deal.” 

Maya stood up and hugged him, “It’s a big deal. Thank you Josh.”

It took him a moment to put his arms around her before whispering ‘happy birthday’ in her ear. When she pulled away a very slight blush was dusted across his cheeks that only she noticed. 

She opened the final gift, a few small canvases from her mom. Maya began thanking everyone but Shawn stopped her.

“Actually, I have one more gift for you” he pulled a small square box adorned with a bow out of his leather jacket and handed it to her. 

Maya lifted the top of the box off, and blinked blankly at what was inside. She pulled out a key, “What’s this?”

“A key to our new apartment- if you want you and your mom to move in with me” Shawn replied.

The ground beneath her feet felt like it was crumbling around her, and she was finding it hard to breathe. Moving in with Shawn? This was a huge step for her mom and him. And for her relationship with Shawn as well. Not to mention the fact that Katy and her wouldn’t be alone anymore. Maya couldn’t think clearly, she was excited and happy but nervous as hell.

“Woah” was all she managed to say.

“Ha! You got surprised!” Riley rejoiced, but slapped a hand on her mouth once she realized what she said. Maya ignored the comment, she knew Riley had no idea about this either. However, her reaction shook Maya out her daze a bit.

Maya let out a shaky breath, “Why do you want to move in with us? Tell me why you did this.”

“I’m always driving over here to spend time with you and your mom after my trips for Hit the Road,” Shawn began, “So there isn’t really a reason for me to live upstate. And Katy and I want to take our relationship a step further.”

She was about to ask where the apartment was but Cory beat her to it, “Is it the apartment above us?! Am I going to be able to go over to yours and ask for sugar?”

Topanga sighed, “Cory, that apartment got rented months ago.”

“Let me live my dream!”

Shawn rolled his eyes affectionately, “It’s nearby. You’ll still be close to Riley and be able to go to Abigail Adams. Your mom and I made sure of it.”

Maya looked at the brass key in her hands, her thumb stroking the cold metal. Isn’t this what she wanted? A happy family? Why did she feel so scared? What if they did move in together and Shawn decided he never wanted to see her or Katy again? Everything could get messed up if they got an apartment, and then she’d be right back where she started. Maya wasn’t sure she could handle another father figure leaving. 

Her eyes scanned her friends faces, searching for their opinion. None of them looked as scared as she did. Riley was smiling hopefully at her. She found herself looking at a pair of familiar blue eyes for an answer. Josh gave her a look, one that said she knew what the right thing was to do. But did she? Maya wasn’t exactly experienced with family or happily ever afters. 

Suddenly she was reminded of her conversation with Josh the day after Thanksgiving. Her telling him that she wanted to focus on how she was lucky, and what made her happy.

_ “Good. I’m glad you’re starting to see you are _ **_so_ ** _ much more than your dad… The circumstances you come from don’t dictate your life.” _

His words rang through her ears. Maya needed to start letting good things happen to her. There was no way to tell it would end up exactly like it did with her father. And if all it  _ did _ turn to shit, well, Maya and her mom were strong enough to handle it. She closed her palm, letting the ridges of the key make an indentation, changing the lines across her skin. 

She smiled at Shawn and Katy, “I guess I’ll need to start figuring out my new route to the bay window.”


End file.
